March 08, 2007

Curious George: Canadian Passport Panic We've just been told that Mr. Koko's passport will not be ready in time for our flight to Australia.

My husband, mother-in-law and I are scheduled to fly to Sydney in two weeks (March 23). On January 29, Mr. Koko mailed his passport application to the processing center in Hull, Quebec. Unwise in hindsight, but at the time he mailed it, the estimated processing time was still 4 to 6 weeks. As soon as he mailed it, it changed to 6 to 8 weeks. Now it stands at 9 weeks. We went to the passport office in Winnipeg today to see if we could find out the status of his application (since their phone lines are constantly busy), and the woman there said that they hadn't even started a file for him yet. She said our only option for getting it in time would be to start from scratch with a new application, and submit it at the Winnipeg office. In order to do this, my husband would need another copy of his birth certificate (from Ontario), and since their line is also busy, I have to assume they're flooded with applications as well. We're thinking that even if he gets another birth certificate by the end of next week (big if), that's still not enough time to get a passport. I'm thinking I need to go back to the passport office, and demand that they call someone at the office in Hull, get them to find Mr. Koko's application and FedEx it to Winnipeg. Am I crazy/naïve to expect them to do this? As far as I'm concerned, we are not at fault, since we did mail it in within a reasonable amount of time. Passport Canada knew that they'd be flooded with applications due to the new border laws (all Canadians are required to have a passport to enter the US), and did nothing to prepare for the rush. We stand to lose a lot of money, as his ticket is non-refundable. Any suggested plan of action? Are we fucked? Please tell me I don't have to make this trip alone with my mother-in-law .... Yes, I just posted the same question to the Green. Cut me some slack, willya?

posted by Koko 17 years ago
  • Contact your MP and see if he/she can help, or at least offer better advice. At the same time, continue pressing the local Passport office folks. Good luck!
  • Bummer! in the US, we have an option expedite passports for an additional fee. I take it you can't do that in Canada since you appear to have checked everything. Though, is there any chance his employer could tell them how important this trip is to ensure his job security? But, yeah, bureauracys respond to more important bureaurats Get in touch with every political person you can find.
  • Oh, koko, I am so sorry. I have no advice with Canadian passports, but Mrs. TheDog just got an expedited (like 3 days) US passport via a company that does such things. Perhaps there is a Canuck equivalent? Maybe these people? Notice: I know NOTHING about that site nor its services...just a google-find.
  • Hang in there koko! Can you take the day off tomorrow, and spend it talking to people? If you can be persistent yet polite (difficult as the latter may be under the circumstances), you should be able to get through to one of the civil servants who is actually able to do something. Maybe you could play the "funeral" card and get some extra sympathy that way? Somewhere in Winnipeg or Ottawa there will be somebody who can locate that application and whisk it through the process, but it will take a metric buttload of patience by you to locate that person.
  • I third the suggestion to get your elected representative(s) on the case. They (or their staff) typically spend significant time doing this kind of thing -- cutting through red tape for polite but insistent constituents.
  • And good luck! Dealing with bureaucracy sucks, and I hope you get a swell visit to Oz as a payoff for this stress!
  • I will be presenting sacrifices to the passport gods in your names, Koko. Good luck.
  • Uh, bureaucratic rituals where time is measured in days and weeks make me want to chew nails. Good luck, Koko. That's one good aspect of my city's permit legislation; here getting a new passport is a matter of making a long line early in the morning and it's ready in the afternoon or by next day. Getting an American visa, now that's anotrher matter... *chews*
  • I generally annoy the crap out of people by calling them daily, twice a day even, until they get so sick of me that they do it. That's pretty much how I got my US visa. If you have to go in person, take turns with Mr K and mother-in-law, or nominate helpers. Good luck!
  • So if I might have to travel to Fiji in a couple of years I should apply for my passport right now? Good luck, Koko.
  • I'm hearing a lot of suggestions to call my MP. I've never done that before. How do I figure out who my MP is? Me and the m-i-l are going to the passport office today, to beg them to contact someone in the other office. That will be the first step. If that doesn't work, I'll try this "MP" person of which you speak. This is perfect timing. Did I mention I have to do a month's work of work in 2 weeks before I leave, because no one will be covering for me? Ay carumba. Thanks everyone! Pray for koko!
