August 13, 2008

Rocky Horror Picture Show remake imminent. at the hands of MTV. Fans are up in velvet-gloved arms; bloggers wax sardonic amid rumours of Marilyn Manson in the Tim Curry role. Surely we monkeys could cast it better than this? Whom do you deem worthy to wear the basque?
posted by Pallas Athena 16 years ago
  • I'm a bit puzzled by the whole thing. The original sort of captured the zeitgeist of a time. Oh, well. I think I'd cast Lindsey Lohan as Columbia, if she can tap dance. Jack Black as Eddie. Hugh Jackman as Dr. Furter. Clay Aiken as Brad? I think it'd be hard for any young actor and actress of our time to play the naiveté of Brad and Janet without going too tongue-in-cheek.
  • Castles don't have phones.
  • I'll be Magenta.
  • My vote is for Chillee Ugum to play all roles.
  • Maybe Guy Pearce as Dr Furter? Richard O'Brien as the Criminologist. Jack Black would make an excellent Eddie. Hayden Christensen as Rocky. Steve Buscemi as Riff-Raff.
  • Richard O'Brien as the Criminologist. Brilliant!!! I notice that the blog in the second link mentions Johnny Depp as Dr. Furter, which would also be sublime.
  • Neil Patrick Harris as Brad. Ian McKellan as Dr. Scott.
  • See -- here's my problem. I start off with Susan Sarandon, and think of who could wear a white slip and bra as well as she, and then my brain just lodges there, thinking of Susan Sarandon in her little white slip and little white bra, not wanting to go anywhere else. You see my difficulty. At least a remake might allow me to see it from start to finish. If you add up all the bits of it I've seen, I've seen it, like, 40 times, but never as a complete story. Might be interesting. Though I doubt the remake will at all threaten any midnight screenings.
  • Re: Neil Patrick Harris and Ian McKellen -- an all-gay Rocky Horror could be quite a bit of fun.
  • Why is it they always remake the films that don't need remaking? I can tell you already what they'll say about it, though "This is a much darker take on the story than the original".
  • The last time I saw this movie on TCM, I thought it was ripe for a remake.
  • Loran Basra Evan as Frank N. Furter
  • First off, argharghargh NO. Nonono. No. Why on earth are they doing this? Is Richard O'B really that strapped for cash? Why dear lord why? Marilyn Manson? For serious? NO WAI. Just ... no. Not sexy enough, not subtle enough. Ugh. Anthony Stewart Head did a brilliant Frank on stage, but he's getting a bit old now. Ditto Tim McInnery. Much as I utterly adore Johnny Depp, I can't see him pulling it off either. Rupert Everett maybe? Jack Black has the Meatloaf-esque physique, granted, but he's a smug gurning ham with none of the class and little of the talent. Tip 'o the hat to roryk for Steve Buschemi as Riff-Raff, that could actually totally work. But it's tough to think of anyone who would be a patch on the original. This being an MTV-sponsored hoopla, it'll end up being Ben Affleck as Brad and Hayden Panettiere as Janet and Ben goddam Stiller as Frank and then I shall cry.
  • Wil Wheaton as... well, I just don't think this is the right film for him.
  • I think I'd cast Lindsey Lohan as Columbia, if she can tap dance. Jack Black as Eddie. Hugh Jackman as Dr. Furter. Why, TUM, WHY!? The horror, indeed! That's the stuff of nightmares, right there!
  • *starts making Wonder Bread toast and enriched Uncle Ben's white rice to throw at this concept*
  • The new film will have its UK premiere on the Sky Movies channel. So, it's straight to the telly? This sounds worse by the minute...
  • I'd cast Eddie Izzard as Frankie
  • why not have susan sarandon do it again?
  • If a remake were necessary, I say that John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch) would be the only logical choice to play/sing the role of Frank (although I think a case could be made for Eddie Izzard, and Jack Black as Eddie would be dementedly inspired casting). But not only is a remake unnecessary, it's really among the worst ideas ever. I mean, like, secretly-firing-US-attorneys levels of worst.
  • Patrick Warburton as Brad - he's the big-chinned nerdy "hero" type we need. Maybe Rachel McAdams as Janet - she can be wholesome in that dated sort of way, and she doesn't need a strong voice - Susan Sarandon's voice wasn't strong. Eddie? That's a tough one. Where do we find a suitably creepy actor? Maybe if Mr More Cowbell Walken wasn't quite so famous, he'd be ideal. But Frank is nearly impossible.
  • If we learned one thing from Friends, it's that Kathleen Turner plays an excellent transvestite.
  • Cillian Murphy! He's got the creepy, he's got the chops -- Breakfast On Pluto showed that he could do Frank in a heartbeat!
