April 10, 2007

10 Things your Restaurant won't tell you. How can you tell a good special from a bad one? Watch out for "an expensive item used in a way that's minimizing its flavor," Zagor says, such as a lamb chop that's been cut, braised and put into a dish where it's a supporting player. Pastas, stews and soups containing expensive meats are also suspect. Also don't go out on Mondays.
posted by StoryBored 17 years ago
  • It's nice to see that the author of the article liked Anthony Bourdain's book enough to crib from it.
  • 9. "Nice tip — too bad your waiter won't get it." Just because you tip your waitress 10 bucks, it doesn't mean she's going home with that money. More than likely, she'll have to pass on some of it to the people who helped her serve you: The bartender might get $2, and the busboy $3 to $5. It's called a tip pool, and it's becoming standard practice in many restaurants. "It happens often that if someone leaves a voluntary tip [for their server], a significant portion of that money is going to other people," Zagor says. But the money IS going to OTHER people who give you service, and are paid just as poorly as the waitress. I worked in restaurants all through high school and college, and my experience was that even after splitting tips with bartenders and bussers, most waitresses still made out like bandits. And the successful ones farmed out as much of their work as they could get away with to other staff so they could concentrate on buttering up the customers for a good tip. I worked with one girl who had a Masters in education, but was making so much in tips that she hadn't even bothered to look for a job in her field because it would be a big pay cut.
  • That there are rat droppings in the deep fryer? Yummm...
  • Writing articles that point out the worst in any profession or service is a cheap way out of making your "writing quota" and filling newspaper space.... Bob's Resturant Rule: Find the ones you like, go often enough that they know who you are, treat the people that work there like family, tip well. All will be well!
  • Renault's Restaurant Rule: Always ask for your meat Medium Rare, even if you prefer it otherwise. Asking for Well Done means that the restaurant can cook the shit out of it to hide a lousy cut of meat. Asking for it Rare means they have little work to do at all.
  • Find the ones you like, go often enough that they know who you are, treat the people that work there like family, tip well. All will be well! Well, this works only if you -really- know the whole restaurant staff. There's a restaurant we go to where the owner and some of the waitstaff have known us for years, but I don't have the slightest idea who's working in the kitchen. The kitchen is a black box at most places. I got food poisoning there a couple of months ago, which I think probably came from a finished pizza contacting a contaminated surface.
  • I agree with HuronBob's rule, and I'd add "make lots of eye contact with the servers and always say please and thank you." Friends who waited tables always hated customers who wouldn't make eye contact. Medium Rare is good, as long as it's more towards the "rare" end of the spectrum. I don't want my steak to do a full on "Moo" when I poke it with a fork, but a good "Muh" is necessary. The older I get the rarer I like steak. By the time I'm elderly I think I'll be of the "slap its ass, show it the fire, and put it on my plate" contingent.
  • Always ask for your meat Medium Rare And hold the meat. Ordering the veggie stuff only will significantly increase the odds of surviving a tainted-meat attack from a waiter with a vendetta.
  • ...there are rat droppings in the deep fryer? They're too salty, but the fried rats are to die for.
  • Order alcoholic drinks. Wait staff that used to work for me (in a prior life I was a general manager of several entertainment venues) would always fawn over tables that ordered drinks and give the cold shoulder to the tetotalers. Reason? The average check of the drinking crowd is 2x more than the "I'll just have water" bunch. Hence, the tip doubles, hence they are the preferred customers. And god help you if you are a senior citizen looking for a discount. Just be aware: waiting tables can be a competitive, contact sport. Weak co-workers and bargain-hunters suffer the consequences.
  • Any waiter/ess who gives you the cold shoulder for any reason is asking for no tip. I guess recovering alcoholics are SOL as far as service goes.
  • cooking at home sounds better and better all the time.
  • 11. Never order a dish with a "special sauce."
  • Lay out your tip in dollar bills side by side before ordering. Remove a dollar from the table throughout the course of the meal everytime something occurs which you find to be dissatisfying.
  • Heh, now there's a suggestion. You could also add more bills on an ongoing basis.
  • I like to stuff a bill in the waitperson's g-string every time they take an order or deliver a dish.
  • I try that all the time at McDonalds but they keep telling me to stay on my side of the counter.
  • Laying money on the table one's eating? Now there's a great way to get food poisoning.
  • Treat people with respect and be nice, even if things go wrong. Hey, guess what? Sometimes things go wrong. This does not absolve you of your responsibility not to be a dick. And tip! If you can't tip decently, you should be cooking your own dinner at home. There are worse things in the world than being known at your favorite restaurants as an amiable guy and a good tipper.
  • Tipping pisses me off. And I'm (probably) a good tipper. Tipping question: "tip jar" at starbucks. I'm already paying $5 for a cuppa cawfie. Tip? This concludes the "say-tip-as-much-as-possible-in-one-post" portion of our tip. Er, I mean show.
  • Live in Britain! No tipping, the food sucks, the service blows, and everyone is miserable no matter what! NO ONE LOSES.
  • People who have an interest in continuing on as living organisms lose. You forgot them.
  • Yeah. LOSER.
  • *feels bad, gives muteboy a tip*
  • *Ahem!* *cough*
  • That the management is taking a cut from the tips? Aaah, the lovely Starbucks lucite lock boxes...
  • When the lovely sloe-eyed Starbuck baristo flirts with me in hopes of a tip, I don't have the heart to condemn him as a man-ho. And the tip jar is hidden amongst the impulse-buy biscuits, so I don't think he can tell I'm not putting anything in.
  • "Laying money on the table one's eating? " see...that's the problem, you're not supposed to eat the table......
  • I've never tipped at the mermaid. Only now that they remember my order and dont botch it I will consider it... *Always* tip at smaller, local coffehouses. Lower prices + more personal service does it. Of course, then their quality dwindles and I tend to return to the global house.
  • *tips petebest* Oh! Are you okay down there?
  • God creates the heavens and the earth, and religious fuckers just tithe 10%. And then they wonder why the service is so poor.
  • Laying money on the table one's eating? Ah, yes, the lumberjack special.
  • RALPH! You DOG! *laughs immoderately
  • *stuffs bill in petebest's G-string* Drinks for everyone!