  • I have no sensible advice to offer. Has Mr K got an expired passport? Came to the crunch, I think I'd try with that, plus whatever other paperwork I could muster. Probably end up in Abu Ghraib.
  • Good luck Koko! I would go back to the office and request that they get the stuff sent from Quebec. Faxing should be sufficient. Make it clear that there's a big financial risk here, but play first on their sympathy rather than beginning with the sturm und drang. You can always unleash the mayhem as a last resort. Is there an ombudsperson you can raise the matter with? Ten years back I had a problem where some of the countries I was about to visit wouldn't accept tourists with less than three months to run on the passport; I had two and a half months left. I went to the passport office and explained the situation and they expedited the process: done within five days. It's almost 12 weeks since I submitted a passport renewal form. They've rejected my photos three times. Way to stoke my ego!
  • Ah yes, now I see you are going to the passport office. Sorry, bit sleepy.
  • Very best of luck to you both! This kind of thing is a right bummer!
  • Love how the government is so consistent. I live in Hull, QC. I filled out my passport application and walked it in to the office sometime in early February. I was told it should be there earlier than March 15th. I received my passport yesterday. I don't know what they're doing in this case, but someone sure dropped the ball. I don't really have any advice. I hope they can sort things out for you, I've heard a number of horror stories about passports lately.
  • Now, this is not legal advice of any kind, because I don't know anything about passport law other than being the occasional guarantor, but I would look into that emergency passport thingy listed on the green. I forsee lots of trouble if you were to start doubling up on applications, just complicating the entire process and forcing them to stop to weed through what's actually going on. Get on the horn with your MP (and if you don't know who that is, check out the Elections Canada website, find out your riding, boom). Don't be above crying. Also, keep at the folks in Ontario for the birth certificate, because without that, nothing's happening. It may be worth driving to Kenora, plunking yourself down in the Registry Office, and getting a hard copy going. It'll still be sent to Sudbury for processing, but at least it'll be in the works. And should your M-i-L not be available to travel, both my passports are valid.
  • Ugh. Service Ontario. Good luck getting a birth certificate out of them in a timely manner. They screwed up my marriage registration from last August -- they lost track of it, and I'm still trying to straighten it out. Months of phone calls, and you can rarely get through because the phone lines are always busy, and when you do, you are usually on hold for hours. They got the application, cashed our cheque (!!!!), then nothing. So I'm still technically not legally married.
  • Heeeeeeeey... ROAD TRIP! Shall we say, Tijuana? Land crossing, so no passports needed. And it's not like Mexico is a separate country, right?
  • At this point, getting the original application FedExed to me is the only option; I just heard back from the registrar's office in Ontario, and the emergency processing time for a birth certificate is 10 business days, and he'd need another copy of his b.c. in order to apply for an emergency passport. It might be faster to apply in person, but that's pretty much out of the question. Naturally, Mr. Koko sent his application regular mail, with no tracking. So we'll be asking them to look for a white envelope in a sea of white envelopes. I'm sure they'll have no problem locating it. Yeah, we're fucked.
  • Pre 9/11, Ontario used to have 24 hr turnaround for birth certificates. So, blame the terrists.
  • I generally annoy the crap out of people by calling them daily, twice a day even, until they get so sick of me that they do it. Yes, and I've told you many times there is no "Mr. Quidnunc" here! Good day! *klang!* Sorry to hear it Kokopholes. Perhaps the straight-to-the-top MP route will work. FWIW, when I did the "superfast turnaround" option for a passport, I had to include a self-addressed prepaid overnight envelope with the application. They don't mention that part on the form though, the lady behind the counter hipped me to it. And I did get it back in like 4 days.
  • You can get expedited service from the registrar in Ontario for a birth or marriage certificate, but you have to pay for it. The best service is to the office in Toronto, even though they do all the work in Thunder Bay. (Maybe you can drive to Thunder Bay? Crazy far, I know.)
  • As an aside, if your plane goes down on the return trip from Australia and you find yourself on a very Hawaii-looking island, keep pushing the button.
