October 15, 2008
Faecal Matter On Public Transport.
The Facts!
I hasten to add that I am amongst the 64% of Liverpool men who wash up after 'leaving a message'. Not like those other shitty-handed bastards. Another reason to drive to work...
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Oh my god! And every one of those people on the bus! They're all filled with poop! I'm never going outside again!
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Poop.
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I would suspect that this percentage is the same as the percentage for the general population, food service workers, surgeons, and small children.. But, probably higher than the percentage for my five kats' butts... which seem to be kept very clean.. (however do not EVER let their tongue touch your face!)
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This phenomenon would likely explain crap posts/comments; I suspect the preview button has shit on it! *wipes before posting*
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Just don't get fæcal matter on your pœnis.
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The horror! You mean public transport isn't as sterile clean as our tootbrushes?
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Those metal poles on the tube, you can actually see a slight sheen of greasy slime on them from all the hands that have clasped them. God knows what's in there: sweat, sputum, sebum, phlegm, pus, and worse; honest crap is the least of it, probably. But you've got to hold them or fall over, and if you fall over it's like the bleedin' Lion King, I'm telling you: you'll never get up again...
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Hadaway and shite on yer hands, Geordie.
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/puts down breakfast
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/brings up breakfast
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/brings up lunch
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/goes out for coffee
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/washes hands repeatedly
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MonkeyFilter: sweat, sputum, sebum, phlegm, pus, and worse.
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MonkeyFilter: Not like those other shitty-handed bastards.
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MonkeyFilter: Wipes before posting.
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Well done!! *stands* *applauds*