February 24, 2007

It's Official: Britney Spears' freak out no longer funny.

Youtube warning.

  • 1. Excellent piece by Ferguson. He got his point across nicely. 2. Each new exploitation story like this seems to outdo the one before, and I am beginning to wonder where the hell this is all going? Which over-indulged, over-drugged party girl celeb is going to implode next and what the fuck could possibly be the circumstances? Is one of them going to go postal and take out half the Beverly Center with a diamond-studded AK-47 while simultaneously fellating an entire NBA team?
  • There is a lot of talk about the possibility that she is actually suffering from post-partum depression. It makes sense. And from that viewpoint, definitely not funny.
  • It really serves to highlight how miserable their lives must really be.
  • Regarding the postpartum depression angle, I think dooce says it best.
  • That was exactly what I was thinking of, minda.
  • Insightful and very personal, no doubt. It's somewhat of a moving target what is proper to make fun of, though. I had this same discussion with a woman at work who does makeup for the tv show I work on. My take was that people who have wealth and celebrity have more choices than the powerless like the homeless, addicts and the like. She said that money and power only give you more opportunities to indulge your addictions, and therefore we must have compassion for folks like Brittany. In retrospect, I have to agree with both her and Ferguson. Once can suffer with wealth and power, no doubt. Nonetheless, I think that we over obsess about certain whack-job celebrities and could put some of that attention to the less fortunate. I'm not the first to mention this idea. It seems we will still have to listen about Brittany and her ilk (white, pretty, wealthy, heterosexual) before we hear about women who are poor, of color and other less represented groups. I guess it's just human nature...
  • I'm sociopathic enough to believe Ferguson is dancing a self-aggrandizing dance on the Britney Spears story. I do think he is the best late night talk-show comedian on the air in the US at the moment, but that is because his competition is absolutely dreadful. I really wish American TV comedians would evolve a bit. Why don't we have a Hugh Laurie or a Stephen Fry or a Bill Bailey on American TV?
  • *utter derail* Hugh Laurie is actually in the House...*/utter derail*
  • It's an interesting moment. Brittney Spears was elevated to the absolute height of American culture for no good reason. This in itself is ridiculous and laughable. So we get used to thinking of Brittney Spears as this ridiculous, laughable construct, who, at every turn, reminded us of how ridiculous and laughable our present culture really is. She became an embodiment of all that we high-minded self-identified-intellectuals loathe about our society, about the nature of "success". Except, oops, it turns out that she is, in fact, a real live person with real live pain. A lot of pain, and much of it as a result of, or at least intensely magnified by, this bizarre pop-transubstantiation she was forced through at the age of 16 or whatever that changed her from Brittney Spears-person to Brittney Spears-money making cultural zeitgeist. Turns out that she's not an embodiment of all that is odious about our culture, she is, in fact, a real person who's being used by all that is odious about our culture, and, seemingly, hurt by it. And now the tension between her Disney constructed, chart breaking, daddy's wet dream of a pop star vixen self and the real, pitifully unworldly, sweetly cornpone mama's girl who desperately doesn't know how to deal with the choices she's made has reached a breaking point. And we all get to watch her get torn apart.
  • On top of that, Britney just got dumped by her new boyfriend, a few weeks ago. She had actually already been dumped before the issue of People with the cover story about the relationship came out. So... what Nickdanger said, and yeah. I think her "out of control"-ness is being overstated for freak-show value; she mostly just seems upset and like she'd like to be left alone for a while. She's not the first girl in her early 20s to make a radical change in her appearance while under a lot of emotional pressure, and I always marvel that more celebs don't blow up and hit on paparazzi.
  • (Oh! and by "hit on" I mean physically, of course. As in, "to take a swing at." Not as in, "To proposition." You know!)
  • I'm glad my nervous breakdowns weren't in the public eye.
  • I so have a thing for Hugh Laurie. Nice derail. Thanks for that.
  • Very interesting monologue. Thanks, Nd. I'd never heard of this guy before. Reminds me a bit of Bill Hicks' mea culpas.
