September 03, 2007
Make your own Rheopectic slime in less than 15 minutes
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This, of course, does not apply to the quidnunc kid, who exudes the stuff naturally from his skin*, like a freakin' hagfish.
*He actually sells it on Ebay to pay for his tanning-booth addiction
What is Rheopectic slime? Why, it is slime with the property of Rheopecty, you ignorant hoople-headed goat huffer. NOTE: this is NOT Oobleck. This is something completely different. Do not suggest that this is Oobleck to the creator of this how-to, unless you want to upset him. If you want Oobleck, then check this out. OK? In related news, men who ejaculate upwards of 21 times a month have a 33% lower lifetime risk of prostate cancer than the baseline group. This means I will never have prostate cancer, however, the ceiling is getting very sticky.
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*unzips*
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the ceiling is getting very sticky. Now that's "ejaculating upwards."
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21 times a month? I could maybe get down to that amount if I had thumbtacks grafted into the palms of my hands.
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Does that mean if you are de-boning the trout 63+ times per month your risk of cancer declines by 99%? between the finding that smoking weed reduces your risk from lung cancer from smoking cigarettes and now this, I consider myself to be living an exceedingly healthy lifestyle indeed!