  • Fuck that, I'm going off to find the Virgin Mary statuettes. Well, we're going to submit a new application. Turns out you can do so with the receipt from a birth certificate application. Since Mr. K. did not send his original application via registered mail, it would be impossible to find it. I think the nice lady at the passport office laughed a little in her throat at that request.
  • Heroin is one of the last things on this earth that I would ever do (sandwiched right between performing analingus on Nell Carter and joining the Republican Party), but if I were stuck on that damn island, I would be giving it a shot.
  • That's why you'll never be a rock star, bernockle!! ♪♫ You all everybody! You all everybody! ♪♫ Christ, I hate that song ....
  • Yeah, it'd be terrible if your husband couldn't come to Australia. Boo hoo.
  • I am shocked. SHOCKED! At the suggestion that my husband's absence might enable us to shack up at some cheap hotel near Manly Wharf ... you know the one I mean, with the hourly rates? Where they don't ask why you don't have luggage? It's on that flyer I sent you. I mean, the very idea!
  • *ah-hem!* Uh, hello? I am reading this thread!
  • You got a flyer too? What the hell....did we all get flyers???
  • No.
  • The flyer says "Manly Wharf", so that rules me out.
  • Listen, lady, it's hard to get hired at the passport office, and I'm not gonna lose my job just because you sent me fifty bucks. Your husband's passport has been sitting here in my desk drawer gathering dust for three weeks now, and I'm putting it in the mail tomorrow. And, no, you don't get your money back. Oh, and thanks for the flyer
  • To be serious for just a sec, my parents are going on a trip in a few months and they haven't gotten their passports either. After reading the FPP, i dropped by the Ottawa passport office. They've got it set up so that the lineup queue goes fifty feet out of the office into the mall. Holy smoke! Guess I should get them to submit their applications pronto.... Hope those bureaucrats are able to come through for you, koko.
  • Yeah, make sure they submit their applications in person, StoryBored. That way, if anything is missing or incorrect, there won't be the added time of having the application mailed back to them.
  • I'm filling out their applications right now and boy I'd forgotten how picky the form is. I love the part where they say you have to have your signature TOTALLY within the little blue box. And for some unknown reason, they have two places where you have to declare the statements you make are true. What if you forget to sign one of them, does this mean I only get half a passport?
  • NO. It means NO PASSPORT FOR YOU! NEXT!
  • *puts finishing touches on hand-drawn passport complete with aluminum foil-RFID chip* C'est ca! Lookout world here I come!
  • NO. It means NO PASSPORT FOR YOU! NEXT! *Chains himself to commissionaire's desk* *sings O Canada!*
  • So I went with my parents to the passport office yesterday afternoon to hand carry the application as you suggested Koko. There was a lineup outside the Ottawa office *to get a number* - waiting time 3.5 hours! The commissionaire said that people were there at 5:30 a.m, waiting two hours for the office to open. We went back at 4:00 pm because here's the deal - everyone who is in line at closing time gets served. For what it's worth the lineup is much shorter then. We were finished in 1.5 hours total. They say they will mail the passports out by April 5, so turnaround time is 3 weeks.
  • p.s. even with the wait I would definitely recommend the hand carrying over the mail-in. As it turned out my dad's signature was a little shaky and he had to do it over.
  • Glad to hear your folks will be getting their passports ok. Mr. K. goes down to the office tomorrow afternoon (which he should have done to begin with, to avoid all this fuss -- ah, hindsight). The crowds are usually thinned out by then.
  • Yeah "best of luck" Mr Spoilsport.
  • shit I think he heard you
  • NEWS FLASH: Koko dumps Mr. Koko for The Quidnunc Kid. New MoFi names: The "Kokonuncs". film at 11
  • NOOOoooOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooOOOooooooooooooooooooooOOOooooooooo
  • I didn't think it would hurt like this -- Hold me, kit.
  • OK, but no tongues this time, I'm not in the mood.
  • Fine. *clutches*
  • This is what it sounds like when doves cry.
  • *throws a bucket of iced water over them all*
  • you kidders! Seriously though, where are we meeting because that one place on the flyer seems to have been closed for awhile
  • *wonders if the Prodigal Fes got a flyer*
  • I didn't even get a flyer.
  • Mine says Thursday at 4pm, but I have another appointment. Can I trade with whoever got Friday morning?