  • There is a lot of talk about the possibility that she is actually suffering from post-partum depression. It makes sense. I had not heard this at all, but it does, in fact, make perfect sense.
  • I don't understand why anyone found this girl's self-destruction funny in the first place.
  • Prepare yourself for a shock Skrik - people are cruel.
  • I have frequently worked with celebrities who are rewarded for bad behavior. No one says no, no one sets limits. It's all good because it sells the commodity. This girl has been working since she was 8. How could she possibly have ended up any other way? She has no education and no reality based frame of reference. At least her 'boyfriend' didn't videotape her wearing clown makeup. There aren't any mimes in here, are there?
  • i feel like im losing brain cells as i type this... but it was my understanding that kfed, as part of their ongoing custody litigation, was possibly threatening to compel drug (hair) testing... and that's why brit shaved her head. i dont believe she is "voluntarily" going to rehab per se; more like successful completion of rehab program is conditional for shared custody/placement/visitation/whatever of their kids. so in that context, i dont really think her "self-destruction" was anything sudden or recent but rather a slow gradual decline in wellness as a result of many different factors including isolation, lack of education & parenting know-how, superstardom, the babies, the obsessive paparazzi limelight (and by extension, their consumers), and etc.
  • Craig seems sincere to me. Makes me want to stay up 'til 12:30 more often.
  • Mental illness doesn't care how fat your wallet is. (unless this is all a big ass PR stunt... which means it will fatten her wallet)
  • Worst PR stunt ever.
  • The Celebrity Thing is weird. We take it for granted that we know this Person. But this Person has nothing to do with us. We don't know whether she has talent, whether she is sick, whether she is bad, whether she is good....You can follow the tabloids or you can put a little rag doll in the washing machine and watch it go round and round.
  • So true, Story, and their story is filtered thru their handlers and the media. ARRRGH, I wasn't going to read, let alone post in this thread. It's been up on the board so long.... See what you made me do, all of you? MonkeyFilter: i feel like im losing brain cells as i type this... I'm with ya there, buddy.
  • I've never seen Craig Ferguson before. I very much enjoyed everything he said in there with respect to himself. But he can't have it both ways. He can't say that his story may of course not be Britney's story because he doesn't know her yet turn around and pronounce that she's a baby. I also disagree with him saying that everyone is always responsible. He obviously needs to visit a psychiatric facility. By the same token, no matter how well intentioned, dooce's speculation is completely unfounded. She is just identifying with what is regarded as reckless behaviour and has decided, just like Craig Ferguson, to attach her own story to the Britney publicity. These 2 speculators are the cream of the commentators I've no doubt but I don't rate their pronouncements about Britney's state of mind, diagnosis or requirements any higher than any of the tabloid stories (that I haven't read).
  • There's one factor I don't think has been mentioned yet: choice. There's this cute girl who's the girlfriend of either prince William or Harry (I don't follow it that closely) and she's hounded by the press already. She never chose that. She just fell in love with someone who's in a public position by no choice of his own either. People like Britney Spears and Anna Nicole Smith on the other hand, have become symbols of untalented, crass attention whoring not by chance, but by choice. Britney doesn't have to be poor little Lucky. She could just be troubled (or possibly not troubled at all) Britney at the local trailer park. But instead she chose to become rich and famous. And now mephisto is coming to claim his end of the bargain.
  • Chip: (may I be so familiar?) I'd rather meet Mephisto at the Ritz then at the Happy Trails Trailer Court any day.
  • [MR]Chip - there was a choice to become famous, but Britney didn't make it. Her parents did. She was being groomed for public consumption as soon as she could walk.
  • What NickDanger said. Also yentruoc. I've always thought if I were to be famous, I'd want to be a New Kid On The Block. Wildly popular for a year or two. Money, fans, bitches, the whole nine yards. Then POOF: it's gone. You were a fad, flash in the pan, and no one cares any more. If you were SMART you saved some money and can move on with your life. And there's always that weird little group of fans that just won't let go when you need an ego boost. But I would never want to be a Britney Spears. I couldn't handle it. 'Though I do look pretty great in go-go boots.
