February 14, 2008

A look into Cookie Monster's mind Cookie Monster interviewed on NPR, including a variation of Proust's famous questionnaire. (via MetaChat)
posted by middleclasstool 16 years ago
  • OM NOM NOM YOU BASTARDS
  • OK, easy there MCT. Put the knife down...easy does it...slowly, slowly ..there, there. Uh, yeah great post. Cookie Monster, yeah he's pretty cool. Cowabunga indeed!
  • ME WANT MURDER IN CLOWN MAKEUP OM NOM HONK HONK NOM
  • Monkeyfilter: OM NOM NOM YOU BASTARDS
  • That was just brilliant. Om nom nom. What are your answers to the Pivot Questionnaire?
  • What is your favorite word? egregious What is your least favorite word? orientated What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? great music/art/photography/ What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Republicans/Fascism What sound or noise do you love? trickling streams What sound or noise do you hate? fans/air conditioners etc. What is your favorite curse word? Dick Cheney What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pro Chess player What profession would you not like to do? DMV agent If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Whassup bro?
  • What is your favorite word? Gnomon. What is your least favorite word? Irregardless. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Great art. Alcohol. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Routine. What sound or noise do you love? Thunder. What sound or noise do you hate? Cracking bone. What is your favorite curse word? Motherfucker. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Trapeeze. What profession would you not like to do? Garbageman. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Long time, no see.
  • Wait -- "Trapeze"? Only two 'e's? Who knew?
  • That was my show! Hooray! We actually have a listener! (and it's MCT, which is even cooler!) And, in other news: What is your favorite word? Lemon. What is your least favorite word? Panties. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Unashamed creativity. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Hypocrisy. What sound or noise do you love? Rain, waves, water noises. What sound or noise do you hate? Car alarms. What is your favorite curse word? Fucknuts! What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pilot. What profession would you not like to do? If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? It's okay, your way got you here too.
  • Ooops, I forgot to say that I would not like to be a proctologist. Darn you, preview button!
  • Cookie Monster used to spit a lot more crumbs when I was a kid than he does now. I wonder if parents complained or something. Also, I loved when he thought the telephone receiver was two chocolate cuppy-cakes. What is your favorite word? Tomb. What is your least favorite word? Actually What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? A good night's sleep. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Secrets. What sound or noise do you love? Cat purring. What sound or noise do you hate? A shrieking toddler. What is your favorite curse word? Crud. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Costume designer. What profession would you not like to do? Cook. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "I never would have endorsed half the stuff people did in my name."
  • That was my show! Hooray! We actually have a listener! (and it's MCT, which is even cooler!) Send money for show plug kthx
  • Also: What is your favorite word? Brobdingnagian. Never get to use it. Say it with me. What is your least favorite word? It's a toss-up between "synergy" and "prosumer." Both make me want to punch. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? A good view, a dark place, or a good conspiracy. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Piped-in music. Can't escape it. Smash. What sound or noise do you love? Cliche, but my son's laugh. I would stab you if it would make him laugh. What sound or noise do you hate? My son crying in pain. What is your favorite curse word? Trash heap shit dog. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Writer. *sigh* What profession would you not like to do? Most anything involving customer service. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Everyone's here.
  • My would-be roommate for my second year of law school (he failed out) wanted the three of us to get a Rottweiler as a house dog. We debated at length over the name, only to ultimately decide upon Brobdingnagian. Alas, the dog was never acquired.
  • What is your favorite word? Yes. What is your least favorite word? No. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Bob Dylan What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Television commercials. What sound or noise do you love? birds, frogs, etc. What sound or noise do you hate? Television in the background. What is your favorite curse word? Shitbiscuits. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Talkshow host What profession would you not like to do? Gay hooker. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You thought those were orgasms?
  • What is your favorite word? Onomatopoeia What is your least favorite word? Incentivize What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Fire What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Dissimulation What sound or noise do you love? Water on water. What sound or noise do you hate? Metal on metal. What is your favorite curse word? Bollix What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Sommelier What profession would you not like to do? Priest If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I've been keeping your seat warm for you.
  • What is your favorite word? Luminous What is your least favorite word? Monetize. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? The wonders of nature. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Greed. What sound or noise do you love? Waves on a shore. What sound or noise do you hate? Traffic. What is your favorite curse word? Bullshit. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Sculptor. What profession would you not like to do? Retail. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Wanna beer?
  • What is your favorite word? Linger What is your least favorite word? Webinar What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Genuine sentimentality What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Crass sentimentality What sound or noise do you love? purring kittens What sound or noise do you hate? loud music What is your favorite curse word? fuckknuckle What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? restaurant critic What profession would you not like to do? anything Mike Rowe has tried on "Dirty Jobs" If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Gotcha!
