January 30, 2008

Curious George and his lawn darts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course they're dangerous. But you knew that, and it's not like you played Catch. Assuming you're not subject to a ban -- though you can still buy dart parts (*wink wink*) or buy them legally, or even still have them in the basement -- would you ever play with lawn darts again? Would you let your kids?
posted by Capt. Renault 16 years ago
  • Someone could put an eye out with those things!! Sorry, but speaking as your GramMa, it had to be documented. Now we can proceed with the post.
  • Of course. They are as dangerous as horseshoes.
  • psssst... you're supposed to take 'em off the horse before you play with 'em
  • Well, a bit more dangerous than horseshoes. Horseshoes don't pierce the skull.
  • My youthful attempt to win the Darwin Award happened not with simple lawn darts, but with an archery set. Bored with sending arrows hurtling toward a straw-bale target, my friends and I discovered that it was much more fun to point the bow straight-up-skyward and release the arrow. How we marveled at the fact that we all lost sight or the arrow! How we felt suspense in wondering where it would land! Would it be in my back yard, or the neighbors? Oh, look, the wind blew it all the way over to Mr. Revers' yard! Oh! Now THAT one landed right near us! Our game ended when an arrow embedded itself atop Mr. Hallmeyer's roof, and he was not amused. Thankfully, we all survived both the game and the punishment for playing it.
  • How we marveled at the fact that we all lost sight or the arrow! How we marveled at the fact that we all lost sight or the arrow! There, fixed that for you. Yeah, kids are stupid that way.
  • craps! or FROM
  • would you ever play with lawn darts again? I have. Would you let your kids? I have. Like anything else, they're fine when supervised.
  • There must be some danger in childhood. When I could get away from my neurotically over-protective mum, I used to climb huge trees, scramble over roofs, ride horses bareback, have conker-throwing battles, ride madly thru lanes on my grifter in the days before bike helmets. My insecurities came from over-protection, my allergies from being kept away from dirt. My strengths have come from fun and minor risk taking. I don't believe in over-protecting kids. Turns 'em into insecure adults. Just keep your eyes on them & know where they are at all times. Over protection is no substitute for unconditional love.
  • Have to agree there. Kids these days hurt themselves so rarely that when they do it's a big friggin' deal (adults' overreactions don't help). They don't know how to brush the dirt out of a skinned knee and get back on their bike...instead they go running home to mommy in tears for some coddling. I hate to see what kind of adults we're creating.
  • Ralph, now you have to be buried on Mr. Hallmeyer's roof.
  • At least you're qualified to represent yourself at any ensuing trial, so legal fees shouldn't be a problem.
  • Like anything else, they're fine when supervised. Right. But the quality of the supervision is what makes the difference. I've played darts (not the lawn kind, the round-segmented-target-on-the-wall kind) since a kid, often with other young people, and never had an accident. While I've heard and known second-hand of friends and family where kids had a nasty eye injuries with some classmate's thrown pencil and the like.
  • The parks in Hawai'i have had all the swings removed from the swing sets. It's sad.
  • That's ridiculous. We used to get up a head of steam on the swings, get really high, then jump off and fly thru the air, sometimes come down heavily. WTF. We could easily have broken limbs doing that, but I think I strengthened my knees & ankles doing it, which is a good thing. Kids have to have the freedom to take risks. It's part of growing up.
  • I have never ever heard of lawn darts before. They sound pretty good though
  • I recall vividly in first grade falling from the top step of the slide, hitting my chin on a lower step, and opening up a gash that would later require 5 stitches. My thoughts when in the principal's office awaiting my parents to arrive: I was upset that I would miss the rest of the school day. The pain was not an issue. Mofi ladies, I am the Werzog of your dreams.
  • I remember something similar to this children's game with knives being advocated in some old scouting book we had in the house. More innocent times!
  • Split the Kipper is so the name of my next alt-country indie band.
  • To be fair, bernockle, that was like, YEARS ago. And I have more posts, and by cooler people. Suck it.
  • And I have more posts, and by cooler people. My post features comments by beeswacky.
  • That quitter?
  • Show me one kid that has actually "put his eye out" and i'll throw away my lawn darts and bb guns!
  • I broke my foot jumping off a trampoline, and no bugger thought to ban trampolines because of it. No fair.