  • I like the Fergmeister, and this just makes me like him the more so. Well said, sir. And she is a baby. And she was pushed into it by her folks. And I wish her the best recovery and personal fulfillment as a human possible. But the person aside - the public phenomena of Pop Star Britney Spears has shoved it's slick, writhing faux underage-ass into my radio and tv for wayyy too long without any merit - artistic, cultural, or otherwise. It's @#$%! payback time, as far as I'm concerned. Maybe schadenfreude reigns, but karma's a well-recognized beyotch. Would that the schlockist record company bozos who promote this utter crap could be so slapped for their similar crass actions. And Madonna - you can't hide forever! *makes tick mark on Little List*
  • Would that the schlockist record company bozos who promote this utter crap could be so slapped for their similar crass actions. Well, that's the thing. They're still around, and probably sending their tendrils out to find the next "Britney Spears" as I write this.
  • Tendrils? How many tendrils? Could it be...10?
  • The Mouseketeer thing can be blamed on the parents. The pop career, less so.
  • I don't know about that. I pretty much did what my parents told me to when I was 16.
  • Fuck, at 16 I probably wanted to be famous. Let's face it, at 16 you're pretty stupid.
  • You IDIOT, Nickdanger! I'm STILL stupid at 43!
  • Wait - which one of us am I insulting?
  • I don't know, but you sure made me feel bad... ...for you! For you!
  • ARRRRGH! Curse you, Ironia - you evil demoness, who bringeth rain upon the wedding day, who provideth a free ride when thou hast already paid!
  • *hits quidnunc one more time*
  • I like Ferguson. I haven't watched his show in quite a while, but I like his style. This bit makes me like him more. I mean, we can all laugh at the insanity of the rich and imploding, but how many of us will admit that we laugh in part because we can often see a bit of ourselves in the spectacle?
  • If you hit him just right, I hear that a packet of crackers will drop down without putting in any coins. Quid, not Ferguson.
  • Yabbut House is not a comedy. At least, it's not intentional comedy, though I'm often amused by its overdramatic direction and acting. I'm sure if I knew some medicine, I'd find the show's entire premise hillarious. I was hoping more for comedy of the calibre of A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Scrubs doesn't cut it (and is evidence that no American TV show is immune from turning into a soap opera -- see what The Office has been turning into recently, for another example).
  • I've never seen American TV pull off anything like F&L. I don't know if I'd like it if they did. There's a doctor out there who has a blog in which he dissects (ha) every episode of House and what of the medical stuff is crap and what's realistic. Strangely enough, it's mostly crap. Wish I could remember the link; I may even have posted it here a long time ago.
  • Très intéressant! A bit of googling brought this up: Differential Diagnosis: A Medical Guide to House. Is this what you were referring to? (It's not by a doctor, but by a med student.)
  • In other news, all non-CBS Craig Ferguson videos have apparently been deleted from youtube. Not that I am complaining too much. I still gots my dailymotion, and, unlike youtube, there is a simple workaround to watch deleted dailymotion videos.
  • Scrubs doesn't cut it (and is evidence that no American TV show is immune from turning into a soap opera -- see what The Office has been turning into recently, for another example). I'm quite enjoying 30 Rock. It's filling the void left by Arrested Development. A great character-driven comedy. It's not as good as AD was, shurely, but it's quite clever and chancey. Far more so than Studio 60, which was a total dud. I gave you a lot of chances, Sorkin, but aside from the guy-banter, Studio 60 far weaker than anything else you've done. Sorry, what were we talking about?
  • I like it so much, I'm gonna take it out behind the Middle School and get it pregnint! Heh.
  • I can't ever remember which is which (30 Rock & Studio 60). I know one has Matthew Perry and one has Alec Baldwin. I'm pretty sure that the one with Alec is better.
  • It is. 30 Rock is 30 minutes long. Studio 60 is 60 minutes. Not that you need to remember the distinction for long, since Studio 60 is circling in the toilet.
