September 25, 2007

• "No Tours?" Sod that! I'm not plunking $300,000 down without having a good gawk first. Although, wouldn't it make a great Monkey Compound if we all chipped in? ;-)
• Does it have trapdoors and hidden rooms? I'm only buying if it has those things. And a shark tank. Gotta have a shark tank.
• Designed to withstand nuclear attack yet most of the others have water problems with water leaking in them. So they're filled with water or so wet there is terrible rust... "Sure" they'll withstand a direct hit! You betcha! Haven't others been turned into mushroom farms?
• Wasn't there a fortified bunker for sale out in Alberta, and the sale cancelled as soon as the Hell's Angels expressed interest?
• Do people in Alberta say they live "out in Alberta", or do they just say "in Alberta"? What makes Alberta "out"? No one ever says "out in Quebec". Oui?
• You'll never become one of us if you keep asking questions like that, Ralph.
• For the last time...it's up north, out west, down south, and back east (down east is also acceptable). "Out in Alberta" or "out to Alberta" is presumably from Ian Tyson's Four Strong Winds which should have been issued to you in your immigration kit along with the Stompin' Tom Connors album.
• Waterlogged and rusty. Mmh, no, thanks. I think I'll keep saving up for a nice London sub-sub-sub-basement. Now those must be bomb-proof.
• a bespoke chute covered in a special slippery paint *fans self, reaches for smelling salts*
• You missed the best part! One home in north London even has a bespoke chute covered in a special slippery paint, which enables the owner, who loves swimming first thing in the morning, but hates the fuss of dressing, to step out of bed and slide straight into the water a couple of storeys below. I MUST HAVE THIS.
• I'd tale the missile base.
• After reading about the St. Marylebone school expansion at bldgblog, I did a little more looking. Apparently, the school needed to expand, and could only do so by digging underground for a new gymnasium. They dug through an old church cemetery. I wonder, as land becomes a premium in such places, if we'll see more of this.
• Although, wouldn't it make a great Monkey Compound if we all chipped in? ;-) Can I have my own room, or do I have to share with TUM? *gives TUM the evil eye, starts putting tape down middle of floor DON'T put your stuff on my side!
• You'll have Mr. Whiskers hairing up all your stuff!
• ...a bespoke chute covered in a special slippery paint, which enables the owner, who loves swimming first thing in the morning, but hates the fuss of dressing, to step out of bed and slide straight into the water a couple of storeys below. I MUST HAVE THIS. Everybody who reads it wants that... but, and this stumps everybody: what about your first morning visit to the bathroom? Are you gonna risk peeing in your multimillion underground pool?
• Take a look at the seller's ebay feedback. I love the last comment on the page. Some poor sap must have bid 1.5 million dollars as a joke and been amazed to get negative feedback.
• Screw that, I'm buying Belgium.
• Are you gonna risk peeing in your multimillion underground pool? I'm going to insist on peeing in my multimillion underground pool.
• Hey, I'll go in halvsies on Belgium.
• Are you gonna risk peeing in your multimillion underground pool? Hell, he can always just pay somebody to drain the pool (upward), clean it and refill it. Money is no object.
• Titan Missile Base Ad NO JOKE!! The owner is The Incredible Hulk! No wonder he won't give tours. The place is probably all smashed up.
• Once I buy Iceland I'll be able to have cold tea any time I want, and nobody can kick me out of the hot tub. HA, suckers!