July 27, 2007

• Audio is a MUST.
• mct linked to this in some thread recently. I was transfixed. I thought it was a new video by Shakira, but then I realized that those are consecutive images of various people's asses, rather than just the gyrations of one.
• It's like looking into the Utopian future. A future of clean and happy asses.
• Speaking as one that used this same contraption at my sister's house, I too am a happy ass. It works great. I'm gonna get one after my next payday.
• So... when that one lady says "We humans love water," do you get the feeling that she's pushing the "we" part a little bit hard? Like she's somehow trying to... convince us of her humanity? Cuz I do.
• squidranch, the device does indeed seem... I don't know, useful. But the marketing is kind of like those animatronic presidents at disney land, or those perfect 50s families in anti-communist propaganda. Like, if I used this thing, I would become one of them. Use the Washlet, nick, we all float down here...
• If you are looking to avoid the messiness of toilet paper and help the environment but don't have the money for the Washlet, you can always use condoms. A well positioned condom can make the feces come out in a neatly, tightly packaged piece of rubber that has no mess at all. Heck, you don't eve need a toilet for this method. And since we all know that condoms are re-usable, there is very little harm to the environment at all.
• Well, when you talk about things like this, people either get squeemish or start cracking wise. I guess it's a protection mechanism, a way to not actually address anything having to do with human elimination. As was pointed out to me by someone of East Indian extraction, in the West we just sort of smear stuff around with toilet paper, which grossed him out. Whereas in Asia they actually wash their bums after doing their business. This device just makes it easier to do so.
• *plays Mary Had a Little Lamb on that asschordion, again* Anyone knows other short tunes that can ne played on that limited note range?
• Besides, everyone knows that water doesn't cleanse nearly as efficiently as flame.
• In Soviet Russia, toilet pees on YOU!
• I just pooped :D
• MonkeyFilter: We just sort of smear stuff around with toilet paper.
• Details Medusa, we need details...
• It was a quite generic poop, nothing dramatic or noteworthy. sorry.
• Monkeyfilter: quite generic, nothing dramatic or noteworthy
• If you drink enough Pepsi Blue, you'll poop bluecicles.
• 1. Hasn't this sort of product been on sale in Japan for decades? 2. I think I hate Web 2.0
• I had a teacher once whose wife was from Pakistan. He told us that his wife's family was convinced that he and all westerners would go to hell, because they didn't wash their asses after using the loo. They told him that they, at least, would not face God with a dirty backside were they to suddenly die.
• What if you die in the middle of your shit...y'know,like Elvis?
• I briefly had a roommate from Pakistan. He apparently did not grasp the concept of wiping or washing the backside. I will spare the intertoobs of any further details.
• Just set it on "autowash" for a posthumously spiffy bunghole.
• HE'S STILL ALIVE! Um, but hypothetically, I guess you just go to hell and stuff.
• My arse is always sparkling clean. You can eat it out I mean eat out of it.
• Is that an invitation Hank?
• *smooch*
• Clearly, this is just ass-snorking. And kosher salt isn't enough, use peroxide or something.
• Is analingus kashrut?
• /consults Torah
• We've had these here in Japan for yeeeeeeears.
• Love the nonthreateningly diverse nonthreatening ethnicity of the talking heads. The one on the left's a Latina, right?
• I got as far as the lady telling us the intro, and then OH, GOD!!! SHE'S STARTING TO SIT ON IT!! BACK BUTTON!!! BACK BUTTON!!! That's when I stopped.
• That's when I usually start. heheh
• you know they make this great stuff called "rimming sugar" it's actual sugar (colored, flavored) for, well, putting around "the rim" to, well, sweeten it!
• Margarita enema anyone?
• I prefer mine salty.
• Medusa, you have much knowledge.
• Yes, Medusa, you are Queen of Too Much Information.
• She's clearly researching ways to improve the Medusarita.
• /prolapse
• Not that I would know from experience, but apparently you can get drunk from an alcoholic enema. Any port in a storm, as they say.
• Yeh, because the mucous membrane in your asstube absorbs the chemicals. Same for any narcotic, etc.
• Thank God for mucus membranes, huh?
• mucous
• Careful with that, though. People have died that way.
• I think I read that the Aztecs used some hallucinogen in precisely that way.
• It's also where the term "to ginger-up" came from. True. although it was from stuffing ginger up a horse's arse not a human's
• I think it's also where the phrase "shit faced" comes from.
• ...and the phrase "drunk from a tube up the bum."
• Wow. What if you had the flu. You're leaning over getting sick and that effing thing squirts you in the face. Hell, I'd break that mother off with my bare teeth. /possibly a littly testy with the Washlet clones...
• Never ask Hank where the term "7-Up" came from.
• ooh!
• I took Compazine suppositories during chemo; it was great 'cause you could have one of those up there and an Ativan under the tongue and you didn't have to try to swallow anything. Take that, you TMI squeamers! ;-)
• What happened to using baby wipes?
• I gather that sometimes they just don't cover the distance, if you catch my drif'. Maybe you're one of those blessed with an incorruptible quoit. Some people's culotte knots need more blot. Grok?
• regarding ginger, I have to tell you that it IS in fact used in human bums, "recreationally" [NOT MINE!!!] apparently it's quite a stimulating feeling! brought to you by the Queen Of TMI
• Medusa, could you please go watch TV or something (and don't tells us about it) *feels a bit squeamish about all this information
• No! More ass!
• I think we as a culture need to be more, not less, circumspect about what we put up/around our asses, recreationally speaking. Seems like there is nothing in this world a man could point to, that someone won't put it up their butt.
• Over cookies one morning, my former boss described to me his youthful dabblings with high doses of nutmeg as a recreationsl hallucinogen. I've never looked at rice pudding the same way since.
• Did he try putting it up his butt? Who'm I kidding, of course he did.
• Heehee, buttmeg.
• It's a morass of more ass.
• Put sassafras up your ass!
• Boogie in your butt