January 08, 2008

Fill-in the Blank Apology Form Thingy seen at Catercorner Bungits

posted by Hank Mabuse 16 years ago
  • I also apologise for calling it flash when it's not.
  • I haven't had a doctor apologise to me since that unpleasant incident with the industrial silicone down in Rio. Thanks Hank!
  • /refrains from obvious comment about pediatrician
  • I could really make use of that form in court. It might serve to speed up the whole judicial process.
  • My client pleads (Choose one:) Guilty/Not Guilty to assaulting the victim with (Choose one:)a taco/burrito/hot dog/Big Mac/Scooter Pie...
  • I'm sorry.
  • I feel nothing whatever concerning this post. 8[
  • You want an apology for this post?
  • Cheesburger!
  • or Cheeseburger... Somebody start a poll to get a preview button!
  • That form is insufficient. It only allows for 28 characters in the "my action of..." field. Therefore, I am unable to publicly apologize for not writing up a post about how Stephen Colbert totally dissed "Venture Brothers" (12/24 post, under heading "Grinch!") now that he's all famous and shit.
  • Venture Brothers is the best show ever, and Stephen Colbert is a sissypants
  • This will not Mabuse.
  • Mabuse it or lose it, baby.
  • I think this could be called a Mabuse of a good thing.
  • THAT'S NOT FUNNY
  • Self Mabuse.
  • Oscar™ Acceptance Speech Generator Wow. Oh boy. I wasn't going to prepare a speech, but my sisters and my cousins and my aunts told me I'd jinx myself if I didn't. So, thanks, Sparky! [Pause. Inhale deeply. Nod to Jack Nicholson.] I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank the sparkling, tall, well-worn actors I was nominated with. Just to be included in a group with you all is an honor. I'd like to thank my manager, Moses, my agent, Kevin, my stylist, and all the immensely talented people at Paramount, Harvey Weinstein, Swishy McHomo, and Carl Jung. I'd also like to thank my parents, who supported me through Measles. And Irving Thalberg, my one ... true ... love [gaze into audience]. Last, but certainly not least, we all just lost Mel Brooks, a truly inscouciant visionary and mega-awesome soul. [Begin tearing.] I'd like us to take a moment to ... No! Sweet Mothra!! Don't start playing that music, I have 14.73 more people to go! My editor Ed I. Tor, my accountant Abe Ackus, my lawyer Jack McCoy, and my personal assistant Percival A. Sextant, Josh at Esquillax Pictures. Brad Grey. When we started this project, expensive coffee was something no one wanted to talk about. victims of bad grammar, this is for you! Thank ... [Music swells.]