The Outsider Diaries. Piers Morgan is the former editor of the UK's Daily Mirror, sacked for publishing fake photos of Iraqis being abused by British troops. Some might know him as the America's Got Talent judge that made a twelve year old boy cry.

Whose email would he like? I wouldn't mind George Bush's - just so every morning he downloaded a mail and saw the word "twat"! What does he think of a top model and her drug-addled beau? I've never quite got the Kate Moss thing. How this stroppy, pinch-faced little coke-snorter from Croydon ever made it to become the world's No. 1 supermodel is quite beyond me. But even that is not as incomprehensible as her obsession with that filthy, talentless junkie Pete Doherty. What was his role in the death of Doris Day's dog?