June 19, 2007

Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road. The Pope lays down Drivers' Ten Commandments.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm. So petting while driving is encouraged, but no oral...

posted by Capt. Renault 17 years ago
  • I glad they've finally amended this glaring oversight in the Bible. But until they publish the 10 Commandments of the Internet and start giving penances for violations, I'm adopting a wait-and-see attitude.
  • The last "pope" withdrew Vatican investments in VanCity Credit Union because they employed gays. This "one" doesn't even drive and yet throws down all the rules of the road like Moses when he met Andretti. Hey, what the fuck, I think I'll write some laws for housewives in Adelaide, seeing I've never been there.
  • And don't forget to throw in a prayer to St, Frances of Rome, patroness of motorists. I hear the Popemobile can double as a Zamboni. It'll come in handy when heck freezes over.
  • why can't the Pope do something about traffic?
  • mortal harm, Capt, not moral. So I guess you're OK on the plo chops as long as you don't get distracted and run over someone. Unh, Capt? Did you hear me? Yo! Capt Over here! keep that arsehole off the road *revokes Capt's license You shall not kill? So like, if someone rear-ends me and shoves me through a stop sign into a pedestrian and kills them, will I be the one to go to hell, or will my Heavenly Insurance Company determine the liable party? And what about the 4th commandment? You teen punks quit dissin' yo' mama when she tells you that you can't have the car! OK, since nobody else has said it, I'm gonna: Quick! To the popemobile!
  • ... 9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party. 10. Feel responsible toward others. 11. Mount da 24 inch chrome joints wit da spinnaz, and remember tru playaz do em in gold!
  • The church finally makes it to the industrial age. Let's hope by 2050 A.D., "Thou shalt not rely on technical legalese to get away with white-collar crime" is chiseled onto those stones.
  • Please, God, protect us from these.
  • 11. Mount da 24 inch chrome joints wit da spinnaz, and remember tru playaz do em in gold! Brothers and sisters, can I get a WOOO!
  • Es el Queso, I feel seasick just looking at those things. Works of Satan, I tell you! Beep Beep! Here come da Pope. 75 years of the Popemobile!
  • Here come da Pope I suddenly have a strange desire to put that in my Funk and Wagnalls.
  • Is that some kind of designer lederhosen?
  • I dunno, Quid - you might get the flying fickle finger of fate.
  • SOCK IT TO ME!
  • I wonder why he felt compelled to issue these rules at this particular juncture. Cut off in traffic in the Popemobile on the way to Arby's, maybe? BTW I think the Popemobile would look damn fine wit da spinnaz, or these. (maybe already suggested above, only the links didn't function for moi)
  • It's gotta be hard to make decisions about a new vehicle when you're the Pope. Hummer or Hybred? Which way would Satan go? See what Google: popemobile gets you? Top Ten Features Of The New Popemobile 10. Rear-view mirror that reads "Objects in mirror are holier than they appear." 9. Stained-glass windshield. 8. Radio automatically switches stations when Sinead O'Connor comes on. 7. Pope can now climb in window like Bo and Luke Duke. 6. Bumper sticker: "Don't ask me about my grandson as I have taken a life-long vow of celibacy." 5. More hat room than any car in its class. 4. Electronic mapping device shows Earth at center of solar system. 3. Radar detector--'cause Pope can't drive 55. 2. Transmission that doesn't break down every six months--now that would be a miracle, am I right, people? 1.Corners like a snake in a rat hole.
  • Awesome, BlueHorse. And you can bet that, whatever model the Pope chooses, it'll have a rosary hanging from the rearview (beside the scented tree, of course).
  • The whole news item instantly reminded me of my fave Catholic organization by far, The Sacred Heart Auto League. Motto? "Drive Prayerfully and Carefully." My mom is a relatively recent convert to Catholicism - the Sacred Heart Auto League sent by far the best unsolicited mail she's gotten from church-related organizations. If you've ever wanted to kit out your vehicle in Jesus statues and St Christopher medals, for whatever reason (genuine belief or an unwavering fondness for religious kitsch), they are the people you want to meet.
  • So, is this where "Jesus, Take the Wheel" came from?
  • Dashboard Jesus Is My Copilot.
  • Es el Queso, I feel seasick just looking at those things. An elegant highway interchange is a work of art.
  • ...his friends were treated for unspecified injuries... *cringes, remembering Garp*