August 26, 2008

• Last winter I jogged by a gigantic outdoor inflatable nativity scene. It was after the new year, and the homeowners had stopped tending to it but hadn't quite gotten around to deflating it completely and putting it away. The result was that one of the inflatable "roof" supports had deflated, bringing the top down square on top of Baby Jee and his manger, leaving his feet sticking out like the Wicked Witch. I wish I'd had a camera.
• What? No Bearativity or Moositivity sets? When I lived in London, there was a giant nativity scene in one of the city parks. They had a problem with Baby Jesus being stolen all the time, so Jesus was usually just a plastic doll, which didn't match the rest. What they were doing placing Baby Jesus in the manger before Christmas in the first place, I have no idea. Anyway, the city came up with a solution to the problem of Baby-Jesus-thefts, by covering the manger with a clear plastic top, sealing Him inside. What I could never understand, though, is why that clear plastic top was made with airholes.
• And until I inherit my parents' nativity set, I quite like my one from Playmobil, though a Dick Bruna set could do quite nicely as well.
• I'm still scarred by the animated Baby Jesus who fell out of his manger in the Woolworth's window when I was a kid. Instead of lying on his back gently wiggling his little arms and legs in contentment, he was writing on the floor apparently clutching his abdomen in agony. Foreshadowing, I guess.
• FERCHRISAKE, it isn't even Labor Day yet. Will you people observe the holidays in their specific order!! I would really have to display this one in a creche made from a KFC bucket. Orange juice just came out my nose. Dang, but that's funny. I must have a nativity made of rubber duckies. WANT!
• Chicken nativity! B'gock! I would really have to display this one in a creche made from a KFC bucket. I love the descriptions so much!
• They missed this guy:
• Sock Monkey Nativity There used to be a hosiery store here in town who did one of these in the shop window at Christmas.
• I used to get the playmobil Advent calendar every year*, where you get a toy for each day in December. One year I got a barn set, which was suspiciously like a Nativity set without the people. *This was pre-toddler, who would undoubtedly go through and destroy the set like Godzilla
• Sock Monkey Jesus works for me on many different levels.
• meredithea, this nativity is for you, then.
• If Jesus were the son of Tiamat and Godzilla, that would be the best Christ ever.
• I love the fact that King Ghidora is, like, ALL THREE wise men. That rules. MESSIAH ATTACK: DESTROY ALL GODMONSTERS!
• I found the Sock Monkey Nativity to be spiritually enlightening.
• I want a Sock Monkey Crucifixion and Pieta. And after that, Sockem and Gomorrah.
• And Abraham sacrificing Isock.
• Holey scenes, all.
• I would have them all explode on Xmas day. Fireworks or pyro bangers, whatnot.
• I like to take the little jesus guy and move him to the side and take one of the cows and put it where the little jesus guy was.
• My family had a beautiful set with detailed figures, Wise Men, animals (I liked the little, tiny chickens and a turkey-in-a-basket), fake rocks, a manger made of real twigs and wood scraps... but the baby jesus was in a different scale, it was huge compared to the rest of the scene, and very caucasian looking, all golden curls and rosy cheeks. Disturbing.
• When I was a kid my friend's family had a full set of small figures in porcelain or something equally breakable. Over the years a wise man would get cracked, Joseph would lose a limb, the animals were decimated and each would be replaced by a Fisher-Price figure (these things). Eventually is was all Fisher-Price and way cooler.
• Don't forget the Four Horsemen of the A-sockolypse!
• We stockings of Orient are...
• So the three kings brought gold, monkeysocks, and myrrh to the little babe...