March 17, 2004

• How? When? Why?
• Who? What? Where??
• Does any sense of self continue after the body dies? What causes nightmares? Why am I sitting here typing into this thing?
• 1. does god exist? 2. was christ his son? 3. why does ice cream have so many fucking calories?
• 1) Machu Picchu: what's with all those almost seamless megalithic walls ? 2) Are all those nosy aliens around, experimenting on people and scaring drunks with their lightshows, preparing an invasion, tending the livestock, marinating dinner? 3) Who shorted those airline stocks before 9/11?
• (FYI, Marie Celeste may be found here, mystery solved. you're welcome.)
• Nice one, SideDish. I was excited there for a moment.
• oh THAT marie celeste! THAT mystery is solved here. (caution: contains the phrase, "Ahoy! Pull up a bollard!")
• How do they get salt inside of peanuts that are still in their shells at the stadium?
• 1) How does the brain produce consciousness and self-awareness; or to ask it a different way, at what point in human evolution did this advance take place? (Sillier, subsidiary question: what does a partially evolved state of consciousness feel like?) 2) What did Fermat think his proof was? (And why didn't he get a bigger margin?) 3) What does he whisper in her ear at the end? Oh, and nothing much happened to the Mary Celeste. It was abandoned by its crew, probably in a squall. Most of the 'mysterious' stuff was invented by Arthur Conan Doyle. JFK was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald, although who was running Oswald at the time is somewhat less clear. The Egyptians built the pyramids using hoverboards, which remain buried in the desert following a pact between the CIA and a group of Nazi aliens who abducted Glen Miller because he knew about the secret prophecies hidden in War and Peace. Ta daa!!!
• What did Fermat think his proof was? Fermat had no proof, but was just pretending he did. A bloke told me down the pub.
• Flash, I don't know what Bob Harris whispered, but I would have said this.
• 1. What was there before the big bang? 2. Is there a true path to enlightement/the after life? 3. If/When will Matt ever open new user signups?
• WHAT. THE. FUCK. SOURCE?
• 1. Was there ever life on another planet? 2. Are there ghosts? 3. What's the deal with so MANY cockroaches?
• How are you today? What can I do to ensure world peace? Does she like me? Flashboy - you should work for the Weekly World News.
• 1. Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong? 2. Who left the cake out in the rain? 3. Why do birds sing like homosexuals?
• 3. Why do birds sing like homosexuals? Beer ----------> Keyboard (also giggles at dng and goetter. I'd actually forgotten about the infallibility of Bloke Down The Pub; perhaps someone should collate these questions and ask him next time they see him.)
• 1. What's the weather going to be like on every day for the next hundred years? 2. How can I unlock my hidden supper powers? 3. How many licks does it take to get to the center of IgnorantSlut?
• What's the next PowerBall going to be?
• 1) The IRA want a separate Ireland, ETA want a separate Basque state. Is there anything we could do that would stop Al Qa'ida blowing shit up? Do they have a particular cause they're fighting for, other than exploding infidels? 2) Will the development of cheap and effective hydrogen fuel cells come around any time soon, and if so, will it change the way we live drastically? 3) Just how do hit taps on beer pumps work?
• flash, were you talking about the Radiohead "Just" video? Because I'd totally be asking what he says at the end. And also: Why do birds suddenly appear? And when will the Big One hit California? And will it slide into the Pacific? And what will happen to George Clooney in such a scenario? That's more than three, but they're so silly they only count for half each.
• I can answer the last one: George Clooney will emerge covered in dust and somewhat ruffled, but otherwise completely unharmed; strange, considering the number of death-defying situations he was placed in. But he gets the girl.
• First I present SUPPER POWERS (and how to unleash them). Questions: (1) Why didn't anyone tell me genetics worked like this all along?!?! (2) Self Organization: Is the universe weird or what? (3) Therefore: Will we ever have a unified theory of biology (UTB)?
• 1. What is the most important question in the world? 2. Is your uh, is your wife interested in... photography, ay? 'Photographs, ay', he asked him knowlingly? 3. Do babies really taste of chicken?
