November 15, 2007

CG: Things To Do in Denver When You're Dead Bored Gonna be in Greeley, CO on a short-notice business trip Sunday afternoon through Tuesday morning. I need tips on stuff to do in either Denver or Boulder, and if there are monkeys in either city, I would like to offer you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to buy me alcohol.

Tentative itinerary has me flying into Denver at about 4:00 pm on Sunday afternoon and flying out at about 10:20 on Tuesday morning. Needless to say, I'll have time to kill Sunday and Monday night. My laptop fund is not such that I can afford an actual laptop, so I'll be unplugged when I'm not in the office. First off, any monkeys in either Boulder or Denver who'd like to meet for beers and inappropriately long stares? I know of none, but I hope to be surprised here. Barring that, does anybody know of anything worth doing whilst in either Denver or Boulder (I ain't picky, I'm actually staying in Greeley, but I've seen cows before, and I'll have a car)? Anything preferable to hotel porn, I mean. Restaurant/bar suggestions also very much needed kthx.

  • Well, the Coors Brewery in Golden is well worth checking out, plus there's free beer at the end of the tour. I haven't done much else there.. the area is really spread out and several times I've given up trying to find places that would deliver dinner. Admittedly when up there on business I've just zoned out in my hotel room and counted down the hours until my flight leaves.
  • Nine out of ten dentists agree Coors is not beer. It's just Pee
  • You can climb (by car) that really tall mountain there that I cant remember the name of! We did it in the middle of the sumer and got hailed on, it was great!
  • Oh yeah... you're talking about Mount Evans. That was well worth it, the only downside being that it's 1 or 2 hours out of Denver each way. I think that's the highest spot in North America that you can get to without a strenuous climb... it's even higher than Pikes Peak.
  • The Coors tour is kinda fun, just don't drink the beer. real beer nearby however.
  • I was actually really pleasantly surprised by how much better the Coors products were when they're so fresh. But then that was 18 years ago, before microbrews were so readily available.
  • Mount Evans road is closed for the winter. I'm sure if you go to LoDo you will have a good time although you probably can't beat Boulder and the Pearl Street Mall. Check out Westword
  • New Belgium? Whee! *checks site* Ah, crap, tours are only Tuesday through Saturday. Horse nuts!
  • "Bull titty" is what I think you meant. At least that's what my old Texan grandpa would have said.
  • "Things To Do in Denver When You're Dead Bored" Come on, people, think! 1. Drive to Boulder. 2. Kidnap and then kill a 6-year-old beauty queen and frame the wealthy parents. 3. 4. Profit!
  • And read the welcome brochure carefully. It clearly states "Please Don't Lick the Toads"
  • Do the things, and have days...
  • I'm totally licking a toad. And I'm paying for the toad with the corporate card.
  • Funnily enough, our corporate cards have a specific stipulation that we're not allowed to buy live animals with them. Or radioactive material. Although this actually is a concern for some departments who do scientific research, the rest of us get a good giggle out of saying that we're off to buy irradiated rats when we're really getting stamps or something.
  • The long winter afternoons must simply fly by.
  • Um, the Nanomomojojo thread? Duh?! Those old giant threads are my retirement plan. 401H-dogg. Word.
  • Why do American square toilets suck compared to British ones?
  • Aaand totally the wrong thread! You can blame my cat Sam for that one. Really!
  • Bad Sam. Bad kitty!
  • I thought you were offering up philosophical conundrums to ponder in the wee off-hours of Mountain Time. Or, rather that Sam was.
  • I'm posting this comment from the plane on the ground in Amarillo, company laptop, cellular broadband card, FirefoxPortable, unmonitored internet. This means one thing: Plane pr0n! IRC's evidently somehow blocked, though, as is slashnet's site (it won't load, anyway) which sucks, so my 'fircing homies should know they will be missed. Jesus Christ, I'm glad I wasn't born seventy years ago. The things I'd have missed.
  • Yeah, god forbid you should have to read a book or something.
  • Quiet, Stinko! You're only jealous because I'm in a cowtown! Actually, travel weariness notwithstanding, I've had a pretty goddamn good day. Went downtown in Denver and ate some fish 'n' chips and a beer brewed in honor of Kurt Vonnegut at the Wynkoop Brewing Company based on the recommendation of a certain travel site that does not officially exist yet. I am now in a hotel room in Greeley that is, no exaggeration, orgy-ready. Thank God for corporate travel. I'm in a room three times larger than I need, and I'm watching Kong on a big screen plasma TV! It's a whole new world, where do I sign away my soul?
  • I've been racking my brain to remember why Greeley is significant. I think I've heard of it because a cattle farmer from there was interviewed in Fast Food Nation, or was it the chapter about the slaughterhouse?
  • Greeley is a huge cowtown, evidently. Stockyards, slaughterhouses, tanneries. I'm told Tuesday and Wednesday are "boiling days" here, which I'm very happy to be avoiding, smell-wise. It does confuse, me, though, how I'm sitting in such a swank hotel room in this town. Must be the cattle baron hangout or something. However, I did drive through some clouds of cow-stench that were positively stifling. Seriously, it wasn't that "hey, there's some cowshit nearby" highway stink, it was like being in the cow barn at the state fair, like standing RIGHT GODDAMN NEXT TO A COW. Only like forty cows with sweaty crotches and athlete's foot. And I've stood next to many cows in my life, so I know whereof I speak.
  • Yeah, I bet you feel right at home, Cletus.
  • Smells like your hair! *throws rock, runs away*
  • *readies OxyClean bath and clothespin*
  • *is going to get a big stanky hug first*
  • So I'm a skunk now?? *sprays, waddles under hedge*
  • *sprays, waddles under hedge* Just like Fatso!