  • Sorry folks, the tickets are for Austria, not Australia. Boy is my face red. Your flyers are non-transferrable. I suggest you make paper hats or boats out of them or whatever. Sorry everyone, sorry. *flees*
  • Why I Aughtta!
  • Wait, which one is the one with the people what talk funny?
  • MonkeyFilter? Is that the place you mean? MonkeyFilter: ...the one with the people what talk funny
  • Wait, which one is the one with the people what talk funny? Garbleslovakia? Yackety-yakistan? Gibbero? No, wait. It's Mumbley-wumblia.
  • Lower Mumbley-wumbila?
  • So? Did he get the passapor or not, hmmm?
  • Not. Yet. Person A at passport office says, "you can apply for a temporary passport with the receipt from your online birth certificate application". Then Person B at passport office says, "no you can't! Person A is not a Passport InspectorTM, and anyway you can't get a visa with a temporary passport! You can get a birth certificate from Ontario in 5 days!" Person C at the travel agency says, "yes, you can get a visa with a temporary passport." Person D at the Registrar's Office in Ontario says, "minimum 10 days to get a birth certificate." Person E at the MP's office says, "I will help you figure this out! Tomorrow!" Person F (me) is ready to start drinking and never, ever, ever, ever stop. quidnunc's voodoo is very strong indeed.
  • Do not underestimate mojo generated by the rutting funk of the feral quidnunc. His light jazz stylings are quite acceptable too
  • Sometimes, in the rarified desert air, underneath a heavy moon, the soft and lonely rendition of "Misty" of the southwestern reticulated quidnunc floats across the canyons. It always makes me cry.
  • *goes into heat, starts howling, clawing at screen door*
  • ussy-hay.
  • AAAAWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!! *hissssssssss*
  • *adjusts quidnunc costume, rings doorbell*
  • A summary of my current passport quest: 1. Sent application in December, along with old passport. 2. Phone embassy in early February to check on status (I expected it to take six weeks). Oh, your photos were rejected in January. Really? And you were planning to tell me this when? Oh, I think someone tried to phone you. Who would that've been? And when? It doesn't say here. On the computer. You can resubmit the photos. It'll be quick after that. 3. Next day, resubmit photos. This time taken by a real human type person. 4. Phone embassy early March. Oh, your photos were rejected again. Really? I was very careful this time to make sure they fit the regulations. Why were they rejected? It doesn't say here. On the computer. Well, I'm kind of stuck if I don't know what was wrong with the photos. You can try resubmitting the same photos. Or you can submit new ones. 5. Phone passport office directly. I'm calling in connection with application number 1234-5678 Ah yes. Your photos were rejected. Yes, and I submitted new ones Did you? It doesn't say here. On the computer. Yes, they should've reached you in late February. Oh yes. Hold on! Your application is being looked at as we speak! Can you call back tomorrow? 6. Call back passport office. Hi. I've been on to you before. I'm calling in connection with application number 1234-5678 Ah yes. Your photos were rejected. Oh. Why were they rejected? I was very careful with them. It doesn't say here. On the computer. Okay. I'm at a loss now. It's been three months that I've had no passport; nobody can tell me what's wrong with the photos I've submitted. Hold on. Nobody's looked at your new photos. Can you call back in a few days? 7. Buy several large bottles of whiskey.
  • Maybe it isn't the photos--maybe it's the face of a suspicious character that's sinking this one. Have you checked in the mirror lately to see just exactally what kind of desperate characters you are?
  • I told them we've already got one! there's something wrong with the photos! *snkk!* "Of course not! Now go away you sons of a silly person!"
  • Thanks to our friendly neighborhood MP, Mr. Koko will be picking up his Ultra Secret Temporary Limited One Time Double Dog Dare Passport on Wednesday, two days before we leave. Gracias monkeys, for your helpful suggestions. sorry, quiddo!
  • Yay! A useful politician!
  • Only in Canada ....
  • Be sure to vote for the other candidate come election time :D
  • Canadian Politicians: Helping Americans since 1867.
  • Yeah. "Helping"!
  • WooHoo! Now he's official! was worried you'd have to smuggle him in under your underwear
  • Yeah whoopee Boringstan I mean Canada or whatever.