  • Photobucket Easy peasy. TELLIN' YOU.
  • Macaulay Culkin as Frank.
  • KILL IT WITH FIRE
  • Where does Boy George fit in all of this?
  • Boy George? Fit? What? MoFi He's got the creepy down, I give him that.
  • I'm tellin' you, the execs at MTV have bookmarked this thread. Their creative brainstorming sessions could not touch us...
  • Crispin Glover might somehow be squeezed into the cast as well...
  • Why, TUM, WHY!? The horror, indeed! That's the stuff of nightmares, right there! For starters, I wouldn't, actually, because I wouldn't touch the project with a ten-foot pole. But if I somehow found myself in that position, here's my explanation of those choices. Lohan as Columbia: She would bering that element of glam trashiness so essential to the aesthetic. Also, she embodies the whole concept of the good girl gone bad through getting into the wrong party scene. Jackman as Furter: He's really a song and dance man, but because of the X-Men movies most audiences think of him as a butch action hero. Frank needs a healthy dose of machismo to avoid falling into camp stereotype, the very reason O'Brien could never have played the role himself. But he also needs to put the songs over like Ute Lemper. Black as Eddie: On the strength of their performance as father and son in Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny. Also, he just has the right sort of voice for "Hot Patootie."
  • Oops. By "their" I mean, of course, Meat Loaf and Jack Black.
  • Hmm. Why mess with perfection? Maybe the remakers should be reminded that the original didn't do all that well at the general box office?
  • Steve Buscemi as Riff Raff is very, very good. I also like Neil Patrick Harris as Brad. Hugh Laurie as Dr. Furter. Or William Shatner, just cause it would be funny as hell. Or Henry Rollins. Several members of the cast of Will and Grace might be interesting, too.
  • Laurie is definitely an intriguing possibility.
  • Two words... Clint. Howard.
  • Personally, I wish they would just buck up and do it the right way for a remake: reverse all the gender roles. Make Frank a girl in butch drag. Make Janet the sort of uptight nerd and Brad the sexually repressed one that discovers he likes strong women. Make Rocky a female. Just reverse EVERY gender in the movie and let it fly. If you're going to fuck with it, at least try to fuck with it in a way that would make it interesting to watch. I mean, otherwise, knowing their intentions at the moment, "interesting to watch" ain't gonna be the result. Hm. I will have to think who I would cast in my reverse gender RHPS.
  • Two words... Clint. Howard. I really really need to come up there and buy you a beer.
  • smallerdemon's idea is great.
  • I can see Lucy Lawless as a female Rocky.
  • Ha! You guys are all, all of you, awesome. Here are a few of my nominees: Paul Bettany as Riff-Raff John Barrowman as Frank Anthony Stewart Head as The Criminologist
  • I really really need to come up there and buy you a beer. It's rocket's round, but who's counting?
  • So far Kit's the only Magenta in the offing, eh?
  • I read this thread before I went to work and I spent all morning with "Hot Patootie" stuck in my head.
  • TUM, you're right. I do believe Kit's the only Magenta we need. *stands back, waves arm* Visualize it. A cast of Rocky Horror Monkeys. NO ONE CAN. DO IT. LIKE WE CAN. DO IT. Now, about the rest of the cast... Frank-N-Furter? Could only be Hank-N-Furter. Janet? Not sure here. Gomi? 'nedra? Someone with that sweet young virginal charm...Rocket? Brad? MCT maybe. Riff Raff? Queso, Flags, Mothy, Pleg--so many of you with such promise. We need auditions! Columbia--hmmmm, who's our own Little Nell? Rocky? Must have more auditions. In costume! Eddie? I like the_bone for this one. *taps teeth* Who am I forgetting? The Transylvanians? The rest of us, of course. *digs feverishly for old stage makeup, tux, white socks* First take this quiz and see just how Rocky you really are, then study up on the screenplay. This is going to be such fun! MonkeyFilter: Oh! If only we hadn't made this journey. If only the car hadn't broken down. If only we were amongst friends - or sane persons! RHPS in Bun-O-Vision
  • Well, most of the characters DO spend a lot of time in their underpants...
  • IIRT*, they're remaking The Women. With Meg Ryan. NYERHE, says I! * In an Interesting Related Travesty
  • And The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, with Robert Shaw replaced by John Fucking Travolta. BAH!
  • So THAT'S his middle name!
  • 72%. I owned a Columbia costume once. I always preferred Magenta, though.
  • I owned a magenta costume once, but it wasn't a Magenta costume.
  • I just realized that William Shatner would make a pretty damn good Criminologist.
  • Oh, yes, Shatner as the Criminologist! Can we start a petition?
  • Speaking of Robert Shaw, a commemorative plaque was unveiled recent in Tourmakeady..