October 17, 2007

The monkey he got drunk and sat on the elephant's trunk... I'm kind of fussy about my bananas and tend to throw away ones that have gone slightly spotty. Doing a bit of googling I came up with the following, *hic*, use for those over-ripe 'nanners.
  • Best post EVAR!
  • (yes, used pantyhose are fine) Mmh. I am intrigued but... ah, no. *chugs one more glass of Chartreuse sifted via monk's socks*
  • What? Only 3-4 months and I can drink rancid banana hooch drained through used pantyhose? Finally, the perfect beverage for watching minstrel tentacle pr0n!
  • Good find, Squiddy! Despite their dubious recipes, those WWR folks play some tasty music and they seem to be quite fond of monkeys in general.
  • I didn't see you filming us at that party, homunculus.
  • I am not to be trusted.
  • Couldn't I just pour malt likker on my Banana Nut Crunchâ„¢?
  • I was speaking to a client of mine in jail recently, and she had recently been placed in solitary for getting into a fight over the concoction that she had made. She took one of the garbage cans, put water in it, had all the inmates in her cell put their fruit in it, added the sugar packets they receive, and threw in bread from their sandwiches. After several days of waiting, she and her fellow inmates all got rather drunk. She told me that this drink is often made in a toilet when there is not a waterproof trash can available.
  • "What's that I'm tasting? Is that a hint of oakiness? "No, I had asparagus for lunch."
  • From the indispensable You Are Going To Prison by Jim Hogshire
    "Prison hooch can be made in your cell toilet (as long as you don't mind using other people's toilets or finding some other solution), or more often, in plastic trash bags. The recipe is simple: make a strong bag by double or triple-bagging some plastic trash bags and knotting the bottoms. Into this, pour warm water, some fruit or fruit juice, raisins or tomatoes, yeast, and as much sugar as you can get ahold of (or powdered drink mix). Now tie off the top of the bag, letting a tube of some kind protrude so the thing won't explode while it gives off carbon dioxide. Now hide the bag somewhere and wait at least three days. A week is enough.
    RECIPE FOR PRISON PRUNO (a poem) by Jarvis Jay Masters
  • Please tell me this woman was in prison for killing someone with a Gordito!
  • On the one hand, we have people taking perfectly good port and using it as an enema solution. On the other hand, we have people using the toilet to make something to drink. Can't we find a lemons-lemonade kind of answer here?
  • "What? Only 3-4 months and I can drink rancid banana hooch drained through used pantyhose?" It's all rancid hooch at one time or another. If you've ever been to a whiskey distillery, beer brewery or winery you'd see that all those fine expensive drinks are frightening swill in the earlier steps of their production. It's only after that nasty initial fermentation that the it turns into the finer stuff through either distillation, filtration or racking. On second though even after this stuff is finished, it's probably still rancid hooch.
  • Monkeyfilter: still rancid hooch
  • You know who else danced like that??
  • Michael Jackson?
  • whiskey distillery, beer brewery Or as I call them, whiskilleries and beerweries,
  • Michael Jackson? Noooooo . .