of no fixed subtitle
April 30, 2007
72% of Americans don't know plastic comes from petroleum.
My father once pointed out that the root word of "ignorant" is "ignore." Yeeaaah...
15 years ago
19% of Americans can't even spell petroleum
I am a weak man. It's spelled "
...and 'Americans' shouldn't have the apostrophe.
I've heard that 67% of all statistics are made up on the spot in order to sound impressive.
...and that's what I get for posting really fast at work while no one's looking. Crap.
I heard that 33% of Internet arguments are directly related to how words are spelt.
42% of 15% of the thirteenth percentile is a fraction of a nested statistic.
This one time? I tried really hard not to cough? And I farted.
It's perhaps worth pointing out that the article is a press release from a company that's making a biodegradable plastic. Having just read something horrifying about the numbers of plastic bags used daily in the U.S., I'm strangely torn between my usual suspicious, hostile reaction to marketing that looks like news, and the desire to just mail them some money directly.
98% of 75% of comments made to 35% of internet pages are 100% bullshit 47% of the time.
Monkeyfilter:100% bullshit 47% of the time.
27% of taglines posted were 8% less likely to be uncommented on after bananination by 4 out of 9 doctors.
Reminds me of the time I went shopping with a friend who didn't know doughnuts were fried or that blue cheese had mold in it.
Were they, like, blonde?
Grapenuts- neither grapes nor nuts. Discuss.
68% of all plastic bags end up on my kitchen floor because my f*&*$#*ing roommate is too lazy to collect them together and recycle them.
So what is plastic made from?
I would bet comments about spelling and grammar generate 89% of the animosity around here. I would also bet, that the speling errors. And grammer errors made by 90% of us is accidental. Or not.
3.245623109% of us is idiots
...and oil is made from dinosaurs, and that's why they're extinct. When will we learn?
I don't know what you believe but I'll tell you there's no doubt I need another double shot of something 90-proof I got too much to think about.
Well, of course you know that 90 proof = 45% alcohol.
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado convertible, hot pink with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 mph getting one mile per gallon, sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers, and when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag and then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam container right out the side and there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do about it... you know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why!
Too bad the whole world shares North America's oil/plastic addiction. But as soon as we find
the cure for cancer
a way to turn plastic back into dead dinosaurs, everything will be all right, yeah!
100% of americans call it gas.
I fixed it because I want to save Weezel the pain. It's probably too late, but I did my best. Anyway, plastic? I made plastic from milk once.
I'll throw in some facts and stir: Petroleum is made from crude oil Polyethylene is made from ethane (not crude oil) Polypropylene is made from propane (not crude oil) Melamine (a "plastic" is made from urea which is made from ammonia. And so on. But wait! Here's a wee pome I wrote when I was 12:
Dinosaurs were large in girth And soon they sank beneath the earth. There the rocks with mighty force Made oil, from dinosauce.
That is clearly a pome from the Land of Uk.
Rule of thumb: if no R, pronounce one; if R, ignore it.
That's loverly, Ed! What a clever kiddie you were.
So what is plastic made from?
Baby seals. Duh. Everyone knows that. And the fools who want to stop the seal hunt are risking the destruction of our modern civilisation! Club those seals!
Polypropylene is made from propane
That'll blow up real good.
The Monkeybashi is wise and generous. This one offers thanks.
bows, backs out of room
41% of plastic shopping bags wind up around my cat's neck if I don't hide them from her.
Experts at Duke University estimate that 10% of Lara's cat is currently covered in plastic shopping bags.
100% of the scarring on my cat's nose is due to a panicky dive under a too-low couch following an involuntary plastic-bag-superman-cape incident.
The plastic bag 100% started it!
MonkeyFilter: speling errors. And grammer errors made by 90% of us
Gottcha oil right here, buddy.