August 13, 2007

• *adjusts binoculars* I -- I think that's a petebest..!
• Which one?
• Looks like a male. But timid.
• The idea that bananas have cleaning properties has been an urban legend since before the time of bananas. There is, however, a substance that can be extracted out of a certain kind of "banana" which does, indeed, have the ability to clean CDs. I speak, of course, of the owl "banana," and the fruity, cleansing substance that is its semen.
• Simply eat, wipe, and shine! I believe this was American Standard's tagline back in the 90s.
• Toothpaste (the regular, non-whitening paste kind) is good for repairing scratches that make CDs skip. Just wipe a bunch on, then rinse with clear water and a soft cloth.
• Digital media vs. bananalog?
• Scouring with a Brillo^TM pad is a very silly idea though kids. Tune in for another top tip tomorrow! Hey petes!
• Hi pete! Now, where'd fish tick go ....?
• But with what can I clean my dirty bananas?
• A VCR head cleaner. Although you have to use a grilled cheese sandwich for the VCR.
• You can also try toothpaste, chewing gum, and Brasso. Brasso appears to work the best. [via Lifehacker]
• does otter bile not work better than owl semen? what about a teaspoon of Daisy-May meme?
• ...After rubbing the peel on the CD, grab a blue cotton cloth. Rub the CD with the cloth, and claim it takes a few minutes to finish. Use a wipe fade to distract the kiddies whilst you switch the scratchy 'nanner CD for a clean shiny one. Spray with window cleaner and show off the CD. For more fun, make the claim that Ajax powder and a circular sander will do the job faster and better. Plenty of laughs will result from that little gem! Really, bananas are amazing. Are bananas radioactive? Are bananas death to Darwinism? (Caution: logical heads will asplode.) Where did bananas come from? Surely we all remember the Banana Guard, but did you know that they have competition? What about the Banana Museum? How do bananas get to you? Also, bananas can dance. They also make handy art projects (featuring a banana phone!). Banana phone? Yes, Bananaphone! Help a monkey find bananas. All in all, Bananas are handy. Goddammit. Now I want a banana, and all I have are these apples and pears.
• I am digesting a scrummy bananananana as we speak.
• Got that song in my head now, thanks. RINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGRINGPLEASEKILLMENOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....
• See MORE proof of Intelligent Design! Only GOD would have known about CDs all those centuries ago!
• It looked like even Kirk Cameron was ready to call bullshit on the holy banana.
• But with what can I clean my dirty bananas? Why, Monkey Time Banana Soap, of course! Hi Petes!
• MonkeyFilter: Simply eat, wipe, and shine!
• Yay!! It's petes! I be in Keeyoubeck, snarfing pooo-teen.
• Hey, I've missed you, Pete!! *puckers up old lady lips to give Pete a big GramMa kiss damn you, Queso! *shakes fist
• /smacks forehead I didn't even notice that it was pete who posted this delicious link. Awesome to see your name on the front page!
• Frogs! I am so ashamed of you! You know quite well that THIS should have been posted as NSFW or marked as being too explicit for all nasty little Monkeys under age 62! For the rest of you: This is NOT a sex toy, and do not attempt to put your banana in it. I'm talkin' to you fish tickles! And wipe that poutine off your face before you come kiss yer GramMa.
• Hear Xavier Cugat sing a song about Bananas
• Touch me where I wee, petes!
• I haven't eaten a banana in a long time.
• Why do my links never work?,,grr,worked last night.
• Hi GramMa! MMmwah! Hey A_C! Hey there islander! Kit, back up a step kthx, Koko you got my money? Howdy tickster!
• Damn, I missed the reception line. Hi pete(s).
• Hidley Ho Queserino!