• 1. What is the ultimate theory of everything? 2. Name every girl who has liked me, ever. 3. Exactly how many people on the planet right now could qualify as my "soul mate" ?
• Awwww. How sweet, Daniel.
• 1. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 2. Do I look fat in this? 3. Do I have to explain ALL my jokes?
• tracicle: It's a known fact that if The Big One happens to hit California, the rest of the U.S. will slide into the ocean and California will be left standing. And there's only one question that needs to be asked, and that is: What is your favorite color? Red. No, blue...waaaaaaaaaaa
• 1. What if Dylan had died and Hendrix had lived? 2. How did we get from dead matter to matter with a desire and ability to replicate itself? 3. Women?
• 1. Does God really talk to me? 2. Why do I sometimes feel like crap? 3. Heartless bastards sweet-talking scum Men?
• 1. What is your name? 2. What is your quest? 3. What is your favorite color? i'm so ashamed right now.
• In high school, we had a day each year when the seniors would post a comprehensive list of all their crushes on the wall of the student union. It's not really even for vanity's sake, I just want to know if/when someone on the street, or the stranger on the bus, etc., thought I was cute. The universe abhors this kind of missing information. I would gladly share my list if everyone else HAD to as well. Or were you commenting on my desire to know a final Unified Field Theory? Ooh... one more question, what did Einstein say on his deathbed?
• It has come to my attention that SOME of you have asked more than three questions. Can't you people read? WHAT? You mean that was one of my questions? Don't I get anymore? DAMN!
• I was talking about the soul mate stuff. And Einstein's last spoken words were (translated from the German) "Be a dear and wrap this speech up for me then get it to my publicist by tomorrow morning." Don't ask me how I know, just accept that I do.
• 1. Is death really the end of the line or do we continue on in some way?
  2. How did our univere come into existance?
  3. Poo flinging - yes or no?
  
• Daniel: No. Way. If I exposed who I have a crush on, I can kiss them goodbye (except not literally *sob*). My very excellent and close friendships with them are predicated partly on the fact that they feel I will never ever have a crush on them. Actually, my three top questions are: 1. Why do some people live in some weird reality where wrong is right and vice-versa? 2. Why are some people so bent on making sure other people never have any fun? 3. Will I ever be able to tell my mom what I really really feel without her going ballistic?
• 3. Will I ever be able to tell my mom what I really really feel without her going ballistic?
  Alnedra, I could ask the exact same question about my own mother...
• 1. Will work ever be abolished? 2. Will humans ever stop launching shity probes to my planet? 3. Can question 3 be given a negative answer?
• i would like to know why people always want to have answers to questions that have none. a metaphysical conundrum.
• 1. When am I going to die? 2. How can I not care when I'm going to die? 3. Why are you laughing? flashboy: we're better off not knowing. it'd only be disappointing. (you are talking about Lost in Translation, yes?) Oh, and, since nobody else has mentioned it, The Answer is... 42. Thanks and shut off the lights when you leave.
• mad_maenad: Hey, cool! Join the club. We can sit around and mope together. You know, it's a dang coincidence. I used to use the nick Maenad years ago for chats and online games :) but only cos my friends insisted I was psychotic. But I'm better now. Yes, I am.
• hum. if i was asking serious questions, id go for something like this: 1. exactly how and when did life originate on this planet? 2. can you give me a descendancy tree showing exactly how that original life form became all of the living things we have here today? 3. at what point in this tree did all of the qualities we assume humans have originally arise - i mean, in light of all other life, how different or special are we really? that would get to the root of the "is it really all just a collection of crazy random accidents?" question. but if i was going to go for less serious things, i'd probably want to know: 1. what do those easter island carvings say, anyway? 2. where did amelia earhart end up crashing? 3. pretty please give me detailed instructions (and all necessary technology) for the construction of my very own millenium falcon.
• "Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart? Really? You??"
• I am Mr. Rufus Gaba, the first son of Dodi Gaba, the most popular black farmer in Zimbabwe who was recently murdered in the land dispute in my country. Please can I trouble you for your personal bank account information and your credit card number?
• Am I the only one who snickers when I hear or read the word "manhole"?
