of no fixed subtitle
March 23, 2004
"The Iso-phone is a telecommunication device providing a service that can be described simply as a meeting of the telephone and the floatation tank" (via the always excellent
17 years ago
That chick in the bikini is hot.
I just don't know where to begin...... Uh, I like it, it'd be cool to try out, but, I mean, wouldn't it just be easier to, you know, talk face to face. I'm guessing it would be cheaper, too. You know what this would be good for....PHONE SEX!!! You could have individual tanks and.......uh.....never mind.
Never amassed the courage to try the flotation tank thing, even while I'm sure I'd like it. Been on some specially calm beaches, floating on my back, ears below sea level so sound is mostly blocked, and it was delicious... Yes, I'm sure that if I'd try this phone thing, I'd get hooked. Last thing I need: another monkey on my back... *rimshot*
This is going to be a hard sell at the office.
but see, the point of
tanks is . . . i mean . . everything about this is wrong. And I mean that in the pejorative.
"hello mr. jones, how are you tonight? I just wanted to make you aware of some special offers that we're giving in the neighborhood this week . . ."
The photos gave me the heebie-jeebies- that helmet thing would make me feel totally claustrophobic. I loved the descriptive text, however. It echoed the bloviating and obtuse wordiness of overly self-important grant proposals:
The mobile phone decontextualizes conversation. It extracts talk from specific social context, offering the user freedom to communicate from virtually any social situation regardless of the suitability.... the Iso-phone trades contemporary preoccupation with efficient, ubiquitous and multi-functioning products for quality and depth of a singular experience, requiring total immersion into the telecommunications media.
God, that's creepy! Looks like how you'd incarcerate some sort of psychic super-villain. "To protect the world from the terrible power of
, we have penned him in an iso-phonic ring of unstable molecules...." /Reed Richards
As opposed to simply taking him behind the barn and shooting him. But that wouldn't allow much in the way of a sequel, would it?
You laugh now, but by the end of the year we'll see an iso-phone on every street corner.
I'm just holding out for the mobile iso-phone