October 13, 2008

Patronising American tries to tell the Brits they drink too much. By choosing the most obvious examples of binge-drinking stag parties. See this pint of Guinness love? Well you can have it when you take it from my (extra) cold dead hands.

I love booze, me.

  • Next they'll be telling us not to shove urchins up chimneys. Cheeky feckers.
  • Government figures released last year show that British adults on average drink the equivalent of 11.4 litres of pure alcohol a year – translating into 130 bottles of wine or 1,137 pints of beer. I think 130 bottles of wine per year works out at a little over 2 glasses per day (2.5 bottles per week, 6 glasses per bottle). Is this really excessive?
  • Or, OR, 3 pints of beer a day. Walk in the effing park. I mean, after a hard day at the office, the Call of Canthulhu from the fridge is hard to ignore.
  • We are Americans! We wrote the BOOK on foreign policy! Of course, it was a terrible read, was remaindered, and was titled "Foreign Policy for Dummies" by George W. (for warheads) Bush, but hey, most of us can see Russia from our porch
  • The Poms *do* drink too much. It's an excessively alcoholic culture. But, frankly, if you lived in England, you'd fuckin' drink too. The Aussies are also a bunch of alcoholics, because they're descended from the Poms, Irish & Scots, and it's hot. Alcohol is a scourge.
  • I resemble that remark! *hic*
  • Also, to all you French people out there--stop having so much sex!
  • Can all Americans really see Russia from the top deck of their bus?
  • I am told that the typical Brit drinker wants to get as drunk as possible, as fast as possible, and as cheaply as possible. I know Americans and Canadians drinkers like that, but they do not fall into the "typical" category, to me. Is my impression of the Get Pissed, Get Sick, Get Up, Do It Again drinker wrong?
  • She mentions a high tolerance for alcohol - doesn't that imply that you'd expect more of it to be consumed?
  • For a lot of younger people, yes. Go drinking in any town on a Friday / Saturday night and you'll see it. However, there is also the 'longer session' drinkers too. And the 'drink at home' type (of which I am probably one). Going the pub is largely rubbish now- you can't smoke (even if I still did), it's expensive, and it's full of twats. So unless you've got somewhere nice to drink, and nice people to go with, it's not much fun schlepping along with your SO only, when you can enjoy each other's company at home for half the price and you always know where the loos are.
  • Apparently, even their dolls need to know where the loos are. Might want to just read the text if you're at work.
  • Cheers!
  • Alcohol is a scourge. A , refreshing, thirst-quenching, throat-lubricating scourge!
  • Who hit the comma key? Why don't we have a goddamned preview button?
  • Monkeyfilter: you can't smoke, it's expensive, it's full of twats
  • We had to throw the preview button away when some drunken Englishman threw up on it.
  • Just a reminder that today is Thanksgiving in Canada and Columbus Day in the US, so let's all have a drink, give thanks, and enslave, torture, mutilate and murder of thousands of Indians of the Caribbean islands. Cheers!
  • I think 130 bottles of wine per year works out at a little over 2 glasses per day (2.5 bottles per week, 6 glasses per bottle). Is this really excessive? Red wine is supposedly very good for your health, and I remember reading somewhere that 2 glasses per day was the optimal amount. Or that's what I tell myself, anyway.
  • Doin' what I can to raise the mean
  • I'm a (golden) mean drunk.
  • In a drink off between "Joe Six Pack" and "Joseph One Over The Eight" my money is on the Limeys. (Lager and limeys that is).
  • I remember reading somewhere that 2 glasses per day was the optimal amount. Perfect.
  • Good to know that if I'm worried I drink too much, there's always the British.
  • Let's get the facts, facts, shall we?
  • "Let's get the facts, facts, shall we?" America, are we going to let ourselves be outdrank by a buncha Commies? It's time for the Joe Twelve-Packs to stand up and defend our country.
  • Of course, a lot of that beer drunk in the USA is actually 'beer'; filtered rice-based beverage with added corn syrup, free of any of that off-putting beer flavour.
  • True story: I woke up this morning on the couch, fully dressed, candles still burning, half a bottle of scotch next to me. ON A FUCKING MONDAY NIGHT!!! Lesson learned: never try to keep up with the posh neighbour. Years of breeding means they can drink more than us.
  • the fact is, I had NOOOOOO idea that I, my husband, and most of my dearest friends are all in fact....BRITS!!!!!
  • Patronising is actually spelled with a z: patronizing. KTHXBYE.
  • I like how appalled she is by a man daring to be shy I felt this keenly at one of these dinners when the man on my left, a moderately successful publishing executive, turned out to be a twitching parody of a tongue-tied Englishman spooked by normal social interaction. He answered in monosyllables. He failed to initiate topics of conversation. He stared at his bread roll, shuffled in his chair, fidgeted with his napkin. Aside from the occasional phlegm-displacing sound he was a silent companion. He failed to initiate topics of conversation? The bastard!
  • dng FTW
  • From the comments: I went to a dinner party the other night. The new yorker sitting next to me was brash, rude, passive-aggressive and generally unpleasant, so I stayed quiet for the first part of the meal while enjoying a little wine to dull the pain. Later I made sarcastic remarks about her she didn't understand.