  • MonkeyFilter: I have more posts, and by cooler people
  • I played hours of 'split the kipper' as a kid. Good times! One time I was playing darts (indoor) with my sister and she felt I was hogging turns (I probably was). To stop me she stood in front of the dartboard. I knew I couldn't just throw the dart as normal because it might get her in the face. So I threw it gently so that it would land in front of her and give her a bit of a scare. We were both pretty shocked to see it sticking from her foot. It didn't pin her foot to the floor though, she left it in as evidence as she hobbled off screaming to find mother. "She shouldn't have been standing in front of the dartboard", didn't go down well as a defence.
  • Show me one kid that has actually "put his eye out" and i'll throw away my lawn darts and bb guns! Hey, my link up above featured a girl whose skull was punctured by lawn-darts! And then got all infected and they made it part of the medical literature. That's better than any boring old eye-shot-out clap trap.
  • So I threw it gently so that it would land in front of her and give her a bit of a scare. Dumb trick to try with darts: as player is at the board removing his/her shots, unscrew tip half from dart and throw the talifin half softly at their back while saying, 'OOOppps, sorry!! Watch it!' Dangers are that player dislocates neck by trying to avoid dart or dislocates YOUR jaw with fist. So, children, do as I say and not as I do.
  • "Split the kipper" is apparently an old variation on mumblety-peg, but it sounds like some annoying euphemism for an entirely different line of games. Or is that just a hormonal surge speaking (or hearing)? My mother had a scar from an old mumblety-peg injury. Really. For some reason she never did adequately explain to me how to play the game.
  • I'm sure we never mentioned kippers in the version we played - that would be the sort of thing you remember.
  • Mumblety Peg is now totally going to be the name of the kind-yet-earthy grandmother figure in my next Dickensian novel. Also starring raggedy young street urchins throwing sharp pointy things at each other, then growing up to become responsible members of society.
  • We called it "splits": I thought it was because the object was to make the other player do the splits. Well, ideally, fail to do the splits and keel over with a groin injury.
  • From here: In 1998, more than 91,000 children and adolescents ages 5 to 14 were treated in hospital emergency rooms for baseball-related injuries, and nearly 26,000 children and adolescents ages 5 to 14 were treated for softball-related injuries. Baseball also has the highest fatality rate among sports for children and adolescents ages 5 to 14, with three to four persons dying from baseball injuries each year. And yet they don't ban baseball.
  • "The current world champion of mumblety peg is Warrent Officer Funk Master Flex, a self-proclaimed "dreamer" who defeated defending champion Oscar Wilde for the title at the premiere of 2006's "The Wicker Man". Both men suffered minor lacerations from the contest." God, I love Wikipedia.
  • We played a ton of Jarts (is that a brand name of lawn darts, or the name of the game?) in grad school... usually when we were a bit tipsy. No one ever got hurt except for one pint glass that got broken when a shot miraculously landed in it. We tried to replicate the shot for the rest of the day, to no avail. I figure if drunken grad students don't get hurt, you probably have to be aggressively silly about how you play for things to go badly wrong.
  • I am in direct communique with a Scotsman who travels the UK extensively. He hopefully will find me a set and ship them via cargo ship. Then, watch out little children, I'm coming for you.
  • In other news, if you toss Buicks at a person, you could be killed. Bannination of vehicles imminent, since children are driving cars left and right even though there are giant stickers on cars that say "No, no children. No play with cars. Cars bad."
  • Mofi ladies, I am the Werzog of your dreams. Werzog wouldn't mind ditching school. He doesn't need anyone to teach him anything!
  • rocket88 wrote: " And yet they don't ban baseball." Yet.
  • At least put a sticker on its' side: 'Warning, this sport contains drugs hazardous to the human body'
  • In 1998, more than 91,000 children...were treated in hospital emergency rooms for baseball-related injuries... If those kids didn't have an eye out, or punctured torsos, or extremities missing from playing lawn darts, they would have been able to avoid those baseballs! Lawn darts are eeeeeevil!! Please think of the children pets! Don't let your fluffywuffkins play with lawn darts. --->>:(
  • My mother had a trump card every time the subject of dangerous play came up; she watched a schoolmate die in a playground accident when she was a girl. Of course, that didn;t stop my cousin and me from "playing golf" with old aluminum pipes. Luckily the scar is hidden by my nasal-labial fold.
  • You can fold your what in the where now?
  • *chokes on coffee*
  • Dear internets, Thank you for The Underpants Monster. Love, everyone.
  • /belly laugh
  • Nice facial.