February 16, 2008

Who doesn't want to be this inventor? Steve Hollinger was recently profiled in the New Yorker about his umbrella.

I like the patent website.

posted by goofyfoot 16 years ago
  • Here's the the actual umbrella. Well, not the actual umbrella, but sorta the actual umbrella, you know, the way that Mike Teevee actually went through the television at the chocolate factory.
  • You know, I've long thought that my umbrella could use a good dose of turbulence-inducing microspoilers.
  • I'm not sure I quite understand how this umbrella differs from other umbrellas except in exotic terminology...
  • The distance from the canopy crown-point to the closest point on the longitudinal-chord, defining the chord of maximum canopy height, ranges in length between 5% and 25% of the longitudinal-chord length. An illustration of this range is shown at 2011. Canopy height 2013 is at least 5% and at most 25% of longitudinal-chord length 2015. The US Patent Office needs an enema. I've been reading so much garbage in patents lately that I've been tempted to call my congressmen. I don't have $2000 in PAC money to contribute, so I doubt it will do much good (here in Texas, dollars do the voting).
  • That's great, chips. Just make sure you pay me my cut first, as I filed Patent # 568,952,145,751 covering "A method of contacting legislators, or distributing money to a political organization, for the express purpose of reforming the laws that allowed this patent to be filed". You can read it online, it's only 6540 pages long.
  • Gutter-bumber-chute! Gutter-bumber-chute!