  • What is your favorite word? limned What is your least favorite word? pedagogy (I don't know how to say it, having mostly seen it written, and lately I have had need to say it.) What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Being part of something greater and inspiring (ramble: I just came back from an overnight stay on a marae where 60 of us performed a welcoming haka, and the power of it was absolutely mindblowing in that exact way.) What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Chaos What sound or noise do you love? Happy children What sound or noise do you hate? Nails, blackboard What is your favorite curse word? Bollocks. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Archaeology What profession would you not like to do? Retail. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Eh, close enough.
  • What is your favorite word? - Yes. What is your least favorite word? - buttocks What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? - commitment and enthusiasm What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? - artifice and pretense What sound or noise do you love? - the purring of my kitties and my Mini What sound or noise do you hate? - the one that wakes me up too early, especially unattended car alarms What is your favorite curse word? - assnozzle What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? - teen heart throb What profession would you not like to do? - celebutante If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? - Well, since you're here...
  • oh- second favorite word: defenestrate
  • What is your favorite word? Whimsy What is your least favorite word? Benchmark What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Being around creative people What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Arrogance and egoism What sound or noise do you love? Applause What sound or noise do you hate? Any sound of fear or distress What is your favorite curse word? Fuck, wank, hell, bollocks - and any combination of the above What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Bartender What profession would you not like to do? Accountant If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Everything's going to be OK.
  • What is your favorite word? Payday What is your least favorite word? Framework What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Laughter What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Pretentiousness What sound or noise do you love? Cicadas What sound or noise do you hate? Any crying baby, but especially my own What is your favorite curse word? Kiss my ass. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Big Band singer or old-school burlesque dancer What profession would you not like to do? Telemarketing If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? We've unplugged all the alarm clocks in your suite.
  • What is your favorite word? Implement What is your least favorite word? Burglarize What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Music, Painting What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Lame excuses What sound or noise do you love? Laughter What sound or noise do you hate? Squealing tires What is your favorite curse word? fuck What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Artist What profession would you not like to do? Sales If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You'll understand everything now.
  • Also, speedlime's job.
  • Second favourite word: plinth.
  • What is your favorite word? bucket What is your least favorite word? temblor What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? art, music, creative people What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? banal details What sound or noise do you love? thunder What sound or noise do you hate? country music What is your favorite curse word? fuck What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? artist What profession would you not like to do? school cafeteria lady If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? the party just started!
  • What is your favorite word? Spork. What is your least favorite word? Proactive. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? My wife (duh), on all 3 counts What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Lack of intellectual curiosity and/or obstinate refusal to consider other viewpoints What sound or noise do you love? Purring kitties seem to be popular, so I'll go with the not-really-silent-but-awesome-silence of nature, sans people who don't get that the silence is its own reward. What sound or noise do you hate? The insistent chirp of a Nextel, and the idiots who think that we all need to hear their entire conversation via the two-way radio feature. What is your favorite curse word? Motherfucker. Gotta go with the classics on that one. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Independently wealthy jet-setter. What profession would you not like to do? Factory wage slave or faceless cubicle drone. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "We let Darwin and Dawkins in, just to piss off the fundamentalists."
  • Ooh! Ooh! Know what sound I REALLY REALLY hate? That really loud inhalation some singers/radio broadcasters/other random public speakers do at the beginning of every. Freaking. Phrase. Tori Amos does it. And this guy. Crying babies hit me in the gut, but this just sends me completely over the edge.
  • Alexander's crimes were most egregious; He stole the gnomon from the old sundial. Of lemons, limes, and grapefruits he would thieve us, And in Grant's Tomb he'd lay them in a pile. Brobdingnagian was hs taste for vice. Oh, yes, he'd cheat, and lie, and steal, and cuss; His onomatopoeias weren't nice. His soul was rather less than luminous. He'd linger every night in seedy dives With naked ladies limned on the wall. Yes, he was a turkey that was jive, And whimsy touched his black heart not at all. When payday came in Buffalo, New York, He'd beat the workers with blunt implements, Then fill his bucket with their bucks and cents, Before he poked their eyes out with a spork.
  • ((( for TUM!!! *applauds heartily*
  • Oooooooooooooh, TUM!
  • Excellent!
  • the Nookie Monster?
  • Na. Sorry. Cookie monster is now politically correct and a good model of restraint for youngsters. Poor kids shall never know the omm nom nom and crumbs that so delighted us.