October 19, 2007

Trick or Treat! and Stuff Yourself Sick: I-Mockery presents the Ultimate Guide to Halloween Candy, from Oozing Eyeballs to Gummi Ghouls to the infamous Box of Boogers.

You may have three pieces each.

  • I hate the commercialisation of halloween, for some of us it is a sacred festival.
  • Let's put the Hallow back in Halloween.
  • I'll take the light-up pumpkins, the frog-dissection, and the kiddie meth-lab kit. I'm a bit worried about Hallowe'en this year, as it's the first time that I'll be in a neighbourhood with actual kids around, and TONS of them. I'm really going to have to load up. So what to stock? I can't break the bank on this, and I refuse to hand out those awful rock-hard toffees that will only end up pelted against my windows. I'm thinking everyone gets good ol' Rockets, with some chocolate bars for the kids from my street. Any suggestions?
  • I used to fetishize the mini-reeses cups when I was a kid. Are they too expensive?
  • I thought anything peanut-related was now verboten..?
  • Oh. Ah, what's a few child-deaths?
  • Don't forget your Cthulhu Monkey disguise.
  • Dr. Zoidberg!
  • Awwww so cute!
  • Capt. Nix on the peanut stuff, but various little chocolate bars (Mounds, Almond Joy, KitKat, Mars, Milky Way, etc) are preferred by parents and GramMas stealing from their kid's bags.
  • I'm now in a neighborhood with no kids, and I miss it! I want your problem, Captain!
  • Chocolate covered coffee beans?
  • Last year, after years of living in neighbourhoods with no children, I was really looking forward to a horde of the little munchkins in my new neighbourhood.I like to give out those little chocolate bars too, and I probably had $50 worth of the things. But I still wasn't prepared for the onslaught, and had to whip out to the Safeway to restock. There wasn't much left, but I picked up a giant bag of Werthers'Original butterscotch candies from the bulk bins for less than $10, Captain. As to this peanuts issue, it had never occurred to me to worry about it. Call me crazy, but it seems to me that if your child has food allergies it might not be a good idea to let them go door to door accepting candy from strangers.
  • Yeah! All us apartment-dweller should descend on the Cap'n house this Halloween to hand out homemade cigarettes M&M's!
  • Chocolate covered coffee beans? FTW! PB: It might not be a good idea, but there are two types of parents: one is an idiot, the other can't deny Little Jimmy any part or parcel of the American Experience in growing up, and expects you to conform to the Peanut Party Line. If mine had had a peanut allergy, I'd probably have assumed the risk, have taken my kid T or Ting, but vetted the bag before they ate any. My risk. Not the givers.
  • Aren't all parents supposed to go through the bag and look for LSD and razor blades anyway? My mom went through mine. Of course, she also stole all the Zagnut bars...