September 21, 2007

Passive-Aggressive Notes for Fun and Profit! "some of these notes are really more aggressive in tone, and some of them are more passive — polite, even — but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into written form rather than a direct confrontation. it’s barbed criticism disguised as something else — helpful advice, a funny joke, simple forgetfulness"

If this is a double, have fun. During my search, I realized we monkeys seem to love using the term "passive-aggressive".

posted by Lara 17 years ago
  • I'd like this post a lot more if you did the dishes more often.
  • If you sprinkle When you tinkle Be a sweetie Or I'll hunt *you* down and make you sit in a puddle of urine, bitch
  • Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and suggest that this might have been a double post? But I can't really find it right now, so...yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and let this one stand right now without actually calling it a double post, but I just wanted to let you know there's a chance that it could be or could have been? So if you'd just be a little more cautious about that in the future, that'd be great.
  • Your MOTHER doesn't post here!
  • Keep your opinions to yourself you @sshole.
  • Oh, I'm soooo sorry. You don't think that was meant for YOU, do you?
  • Could we all please clip our fingernails in the privacy of our own homes? Have a nice day!
  • Oh, and please feel free to take *yesterday's* newspaper into the cubicle; we like fresh news to be fresh. Smile!
  • If this were an office memo, it would say: Attention: "Everyone!" Could We "Please" Remember Not To "Heat Our Popcorn" In The Staffrom Microwave, Becauze The "Smell" Is "Terrible"!!!!!! Love from Marketing!!!!
  • My last day at this job, I'm gonna plaster a goddamned banner across the entire bank of breakroom microwaves that says ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN BURNT POPCORN ALREADY, YOU HALF-CONSCIOUS KNUCKLEDRAGGING FUCKWADS.
  • Eau de Burnt Popcorn in the break room is a universal constant.
  • This is an interesting blog.
  • You see, these are notes from people who are cheesed off. I have the misfortune, in the last couple of months, to have had the MOST passive-aggressive old bag stuck next to me in work. She gives it all the 'ooh, could you just help me with...' shit when what she really wants is for you to do all her fucking work, plus she's a fucking bully but hides it behind a pathetic facade of helplessness and victim-hood. She also believes that because of the pay-grade she's on, she shouldn't have to do her own photocopying / typing etc, and says so often. When she first arrived at MY desk space, she asked laughingly more than once if I'd do that stuff for her, be her 'PA' as she said. Well you can imagine the response that got. Plus, and this just puts the tin hat on it, she's got one of those annoying Lancashire accents, and says things like 'I don't know how for do it' when she fucking means 'how TO do it'. I FUCKING HATE HER!!!!!! AND SHE KNOWS IT!!!!! Passive-aggressive enough for you all?
  • Math.
  • The thing is, the sort of person who would take these little gems to heart isn't the sort of person likely to be leaving dirty dishes around or stinking up the microwave to begin with, is he? The best one I can remember in my personal experience is from my restaurant kitchen days when the day cook left some missive about floor cleaning (I can't even remember the point of the note) and closed with the immortal line, "On account of mop hed's arent cheap." I still get a giggle to this day.
  • If all of you would just check first to make sure your comments are interesting and/or entertaining it would make this blog a better place for us all, and that is something I am sure we all want.
  • But I don't know how FOR make interesting comments! *sad 'help me eyes'*
  • Well you can imagine the response that got. "Yes, ma'am! Right away! Fix you a cuppa while I'm at it?"
  • Everyone knows that passive-agressive office notes are much better when printed in comic sans.
  • I actually wrote out a "passive aggressive" comment, but I withheld it when I remembered that you all are a bunch of overly sensitive nabobs who take everything I say out of context. :)
  • Is a nabob the opposite of a yes-man?
  • I, unlike some of the people here, ... uh, help me out
  • Always start with "in the future" and end with "your mother doesn't work/live here". Classic. Oh, and a smiley at the end makes it all ok :)
  • Oh, and RTD FTW. thx
  • In the future, I'm sure that all of us will be "checking" first, especially Mr. Ralph Dog, and will be sure that our comments are "interesting" and "entertaining" enough for ALL of "us." Frankly, I'm sure that this is something we, and your mother, even though she doesn't work/live here, would want. After all, we wouldn't want to be "ASSHOLES" about posting, would we? :) xxxoxoooxxx
  • Someone took a bite out of my sandwich.
  • Well, really, leaving your sandwich out where others can bite it is a bit irresponsible. You need to learn to take better care of your belongings.
  • Well, rolypolyman "SOME" people are So entirely passive-aggressive they think other "BUSY" people should take time out of their day just to explain to them how to write a post. Those same selfish people actually expect others to write their posts FOR them! I'm asking you nicely, in the future, please do not park post in front of this building thread unless you pay rent here. And furthermore, do not park post in this space, as it is the one I customarily use. Remember, your mother does not park/rent post here. I appreciate all you do! ;) Quotes, caps, and winkies ;) are tantamount to passive-aggressive behavior, IMHO. And I don't care what your opinion is on the matter is