February 01, 2008

Where Did All Those Gorgeous Russians Come From?
posted by some wander by mistake 16 years ago
  • Well, a mummy and a daddy Russian, who love each other very much...
  • Wait -- there was no answer in that article at all. "Where they always were, we just didn't notice." Well, no shit. How did they turn up in those drawing rooms?
  • Colonel Mustard, with the candlestick.
  • Wait, Miss Scarlet was a Red?
  • Strangely, I'm re-reading Crime and Punishment right now, and for some reason I picture Sonia as portrayed by Maria Sharapova. Her crazy stepmom, of course, is Martina Navratilova.
  • Wait, Miss Scarlet was a Red? Yes, it did come as a surprise to many people, but it's now very well established. According to the Mitrokhin Archive, Miss Scarlet was recruited by the NKVD after befriending a young Soviet diplomat at an embassy function in Paris. Subsequently, she was instructed by her handler to cut all ties to left-wing organisations, and align herself publicly with Fascist causes. In fact, prior to her recruitment, there is no evidence that Scarlett had any ties to the political left at all, and historians suspect that her principle attraction to the Russians was one of the excitement of international espionage and, of course, the substantial salary with which they could provide her after the disgrace and untimely death of her father, Sir Digby Scarlet. In August of 1935, after her highly publicised trip to Italy, in which she was romantically linked to several top officials of Mussolini's government, Scarlet took a train to Eastern Rumania. There, it now appears, she met her NKVD handlers who took her to Moscow for a six week intensive training course in 'wet' operations, namely the art of political assassination. Upon her return to London, Scarlet struck up a relationship with Mr V A Bodiiskov, know to his old school chums as 'Body'. Bodiiskov was the British educated son of the famous White Russian general, and a major proponent of the anti-Soviet cause in the UK. Scarlet was present at his country house when Bodiiskov was found dead and she famously fell under suspicion, as did several other people there. However, the weapon she used in the operation (a light-weight pistol concealed in a cigarette case) was nether found nor considered by the investigators.
  • But...but the file! The FILE!
  • Well, a mummy and a daddy Russian, who love each other very much... I, for one, hope the Russians love their children, too.  
  • From inside larger Russians, which are themselves found in even larger Russians, etc. My mom's friend had a Russian nanny. Oh man was she hot! Very nice, very hot.
  • And for those of you who think Chess players are a bunch of nerds...well, we are- but that's not the point- the point is that some of us are hot nerds. Click, scroll down 2/3rds of the page and be thusly enlightened: hot Russky chess chicks
  • That's bordering on the pawnographic, kamus.
  • Still, roryk, it's worth a rook.
  • It had me polishing the Bishop when I saw it first
  • *is board of puns, checks out*
  • Capn_Marrrrk ftw.
  • She had me opening with a Queen's Indian defense... IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, AMIRITE?!?!?!?!?!
  • Я бы взрыва эти суки так трудно их cheburaskas бы из plop.
  • о чем Вы говорите?
  • да действительно.
  • Martina Navratilova winked at me while I was waiting on her. True story. This happened only 8 months ago, but who's counting?
  • Should have gone for it.
  • хорошее О'КЕЙО, я угадываю.
  • Glad I totally wasted those years of Russian in college. Thanks a lot, brain.
  • Don't feel too bad Lara, I'm using a lame-o translation program- I don't know fig one about Russian and furthermore I haven't a clue what Comrade Abuse is saying unless it's "4 would explode these boughs so difficultly them cheburaskas from plop?.
  • My goodness, that was a stupid article. Not a bad FPP, just a bad article.
  • Older article asking the same question.
  • Monkeyfilter: 4 would explode these boughs so difficultly them cheburaskas from plop.
  • It was communism; Soviet Man (and Woman! /Life of Brian) naturally had more beautiful children than the decadent West. Sadly, now that's all fallen apart, the coming generation will be as ugly as the rest of us.
  • MonkeyFilter: the coming generation will be as ugly as the rest of us *pouts Plegs got the good one