  • In an ideal world, all shows with numbers in their name would be that many minutes long. Think: 24, The X Files, 7th Heaven, Six Feet Under, Third Rock from the Sun, Two and a Half Men, Jake 2.0, One Tree Hill, ...
  • I'm quite enjoying 30 Rock. It's filling the void left by Arrested Development. A great character-driven comedy. It's not as good as AD was, shurely, but it's quite clever and chancey. Far more so than Studio 60, which was a total dud. Studio 60 was strong coming out of the gate (if not with ratings), but it seems like Sorkin started coasting quickly. I care less and less with each episode, and they've already started the Very Special Studio 60 in which Matt gets his drug problem. It's on the outs, if The Black Donnellys does better in the slot. Given the premiere, I'm guessing it will. 30 Rock consistently makes me lose my shit. Very little on TV makes me laugh that hard lately. And if you'd asked me at the beginning of the season, I would have predicted that Sorkin would kick its ass.
  • I tried to like Studio 60, I really did. I just never bought into the dynamic of Matt Perry and the religious woman, much less why that woman would be on the show in the first place. Everything just felt waaaaaaaaaay too contrived (and yes, I'm aware of how dumb a statement that is). And the skits were just 100% unfunny. Sorkin can write banter that's funny, but couldn't come up with a half-decent skit. Apparently, they brought in Kid in the Hall McKinney after I stopped watching, so maybe that's changed. So many of the show's parts just didn't fit. Particularly Amanda Peet. She played it well, but -- yeah. 30 Rock just keeps getting sharper and sharper. I think it was the gambling episode that finally locked it as must-see-tv for me, with Baldwin competing against the blank-slate page. The show works fast and unpredictably, and forces you to pay close attention. It'll never last. I refuse to watch the Black Donnellys on principle, as it has nothing to do with the Black Donnellys. Why buddy lifted the name, I have no idea. Why no-one has made something from that rich bit of history, I have no idea either. Huh.
  • As I was browsing StarChoice's on-screen guide the other night I saw "The Black Donnellys" listed and figured it was some cheesy CBC documentary of the original Donnellys the Capt mentioned. Needless to say, I passed it by without another thought. 30-Rock sounds interesting, but I try to avoid any show (24, Lost, etc) that gets described as must-see precisely because I don't want to schedule my life around some show I can't live without.
  • Sorkin can write banter that's funny, but couldn't come up with a half-decent skit. That's the show's weakest point, I think. The show part of Sports Night worked because Sorkin both knows a lot about and deeply loves sports, and it shows. Same with The West Wing and politics. But with comedy, other than the banter, he's like those people who are excellent at criticizing and teaching good writing, but can't write a short story to save their lives. Part of the problem is he constantly trips over his overwhelming desire to Educate You About Something I Know. This is frequently a problem with the writing in his shows, that it sometimes gets self-congratulatory. Sometimes it's like he's shouting "Look how smart I am!" The gambling episode of 30Rock was genius. The page is just a fantastic character, and it seems like every episode reveals another bizarre layer to him. And I'm glad to see that it (and SNL) have finally made Alec Baldwin famous for comedy. I've long thought he was just about the most underrated comedic actor alive. The Black Donnellys wasn't bad on the whole, name co-opting or no. Pretty riveting there toward the end, but I was also watching it and thinking "Scorsese's already done this, and he did it better."
  • I don't watch TV any more. And it's all the Unterweb's fault. Of course, my not watching the TV any more drives the rest of the world crazy, and I have nothing to talk about...
  • That's a good one, fuyu, but he links to the one I was thinking of: Polite Dissent, not just about House but comics and other stuff. There's a small link to House-related medical stuff in his sidebar. I just discovered that if you try to click on a comment during preview mode to get the URL of said comment, the URL is broken and will not get you to the comment. Huh. Wonder if it's always been broken.
  • Ideal world, fuyugare? Think "Six Million Dollar Man".
  • So I was on a plane this morning and picked up an inflight mag. There I beheld an ad for Britney Spears In Control perfume...
