July 04, 2007

A Different Type of Periodical Table Just in time for the Fourth of July and summertime grilling--Table of Condiments That Periodically Go Bad! As a note, we did not write the above table. We stole it from some weird day planner we saw somewhere back in 1997. We're not trying to get credit that's not ours. It was more of a tribute. Really.
It appeared in a mock calendar diary for 1997 and was produced by Potlatch (the paper company) under the title "365 Ben Days." The concept and design was by Dana Arnett, Ken Fox, Fletcher Martin and John Naresky of VSA Partners, Chicago.
posted by NuggetMaven 17 years ago
  • So what condiments do you think go best with NuggetMaven, guys?
  • Rt
  • Rotel?? Brilliant. But I thought peanut butter never went bad?
  • Rotten tomato.
  • Peanut butter can go bad, oh yes.
  • No expiration date for condoms. No expiration date for mints. And you call this a condiment chart? Even the lifespan of a Junior Mint would suffice.
  • Ketsup? And, Nutella: four months? No, sorry.
  • Potlatch Corp is strange. On the one hand, the pay well and provide lots of jobs, on the other hand, the area around Lewiston has a distinct fug to it, and the smoke doesn't get out of the valley, which means that you breath it in all the time. On the plus side your nose shuts down after a few minutes and you don't notice the smell anymore. A junior mint lasts forever. After the nuclear holocaust candy will be the main food group, with mutated radishes coming in a close second.
  • Vegemite does not make effective reactor shielding. It just tastes nastier after a couple thousand røentgens.
  • Yeah, they have this one posted at work in the lunchroom. If I went by those dates. .. well, my fridge and cupboards would be pretty bare. I think this table is either for paranoids, or a dark conspiracy by the condiment industry . . . . Vegemite/marmite goes bad? What the heck are they talking about? And sugar? Sugar is used as a preservative. Yeah, it might be clumpy after 2 years, but not bad. says the guy who does not believe that any dairy product has actually gone off until it is thouroughly fuzzy and/or curdled, damn the expiration dates. Also, is it already time for another vegemite lovers vs marmite lovers vs those weirdos who don't like either one fight?
  • No expiration date for condoms. What, they taste worse as they age?
  • Hey don't knock Rt or "ketsup," they both make a fine Prison Wine. Tho I've never had marmite nor vegemite, I'd think it would be a nice accompaniment to a fruit and cheese plate, what with the salty tangy funky yeasty thing it's got going.
  • MonkeyFilter: What['s] with the salty tangy funky yeasty thing it's got going?
  • Some of this stuff is true, but others... the lengthy period is basically the attempt to put a date on what is essentially a question mark. Many things that say "one year" or "two years" are fine for a long time, as long as they're stored properly and you don't notice a change in the color, flavor, or consistency. For example, I'm pretty sure sugar doesn't go bad after 2 years - it just tends to harden. The Real Simple website probably has something along these lines; it's a popular topic in women's/home magazines. (I just know someone is going to eat some 20-year-old sugar and get sick, and be all, But verbminx, you said it was OK!)