March 09, 2007

The Man From Maine and Jack LaLanne, LIVE on PAYPAHVIOUU!!!
  • Let's get ready to FUMBLE MUMBLE STUMBLE!!!
  • Sounds like LaLanne is a big scaredy cat.
  • In other news, the hormone testosterone is thought to render men complete #@%! idiots their entire lives. Film at 11.
  • I like it. It revives my forgotten idea about putting the ashes of my grandparents into a large loaf of bread and seeing whose ashes will rise the most. Note: The ashes will be dyed different colors so that they are easier to spot in the bread.
  • That's fucking awesome.
  • Geriatric machismo!
  • First one to break a hip loses.
  • > the hormone testosterone is thought to render men complete #@%! idiots their entire lives. Yeah, it's great isn't it? Plus it's a fantastic excuse. Sorry I broke the Faberge egg collection darling. I was feeling quite hormonal and thought it would be a neat idea to try egg rolling with them.
  • The local radio station asked this guy what he wears when he works out, he replied, "Shawts". My new word of the day.
  • TWO WILL ENTER, ONE WILL NAP! TWO WILL ENTER, ONE WILL POO! Actually, I think this is a fantastic idea. I know of an octogenarian who likes to cross the Grand Canyon on foot in a single day for kicks. I figure these guys can beat the hell out of each other for the same reason. THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF THE JUICE WEASEL!!!!111!!!1
  • All you young whippersnappers think you're so tough! Geddorf my lawn, dammit.
  • Jack LaLanne appeared at my high school back in the 70s. Already a pretty mature guy, he stood onstage and boldly challenged all the team captains--basketball, football, gymnastics, etc.--to join him onstage. Then he announced they'd all be doing pushups, to see who could keep them up longest. Quite a sight--little old Jack (he's not a tall person), surrounded by buff, studly high school guys. Do I really need to tell you what happened? All I can say is, those teenagers were pretty embarrassed. Never heard that Lalanne was into pugilism, but if he were, I'll bet he could kick this guy's ass.