February 14, 2008

• The hamburgers especially fare poorly.
• Wow. The Filet O' Fish looks just as bad in the commercial as it does in real life.
• OK, check the link in the bottom to People in Newspaper Ads Who Look Like They Are Farting.
• I wish someone would initiate a class action lawsuit over this, just so these sad sandwiches could get a bunch of publicity. It's noble people who show how the wool is being pulled over our eyes every day. Interestingly I recall back in the late 1970s that fast food actually looked pretty close to the advertisements. Now apparently corporate and the employees have learned the art of cutting corners.
• Ah, no no no, dear chips. It's the advertisers who have learned the fine art of transcending the real. As I recall, when they were doing the original Betty Crocker cookbook, ad men and photographers had to come up with some original ways to make normal foods look super duper wonderful for the pics. Average things like using shave cream for whipped cream so it doesn't slump, frosting a cardboard "cake" etc. Seems I recall a story about adding brown paint to make ground beef casserole look more appetizing. Heaven forbid your patty should not be the ultimate hamburger. After all, we are a nation that demands perfection.
• I must be a bad advertising subject, because the real food looks much more appetizing to me. Sure, it's messier, but it looks like something you'd actually eat. Maybe it's like pr0n; the glossy pictures are nice, but not as nice as the flawed real McCoy.
• Oh, dear. Don't miss the "Surf Report Rules of Thumb" while you're at it. I hit this one and totally lost it: If a person says, "Go look in the sink" - don't. Memories of one little road trip with an old friend, a quick stop at McDonalds, and not being able to stop laughing all the way back home. Not to mention never stopping at that exit again. Ever. He's one sick piece of work, my friend is. But goddamn I still laugh about that.
• Those pics look like the before/after shots from plastic surgery ads. It's true, BlueHorse; the things that ad photographers use for those pretty shots are more than often anything but edible. From plastic cubes on liquids full of dyes to plaster, clay, sprayed-on coloring and chemical glazing for fake meats, desserts and pastry, it's a matter of mantaining an idealized surrogate of the product under hot lights for hours. And then, it goes to art dept. for photoshopping. The again, I doubt anyone would eat there if the 'real' shots were on display.
• I wouldn't go near any of this food now, but when I was a young snark, with a five dollar bill but without a place to put it, this stuff was delicious. Particularly the Filet-o-fish. What this display omits is the smell. When you're really hungry, smell trumps sight. Surely McDonald's knows this and banks on it.
• "This is an ongoing Pulitzer-caliber project." ???