July 14, 2008
Dream recorder
- using your Mac to leer at you as you sleep, so you can confess to it the gauzy scenes you've just sashayed through.
"Our night times are very important and should in no way disturbed by computers. This is our motto." Somebody needs an editor.
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Optional attachments: Dutch-OvenĀ® Gas Chromatograph Engorge-o-Scope Arousal Detector (pat. pending) iDrool Sputtle High Capacity Drool Centrifuge (Bluetooth enabled)
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"Control your nights with accurate statistics, including night time, recovery and dream periods. Ideal for sportsmen." ????
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High Decibel Snor-o-later with reverb
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you know, for peak athletical performance.
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Effortlessly convert your talking in sleep to Engrish.
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Y'know, "sportsmen." Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.
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I would actually be interested in trying this out for a week, just for a goof, but the only thing it would record would be my wife murdering me in my sleep for putting something so disruptive in the room.
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Monkeyfilter: the only thing it would record would be my wife murdering me in my sleep for putting something so disruptive in the room.
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Attachment 243670-B45, the Mariticide-o-Meter Measures the amount of murderous rage up to six feet away from your bed!
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Frankie and Johnny were lovers; O Lordy, how they could love! They swore to be true to each other, But his iSight was hangin' above. He was her man, but he done her wrong. Johnny went down to the Apple store Just to buy him an Internet cam, Says to the fat storekeeper, "It'll be all right with my ma'am." He was her man, but he done her wrong. Well, I ain't going to tell you no story, Ain't going to tell you no lie. Frankie went to sleep eight hours ago, And he counted the REMs in her eye. He was her man, but he done her wrong. Frankie woke up in a hurry She didn't wake up full of fun. She got right up to get a hold Of Johnny's shootin' gun He was her man, but he done her wrong. Johnny saw Frankie a comin' Under the bed he did scoot. But Frankie took aim with her pistol, An' the gun went rooty-toot-toot. He was her man, but he done her wrong. The sheriff arrested poor Frankie, And she went without a peep. And now she's locked up in a dungeon cell 'Cause Johnny was filmin' her sleep. He was her man, but he done her wrong.
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Mh. Years ago, after a specially troublesome period when I had intense sleep paralysis episodes, I set up a camera with night-vision connected to a computer with motion detection software. The idea was to record me thrashing on the bed. Let's just say I never went ahead and let it record. Episodes subsided in time. OH, yes, REM can be quite spooky to watch, specially if you like the person...
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I once recorded the sleep of our dogs with my iSight and a time lapse application that captured one frame every 2 seconds . The resulting video was very disturbing since it clearly showed that the dogs never slept longer than 1 minute before checking if the boss REALLY wasn't coming home RIGHT NOW. And that for 10 hours straight.
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That's amazing! That little guy must have great neck muscles.
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That is the awesomest dog bed ever.
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I tried this thing last night. Finally got to hear why my spouse can't handle sleeping next to me: shocking, monstrous sounds that would freeze the veins of small children. I also found that I snore louder on my left side, that I spend very little time on my back and that I snore ALL NIGHT LONG. I was hoping that it would record me talking in my sleep (at the same time apprehensive that I would call some strange woman's name out aloud-whew!) but nada. This seems like a novelty thing to try and I was fascinated but not enough to use it beyond the 15 day free trial.
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That's odd. I snore, and your wife has never mentioned it as a problem.
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WHY YOU, I OTTA.....!!!!
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I'll hold him. You hurt him.