July 17, 2007
New Yorker Monkeys Caption Contest
You could actually enter, but it would probably be more fun to enter your caption in this thread.
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"Not quite up to standards for our Shakespeare Project, but there is an opening on the writing staff for "Two and a Half Men"...
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"Snape kills Dumbledore? Nooooo!"
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a sneak peek into Jayson Blair's interview
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" Isn't it time to stop ripping off other people's copyright?"
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"Look, this year we're completing NaNoWriMo whether you like it or not, OK?"
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John Grisham has all of his novels go through rigourous animal testing.
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Hi Pleg!
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"Christ, what an asshole!"
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"Sadly, Simeon never DID get sell his very promising screenplay for "The Planet of the Chimps".
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remove the "get" from the sentence above. Sheesh. I need an editor.
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rocket88: I believe "who farted?" is also a perpetual winner.
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PSA: there's a book out there, filled with cartoons rejected by the New Yorker, largely for reasons of being highly offensive. Laff riot. That is all.
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Newscorp Executive: (reading) "George Bush unveils bold new plan for victory in the War on Terror in Iraq." Yes, I think we can use this.
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"Yes, well, 'Lancelot Link' slash really isn't what the board had in mind..."
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Zookeeper Employee Reviews
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It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times???"
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To be or not to be. That is the Gazarneplehhhhh... Item five on this CD.
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"Stupid monkeys...if I find one more spelling error I'll loose my mind"
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Congressional aides finish drafting legislation which will heal America's health care woes.
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"Hmmm... Fairly impressive, but I've never been a fan of Science Fiction."
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"Captain Jack *is* the Face of Bo? Oh, why the hell not."
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"Dammit, Curious George, I'm Loosing My Mind!"
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Back off, BlueHorse!
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"I'll post this to Free Republic immediately."
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"Simeon", get it? I know wendell got it : )
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Oh please, you totally just retconned that typo into a pun.
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"I love what you've done with this scene, but you used 'frission' twice in the same paragraph."
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"Chillee's gonna want it to talk more about otter bile."
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"I thought there were three 'o's' in 'ook.'"
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"I understand that you're an artist, but must you smear feces on every page?"
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"What's with the smears?"
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DAMMIT!
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"Good work, doc, but is this really Nature material?"
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"'When Jane Goodall caught me in 1968 I was wild. Wild? I was absolutely livid...'"
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Wow, Captain, we totally had a mind-meld. That's so cool. Of course ,the fact that we thought-shared "smeared feces" is a little disturbing, but kind of what the internet is all about, really.
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"Management can probably go for the Dental Plan and COLA, but this bit about non-caged working conditions isn't going to fly."
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"No, I have no intention of putting these papers into the giant nipple clamp I am carrying under my arm."
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"I don't care if it IS Casual Friday - put some damn pants on!"
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"'Hamlet' is a little cliched, don't you think?"
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Murdock, I have some changes to this weeks headlines from Mr. Rove
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"I KNEW this would happen. It's 1 MILLION monkeys on 1 MILLION typewriters. Fuck Accounts Payable!"
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"Change 'war-torn jungle' to 'suburban Connecticut' and 'lion-eating Bili ape' to 'sexually insecure executive,' and I think I can sell it to the New Yorker."
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"Oh-oh, Curious George is having another of his gut-feelings about Al-Qaeda."
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"Just great. Another Tom Wolfe novel."
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"I read this on MetaFilter three weeks ago..."
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"When you stop brachiating and flinging your waste, you can have that iBook. Until then, you'll just have to make do with the Woodstock."
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"Bah, this is a fake, obviously created using Word. It's a matter of kerning."