March 18, 2004

Armor Clad  Live Monkey Firing Range "...numerous studies have shown that monkeys exposed to life-threatening bursts of adrenaline on a daily basis actually live longer compared to those monkeys cooped up in zoos. Not only will the monkeys have a great time roaming free in a field of gunfire, but the citizens of Alameda, who have been victims of a monkey attack will have an opportunity to seek vengeance in a healthy, life-preserving manner...."
posted by squidranch 20 years ago
  • this appears to be serious. someone contradict me please.
  • It's twue! It's twue!
  • "According to an independent survey, over a half-dozen people living in Alameda have experienced a monkey attack within the past twenty years."
  • Well, there's nothing in Google about it, and calling information for Alameda, CA reveals that they have no listing for a Bad Monkey Ranch. If it's real, he's doing an awfully good job of hiding his existence.