March 22, 2007

• I could live with them, it's just that they wouldn't stay nice-looking for long once I got my grubby mitts on them.
• First of all the damn pics take forever to load--longer to load one than the lolcat pages--and much less fun to look at. Not my style, sorry. Some are just silly-- the zen garden bedroomhas a rake on the bed? Gimmee a break. A couple of the others look like half a start to a furnished room. No personality whatsoever. The decorators put their personality into the kid's rooms and didn't leave any room for the kid's. If you're going to have a "themed" room for your kid, let THEM help pick out their favorite theme and do the decorations. What's with that "floating table" thing at the base of the bed in the Jungle room? Looks like an accident waiting to happen to any of the real life kids I know. Johnny's on the way to the hospital with a head wound. The way he cut the legs off the vintage chairs was one of the most fresh ideas I have ever seen. Yeah, that's priceless. Any kid I know would have THOSE off the platform and be screwing around on the floor in about 3.25 seconds. The bed's interesting, but when you wack your head on the edge of that surround--OUCH! The beach shelter looks like it was put together with old hay tarps I throw in the garbage. Did I mention I don't like this kind of pretentous stuff? I'm just not "in style" or "with it".
• Levels, Jerry.
• I didn't even look at the link, but BlueHorse has got me in the mood for a rant: TOTAL CRAP! SOOOOOO STUPID! TUM HAS GRUBBY MITTS! I feel better now.
• Seriously, though -- is practicality at all a concern? It isn't for haute couture, so should it be for this? It promotes the designers, it gives us trickle-down ideas. The usual. Whatever.
• Well, haute couture is generally reserved for rich invitees to catwalk shows in expensive places, with a few stills or clips on tv so the rest of us can say to ourselves "What were they thinking??" every so often. This collection was on a prole cable channel. My theory is that the designers ought to level their creations to their audience. Frank Lloyd Wright gave us some spectacular architecture, but his proclivity for built-ins that didn't look very comfortable and couldn't be changed around were really more for folks who were looking for housing-as-art than housing-as-comfort. And, his roofs always leaked. I doubt that he would ever have displayed those houses on HGTV or whatever. Capt. - I understand where you're coming from, but I got the feeling that they were mostly designing for folks who would never have anyone over for a party, since they would clutter up the place. It looked pretty lonely to me. What did you see there which might trickle down?
• I really really really hate theme-based decorating. When I see a room that's designed to look like a day at the beach or a goddamn rodeo or a circus tent or an internment camp or whatever, the only message it sends to me is These People Have More Money Than Sense. YMMV, of course, but any home that has its atmosphere painted on the walls is a home that immediately strikes me as inherently fradulent and therefore uncomfortable. I'm all for being bold and taking risks, but 99% of it looks either forced or ugly or both.
• The decorators put their personality into the kid's rooms and didn't leave any room for the kid's. If you're going to have a "themed" room for your kid, let THEM help pick out their favorite theme and do the decorations. I saw that episode, and the kids DID pick out their themes. The pirate room was initially going to be something entirely different, until he met with the kid and the kid told him "pirates". I disagree with a lot of the things the judges say/decide, but that room was awesome, and deserved to win. Any kid I know would have THOSE off the platform and be screwing around on the floor in about 3.25 seconds. The bed's interesting, but when you wack your head on the edge of that surround--OUCH! Yeah, those were such a bad idea. Stupid judges. He essentially made a chairs that required another chair to sit on. The surrounding around the bed was heavily criticized though. I think it's totally possible to be comfortable in a room that has personality. I don't think the format of the show gives you opportunity to see such designs though. The contestants are mediocre (because good designers/chefs/whatevers won't risk hurt their good rep), and huge constraints are placed on them (time, money, specific goals (like only using garage sale items), and other constraints that are hard to simply summarize).
• *Hides monkey stencils, monkey lamp and monkey curtains under the couch*
• I really really really hate theme-based decorating. Uh oh, I guess the bridles on the coat rack made of old horseshoes and saddle under the kitchen table (stirrups need adjusted) along with the dog hair carpeting, and the cat toys in the corner spells out the theme Living In an internment camp A Zoo. *shuts door quickly, invites MCT around to back porch It promotes the designers, it gives us trickle-down ideas. Screw the designers. What ever happened to trickle-up anything? huge constraints are placed on them (time, money, specific goals (like only using garage sale items) Wait, aren't you describing my lifestyle? OOOOOHHHHH! HillBilly has monkey curtains!!! Me want to see.
• OK, so I might have made up the part about the curtains, but here's the lamp.
• I really wouldn't put much stock in any judge who says "...the most fresh idea I've ever seen." These rooms are seriously fugly. Seriously.
• MonkeyFilter: seriously fugly. Seriously.
• Oh. OH. OH! The monkey lamp. I soooooo love it!
• *Hides monkey stencils, monkey lamp and monkey curtains under the couch* Well, kids rooms are one thing. I'm talking about grownups here.. *shuts door quickly, invites MCT around to back porch I should clarify this too. You, madam, are a person of rural inclinations who derives a sense of euphoria from equine-powered perambulations. You can therefore nail up all the goddamn horseshoes and throw around all the saddles and bridles you want. It's just cheesy as hell when designers do it. A cowboy keeps an iron bootjack in the corner because, well, he doesn't want to bend over to take off his damn boots. A designer puts it there for "cowboy flavor." The falseness radiates. Rigid adherence to a theme, especially when that theme is not part of your lifestyle (filling your room with Kanji characters that you can't read, for instance, and not allowing any other influences in) may mean that you're just that much in love with that theme or culture or whatever, but most likely it's going to come off like an affectation. A rider and raiser of horses whose house is full of leather and iron comes off as an enthusiast. But that's just me, and I was raised among a string of family homes dotted with mismatched antiques arranged in a style my mother is fond of referring to as Early Garage Sale. I pick things for my home based on their beauty, history, and utility, not at all for whether they would really contribute to my Tribute to Shatner half-bath or my Trail of Tears kitchen.
• Obviously a Tribute to Shatner would deserve a FULL BATH, you philistine.
• And in the interest of public supplication before both hillbillyswamp and the theme of this mighty filter (may its nanners be forever bountiful), I offer up Jack's crib bedding, just arrived this week: Once you see his jammies, you will begin to discern a...shall we say, motif emerging.
• best. monkeyquilt. ever.
• teh squeeeeee!