January 28, 2008

• In that case I'm Merlin the bleedin' Magician. Canadians are being infected by proximity to the crazy Yanks. I LIKE THE JUNK IN HER TRUNK!
• Hank, you need a kiss!
• Burn her! There's a Miss Canada Plus?
• I need a little bit more than that!
• I hereby grant Toronto honorary status as a Texas city.
• "We just got her bio a week ago and we don't agree with it," said Karen Murray, Miss Toronto Tourism pageant director. "We want someone down to earth, not someone into the dark side or the occult." "Yeah, we want someone down to earth. You know, someone who believes that a wafer turns into the flesh of a 2,000-year-old rabbi when you put it in your mouth." "Well, we did do the nose."
• Ah, Plus as in plus-sized. At first, I assumed that Miss Canada Plus meant that you could apply if you were Canada-adjacent. Like, it's cool if you're from Greenland and pretty and can yodel while twirling a baton and whatnot.
• Naturally I feel that the pageant director is a wackjob fundy who should be imprisoned, but Miss Conover isn't helping her case much when she says: To say I'm not of upright character, it's blasphemous!
• I notice that the tarot is listed in her bio at the MCPP web site. Nobody looked at that before they invited her?
• We don't "agree with" her bio? We don't agree with her choice of hobbies? OK. But "We don't agree with her bio"? Moron. Last I checked, people's bios were not up for debate. As to the rest of it, I'm flabbergasted. But I'm not surprised about the woman's vast misunderstanding of tarot. It's true that several modern decks have origins in mystical societies of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, but the tarot itself has pretty solidly secular-Catholic roots and isn't inherently more "evil" than a deck of playing cards.
• She should have seen this coming.
• 
• OMG, THERE'S A WHOLE DECK!
• SCORE TUM!
• So does this mean if you're dumb enough to take the tarot seriously, then you're too dumb to be a beauty queen? I would have thought it was the other way around, but then I don't do baton twirling. meow
• She turned me into a newt! I got better
• It's a fair cop.
• The Miss Canada Plus site has the 2005 pageant as the first menu item. What year is it in Canada?
• 1647, obviously.
• Hey! I'm offended that they discriminate against Wicca and other (historically inaccurate, but still completely valid) pagan religions. But then again, since many Wicca practitioners are also pretty feminist, I don't supose they are worried about a large Wicca/Wicca-friendly -Beauty pagent watching overlap. I grew up in Toronto, and had no idea we had any beauty pagents in the city. Apparently this "Toronto tourism" one was just invented by some woman in 1999. Maybe I should start my own beauty pagent...
• Can I enter? Um, the pageant, that is...
• Whole new meaning to "Miss Liverpool Plus".
• I'll show you my Menlove Avenue if you're good.
• *reads TUM's link and pukes*
• I would bang all these women so hard their kidneys would plop out.
• The letter went on to quote a couple of passages from the Bible, including one from the book of Leviticus that warns, "Do not turn to mediums or seek out spirits for you will be defiled by them." Damn hypocrites. Show me the verse where Teh Bibul says it's A-OK to parade women live livestock for the ogling enjoyment of men.
• That's pretty much all thru the bible, actually, Flaggers.
• I would bang all these women so hard their kidneys would plop out. Bored today? Not okay.
• Oh come on!
• What, that was a joke? Jeez.
• Sucked.
• "Oh come on?" You think that a comment like I would bang all these women so hard their kidneys would plop out is acceptable discourse? Not from anyone, even you.
• Acceptable discourse, no. Acceptable intercourse, maybe.
• Moving on.
• I wonder what she did for her talent competition. If she could, like, summon ectoplasm and stuff onstage it'd be pretty cool
• I thought Hank's comment was quite funny. But then again, I lurk on Popbitch and read worse before breakfast. Maybe we should have a 'popbitch' thread where we can be as rude as we like...
• What about swimwear for witches? Given that they float, there's a whole other range of fabrics that could be worth trying.
• Witches in Bikinis.
• Lead britches for witches, to protect them from snitches. Sink in the lake, don't burn at the stake!
• )))) Koko!
• So, PA, you can tell a witch by the fakey dyed hair? I'm confused.
• I dunno... I currently have fakey dyed hair (fire engine red!), and as of yet no magical abilities. Darn it.
• If I dye my hair, can I get the power to turn my boss into a frog?
• Yes. Yes you can. But don't go tellin' everyone. The hair dye ritual is... secret.
• Dyed hair on a woman can sometimes turn the sanest men into slobbering fools, so it's worth a try. YMMV.
• Hmmm....
• ...the sanest men into slobbering fools... It's magic! Meredithea, according to what Flags and PA are saying, you may soon be getting your hands on a "wand".
• GramMa! Go stand in the corner with Hank.
• Oh no. I wouldn't do that. Trust me.
• I've always wanted to have the power to turn a man into a frog! 15 years of letting that red dye soak into my brain, but still...no frogs!
• I've got red hair and a frog.
• I've never heard it called that before...
• I heard it croak.
• Louise Huebner's "Seduction Through Witchcraft." Vinyl from 1969 with tons of useful tips. Ripped to the webs for your edificamacation.
• So, is there a Miss C++?
• I dunno, BlueHorse, that might upset Mr. meredithea ;) Well... unless it was his.