August 16, 2007

Zombie Bruce Lee is coming back to kick somebody's ass. Sure, there are only, like, three plots in all of kung-fu filmdom and they must all be recycled sooner or later, but do they really need to remake Enter the Dragon?

You have offended my family and you have offended the Shaolin Temple...

posted by Capt. Renault 17 years ago
  • ooooOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHH! AAIIIEEEAAAAAooooooooo!
  • No they don't; they need to remake Return to the 36th Chamber and get rid of those goddamn teeth. Besides, my favorite Kung Fu movies usually feature some endeavor by Wong Fei Hung. Is there anything that he hasn't saved China from - besides the legend of Wong Fei Hung? Now if they remade Enter the Dragon and had Wong Fei Hung travel through time into 2055 and infiltrate some corrupt Shaolin Corporation cyborg space-monks who kick laser beams straight through your very soul, I'd be interested. Especially the second last fight paired his Ten Fist style against a Shaolin™ cyborg with ten fists and a buzz-saw cannon in the middle of his arachnoid thorax. Add a final battle with Western civilization personified as Socrates with an Uncle Sam hat, a superfluous monocle and razor sharp currency which he throws hither and thither like so much wasteful buckshot and I'd go opening night.
  • I'm a sucker for a good Wong Fei Hung story too.
  • I've never been much for Harry Potter. Now, Wong Fei Hung and the Deathly Hallows, on the other hand...
  • Even Wong Fei Hung is no match for the Lion's Roar.
  • I see your kung fu is as strong as mine!