August 06, 2007

Aliens not blamed! The The World's Only Reliable Newspaper, the one that over 25 years ago broke the story that Elvis is alive and was never afraid to cover the important Bat Boy stories the mainstream media ignored, has called it quits. I, for one, am madder than a porcupine stuck in a thorn bush
  • Oh, no! How will we know about aliens impregnating which movie stars?
  • I was under the impression it was ceasing print publication, but continuing online? It's definitely my preferred bathroom reading. I guess now I'll have to lug the laptop into the loo...
  • I understand that Rupert Murdoch plans to merge The Wall Street Journal with The Weekly World News. He plans to call it "The Wall Weekly Street World Journal News". Just rolls off your tongue, no?
  • A long time ago, 60 minutes or some such did a piece on these guys. They asked one of their writers: What's the rule here, anyway, when it comes to what you publish? The guy smiled wryly, and said "We only have one cardinal rule here: never question your way out of a good story." They always seemed, to me, to have a certain rough elegance about them after that.
  • I read in the WWSWJN that the aliens who shot JFK are making a killing on the stock market.
  • Damn aliens. Where's Lord Largemuscle when you really need him? His barristerial experience could really come in handy.
  • One of my proudest moments in college was being quoted in the Weekly World News. It saddens me that future generations will never know this simple joy.