• Mexican: I want to have the soulmate information quantified so I know what I'm getting into. If there are exactly 1-5 potential perfect mates in the entire world, the chances of me ever finding them are pretty slim, so I'll settle for less. But if it's more like 1000-2000, shit, I'd better go out more. Alnedra: But in Daniel-World everyone has to share the list, so it's no longer a disruptive issue if there is a crush-imbalance. People would get over it and move on, just as we always do. Extra information in any given situation can always help, even if we'd rather not have it. I dunno. Maybe it would be diasterous and we'd have to scrap it after the first year. Ooh. The Easter Island question is a good one.
• Daniel: I hate to be anti-Romantic, but I don't think there is such a thing as a "soulmate" and I believe you'll be much happier when/if you decide that number is 0. Too many people I know have found their "soul mates" only to decide later that oops! they were wrong and had to leave to find their "real" soul mate, instead of trying to solve the problems that they'll find in any relationship that they happen to be a part of. Oh. And I have a crush on BlueHorse. *blush*
• I want a MoFi Crush Wall. Just so I can see if dng wants me. :(
• 1. Age? 2. Sex? 3. Location?
• certainsomeone1: You are truly the font of relationship wisdom. There is no Prince(ss) on a White Horse.
• 1.Before creating the heavens and the earth (us) what did God do for millions and milions of years? What was s/he God of? No--- really---I don't understand.
• caution live frogs and Daniel: "what do those easter island carvings say, anyway?" "Ooh. The Easter Island question is a good one." certainsome1 HAS the answer. Here it is: Thanks and shut off the lights when you leave.
• Rodgerd and Certainsome1: But you can certainly find someone pretty close.
• BlueHorse: Nice to know I have an answer to something *casually touches BlueHorse's shoulder in a not-overly-flirtatious way*
• I want a MoFi Crush Wall. Just so I can see if dng wants me. And I want to know if Blaise would be repulsed by that or not.
• 1. How come no-one has commented on my latest thread? 2. Is it because they all secretly hate me, and are plotting my demise, or is it just a lame post? 3. Will they see through this tawdry attempt to up my comment rate?
• 1. What is your favorite word? 2. What is your least favorite word? 3. What turns you on? 4. What turns you off? 5. What sound do you love? 6. What sound do you hate? 7. What is your favorite curse word? 8. What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt? 9. What profession would you not like to participate in? 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like God to say, when you arrive at the pearly gates?
• 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like God to say, when you arrive at the pearly gates? "I kept your chair warm, quidnunc."
• Blaise: The fallacies are believing that (a) there is only one such person (there are 6 billion people on the planet) and that (b) even the most perfectly compatible person will be some dreamy, seamless, effortless fit.
• Regarding soul mates, I believe they exist because I know people who are together, and are meant for each other. Now, as for the exact number, for me specifically, this may be zero, or several thousand. That's precisely what I want to know. This is more of a statistics question, than a relationship question. Yes, you need to work at all relationships and you can't turn down good things waiting for perfection, etc etc., but aren't you curious if there's someone you're supposed to be with? Mathmatically? There HAS to be a formula, whether or not we care to think of it in those terms. To rephrase, how many people can I sucessfully be happily ever after with? On average, how many dates will I need to go on before I find someone to marry? Etc.
• Maybe after all the misteries of the brain are solved up (we are expecting Gyan to inform us when that happens ;-) ), scientists can come up with some statistical formula to solve your question with an 80% error margin.
• 1. hey buddy, can you spare a dime? 2. got a light? 3. how 'bout them nicks? *kicks source of all knowledge in the balls and runs away giggling maniacally*
• You didn't get his wallet, quonset?
• ... and, therefore, the source of all knowledge has no balls.
• this thread has taken a disturbing turn . . .
• The disturbing turn was fortold.
• On average, how many dates will I need to go on before I find someone to marry? Zero
• That is because the source of all knowledge has boobs, zemat.
• Boobs *are* the source of all knowledge. hear hear! Hence the popularity of the SpaceKitty Bits.
• *curtsies, accepts bouquet, blows kisses*