September 16, 2008
History's Ten Most Terrifying Contraceptives
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Don't buy that?
How about sneezing?
Or stewed onions!!! No wonder Herodotus wept!
Back in the day we used fennel under our flannel.
Best be takin' some precautions.
need I say may be NSFW in certain prissy offices?
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"Spray and pray" has provided me with some of my most terrifying moments. "Vatican roulette," as old Father Wheeler called it back in high school.
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A pouch containing a cat liver to sit on my left foot during sex, eh? Where might one procure such a contraceptive device? It sounds highly scientific.
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The fennel story is neat, thanks.
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"Yes, Madame, you can use an aspirin as a contraceptive pill". "But Doctor, do I take it before or after sex?" "Oh you don't swallow it - you just hold it between your knees!"
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Were the weasel testicles reusable? "Shall we slaughter another weasel, then? I brought a pack of three."
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I would think that the process of castrating a weasel would be enough to put anyone out of the mood. 'Cept Kit, of course.
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Back when I was doing research into Lysol advertising for a school project, I read all kinds of early 20th-century ads recommending douching with the stuff for "feminine daintiness." Although the ads didn't specifically recommend it as a contraceptive, I'm given to understand that a lot of women believed in a post-coital Lysol flush for that purpose.
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(Also, because it's a well-known fact boys have cooties.)
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Well, I guess Mrs. Frogs didn't have any fennel on her last month then, 'cause now she's knocked up. (Hooray, I'm gonna have a lil' tadpole!) QUITE glad that modern birth control is better than the crap (literally, I guess!) people used to use. The wife and I survived 10 years of married coital bliss and 7 years of pre-marital sex (for shame!) with not a single kid to show for it, thanks to various barrier and hormonal methods. Clearly, if it's used correctly, it does what it says it does.
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Congrats, frogs!
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Why not just put a cork in the puppy? (We've been through all of this before on another thread, by the way, and it not only works, but has the side effect of assuring multiple male orgasms.)
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Hooray for Frogs and the Mrs!!! 17 years? No wonder fennel's extinct!
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That's frogtastic!
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Congrats! I thought canadians still used beaver-testicle hooch.
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Sorry, Lara. Now we have something a bit more refined.
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Yay frogs! Congrats!
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congrats to CLF and teh missus! One monkeytadpole coming right up!
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Congrats!
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Well spawned!
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Captain, is that g+t a gin and toe?
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Thanks, all. We're having fun with the little zygote so far. Sometime in May I get to meet the little guy/gal. Sweeet.
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I hope it's OK to hijack this thread for a minute, GramMa, but it seemed like the most appropriate place. U.S. Monkeys, we have until 9/25 to comment on President Bush's proposed rule for the Department of Health and Human Services regarding family planning and women's health. Whether or not you agree with it, it's an important bit of policy, with nuance and implications beyond the blcak and white of the (rather vague) words, and needs as much feedback as it can get. HHS news release (with link to PDF of the proposed regulation here. NYT Op Ed piece here If you're OK with Planned Parenthood, they've set up an easy e-mail form. As a survivor of ovarian cancer, it's an issue dear to my heart. /off soapbox Now, how's about some funny antique contraceptives?
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TUM: Take it to the front page! It's too important to bury here.