March 07, 2007
And Stay Down!
Slobodan Milosevic's fiendish plot to return from the dead foiled by team of world heroes!
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Phew -- that's one less worry. Now we just need to take care of Zombie Milosevic. But first, Zombie Milosevic would need to take out Zombie Reagan. Which he could totally do -- Zombie Milosevic is a wily fucker. Unless they teamed up or something. That'd be bad...
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Dark to dark, he is buried in the dark, my mother rests in a grave, and not in a courtyard, it is midnight, the deaf night, the time of vampires, this time I came without anything, without a hawthorn stake, and next time I will come with the hawthorn stake.
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Just a matter of time 'til images are banninated here too.
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They should have asked Ash for help.
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I was recently thinking about Jesus rising from the dead, full body and all. And I was recently thinking about heaven being some sort of spiritual place lacking in physical form or composition. Then it occurred to me: where would Jesus' actual body go? If his body physically rose, wouldn't it follow that it went someplace where we could find it? And if not, then what is the point of having his body rise from the dead at all? Wouldn't it be enough to just have his spirit be whisked away to heaven? If they had driven a stake through Jesus' heart after or during crucifiction, would he have still risen from the dead? Was Jesus actually a vampire? Or, since thoughts of Jesus have been known to impair people's logical thinking (ie, damaging their brains), is Jesus really just the Ultimate Zombie who has been feasting on millions of brains for all these years?
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*quietly alerts Vatican secret police* Oh sure, and Nixon's just out there, floating around, biding his time.
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To heck with staking Milosevic; if it's mindlessly destructive zombies you're trying to stop, how about using a nice pointy three-footer on Mr. G.W. Bush? I can think of many creative ways to do this... (he's already done some of these to the American public already so they're nothing new)
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You mean like a preemptive strike before he develops vampire capabilities? We don't want the smoking gun to be a thousand blood drained corpses?
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Jesus fights Vampires
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Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter