April 12, 2007

The new U.S. e-passport will incorporate updated security features and a new design. This design will reflect the varied landscapes of our country and each page will include a quote reflecting the hope and success that is the United States of America. C'mon, you know you've got it in you.

Surely the collective intelligensia that is MonkeyFilter can come up with some suggested "quote(s) reflecting the hope and success that is the United States of America."

posted by RalphTheDog 17 years ago
  • "Mission Accomplished."
  • "Would you like fries with that?" "Welcome to Wal-Mart..." "If you're not with us, you're against us."
  • "One per customer. Offer not valid in Puerto Rico, Guam, or U.S. Virgin Islands."
  • "America: Fuck yeah!"
  • "This business about graceful exit just simply has no realism to it at all."
  • "Some Sudafed, a bathtub ... and a dream."
  • "That's some nappy-headed hos there"
  • "Mmm, donuts."
  • "Torture is our middle name."
  • "We can't stop here. This is bat country!"
  • "Birthplace of Billy Ray Cyrus."
  • "Slavery? What slavery?"
  • "Indians? What Indians?"
  • "Land of river fires!"
  • "Sending poor kids to war to protect rich adults' wealth for more than 200 years."
  • © The Walt Disney Company
  • Best before: 01/20/09
  • "God told me we're better than you."
  • Best before: 01/20/01
  • Welcome to Jesusland
  • © United States of America (China) Ltd., A Proud Member of SinoNorthAmerican Holdings Corp.
  • "Tierra de Libres!"
  • "Mistakes were made." "Let's not play the Blame Game."
  • "Now with less Hunter Thompson, Spalding Gray, and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr."
  • "Batteries not included."
  • "Birthplace of 'The Pina Colada Song'"
  • "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, so we can send them back to the third world from whence they fled!"
  • "Mistakes were made." and will be made again
  • "Made in Taiwan"
  • Oligarchy disguised as Democracy with a dash of Kleptocracy to add zest
  • "In Europe, bearer's nationality may be Canadian"
  • "Land of many Levittowns."
  • "The only country where 'firecrotch' is the answer to one of the naturalization exam questions."
  • "Soccer's too subtle."
  • "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job!"
  • "George Bush hates black people."
  • Is that our Canadian money being used as the prototype?
  • Git-r-done!
  • "We probably could have saved ourselves, but we were too damned lazy to try very hard."
  • My father's passport just came in the mail two weeks ago and it's one of these new-fangled ones. Bulky as hell from all the electronics. The eagle-wheat-flag combo right above the photo is even BRIGHTER and MORE PATRIOTIC in person than in that little image.
  • "Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and widespread electronic surveillance."
  • "We've got apples and stuff."
  • "Some Restrictions Apply."
  • "We're the meat in the sammich." "Whatever." "Ya wanna make somethin' of it?" "Metric Conversion Act of 1975? What Metric Conversion Act of 1975?" "You can't spell 'America' without R, A, C, and E." "Land of Beautiful Teeth."
  • "Hot Metal and Methadrine" I've had that song in my head for like a week now
  • "Allowing women to vote since 1920!"
  • "Go fuck yourself!"
  • "May cause oily discharge."
  • "Side effects include nausea, headache, constipation, anxiety and Republicanism."
  • Is America seriously that bad? Because, you know, I've been living here for my whole life and it seems like a pretty chill place.
  • "If we told you, we'd have to kill you -- and we may, anyway!"
  • well, it's fun and easy to get cynical with taglines. I'm happy to leave the positive ones to the actual people in charge.
  • But I'd like to point out that I DID mention the bautiful teeths.
  • "For your safety, keep this passport inside tin foil hat pouch. No, really."
  • MonkeyFilter: BRIGHTER and MORE PATRIOTIC in person! MonkeyFilter: it's fun and easy to get cynical with taglines!
  • "Health insurance? We don't need no stinkin' health insurance!"
  • No question, the U.S. is fantastic if you're born white and financially stable.
  • Hail Eris. All Hail Discordia.
  • well, it's fun and easy to get cynical with taglines. I'm happy to leave the positive ones to the actual people in charge. What part of "We the People" do you not understand?
  • known knowns - known unknowns - unknown unknowns
  • Passports: good enough for one in five!
  • What part of "We the People" do you not understand? I mean the specific people who've been hired to be in charge of the production of these passports.
  • In my travels around the globe, I am yet to meet a single person who would set foot in the US. It didn't use to be this bad even as recently as the early 90s, in my recollection.
  • MonkeyFilter: Bulky as hell from all the electronics.
  • Get'cher MonkeyFilter passport here! Comply with the law. Orangutangs need not apply. Anyone who doesn't have one will be deported across to the Blue.
  • Oh... Nevermind /Litella
  • Awesome ref., Argh.
  • "I'm from New York City and I say kill 'em all!"
  • "Things are all right in America / If you're a White in America." West Side Story
  • "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best."
  • So a serious question: If they're issuing a new electronic passport, does that mean those of us with the old ones will need to get an updated one? Surprisingly this is not addressed on the Passport FAQ page, and yet it would seem to me to be a damn good question to have answered. I just renewed my passport (in 2005), and I am not thrilled about the prospect of either having to pay again for a new one, or suffer delays because I have the gall to continue using an "old" paper version.
  • Surprisingly this is not addressed on the Passport FAQ page It's not? Granted, that's not a completely clear resolution of the issue. But here's what a little Google gets you: "Americans with valid traditional passports won't have to replace them until they expire." Next time, you're on your own.
  • Was there ever ANYTHING that the gummint has a hand in that shows a reduced cost? Should have renewed my passport in January, dammit.
  • Oh shit, I forgot about the deadline, now I'll have to get one with a chip. Crap.
  • Oh shit, I forgot about the deadline, now I'll have to get one with a chip. Crap.
  • 'tis nothin' a wee turn in the microwave won't fix, lad.
  • I think it depends on where you live, as not all processing centers are issuing passports with the chip as-of-yet (i.e., they're rolling it out over the next few years). If my memory serves, Denver was the first to implement. *sulks over the fact that my procrastinating self has failed to send in the renewal form for the past month*
  • "You have to get out of here! Your passport is haunted!"