  • Ohhh crap . . allriiight take two. Now do try to smile, dearie: Action! It's a little cuddly engorged orb!
  • Ouch Embarrassing. God-awful. Painful. Excruciating. Britney Spears' performance was dismissed by many. "Look at her," said one observer. "She's barely moving." Those are but a few of the words that audience members used to describe Britney Spears ill-fated "comeback" performance at the MTV Video Awards at Las Vegas' Palms Hotel Sunday evening. When Spears hit the stage the crowd roared. Moments later many were staring in stunned silence. Train wrecks have a way of doing that to people.
  • Made lots of money? Good. Now you can afford to stay out of the spotlight. Please Britney, for you and us.
  • Host Sarah Silverman on Britney: "She is amazing. I mean, she is 25 years old and she's already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life." "It's weird to think that just a few years ago on this very show, she was this, like, sweet innocent little girl in slutty clothes writhing around with a python. That's not nice, calling Madonna a python" [on Britney's kids] "Oh my god, they are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see. They are as cute as the hairless vagina they came out of."
  • Does that mean she'll go away now?
  • It just means those head-shaving, photographer-attacking, shitface-wasted-clubhopping videos were the beginning of the smear down the pop culture wall. She's got a drug & drinking problem, and the irony is that her squeaky-clean-I'm-a-virgin-but-so-hot marketing is biting her fattened ass. We loves us some irony. (Or is it poetic justice?) But dang that's sad.
  • Britney was bad, yes. But 'fat'? Wow. This. Is. CNN. And it has "bulging britney" in the URL even. Oy. Where to begin? Okay, first off, the woman is high on drugs in front of 7 million people. Mmkay? Weight is not the issue, per se. Secondly, her entire career has made people like her (now) feel bad about their weight. It's almost too ironic to support itself as a concept. But hey - let's watch! The consensus is clear: Britney Spears performed like she was sloshing blindfolded through mud at MTV's Video Music Awards. No one disputes that the troubled pop princess royally mangled her much-heralded comeback. But what about the nastiest comments of all -- those about her body? Yes, it never was the talent was it. Seriously. There are very talented singers & dancers out there who won't make it due in large part to the Britney curve, so to speak. Was it fair? Did Spears, lest we forget a mother of two, deserve to be held up against the standard of her once fantastically toned abs Logical frameworks begin to break down about here . . "Britney Spears has always been about the whole package. It's never been 100 percent about the talent. Is it sexist? Probably, but she's built a career on an image of sexiness." Wow. And you wonder why the terrists is winnig. But the single of "Gimme More," the song she destroyed onstage, is off to a great start in the Top 40 And that's the way it is. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.
  • But the single of "Gimme More," the song she destroyed onstage, is off to a great start in the Top 40 Well, let's have a look at that top 40, shall we? See anything good? Anything at all? Yeah...me either. Britney's not the problem.
  • I see Ryan Seacrest -- he's dreamy! He can dunkle my man anytime!
  • Ah, here's the one I was looking for- A Shattered Nation Longs to Care About Stupid Bullshit Again Maybe this means the ter'rists are defeated.
  • I did see a headline on CNBC yesterday that said, Capitalism defeats Terrorism! I felt mighty good after seeing that bit 'o news... Yesiree Bob!
  • See anything good? Anything at all? Actually I think Kanye West makes some nifty sounds, and you'd be surprised at how good the Justin Timberlake record is. *Ducks* Your point remains very very well taken, though.
  • Britney Dropped by Her Management Company I'm seeing a made-for-TV movie! It's gonna be big! The kids will eat it up!
  • Britney faces hit-and-run charges Oops, etc etc.
  • Here on Britwatch...
  • Visitaton rights restored, as long as a "parenting coach" is present Ha! H-dogg isn't even sniffin' around this story! Totally pWnX0r3D!
  • Oh, F!@% Briteny! Who cares? WAIT!! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!! DON'T F!@% Britney, she might get embiggended again.
  • Hmmm. I wonder where your cat is, petebest?
  • Don't tell kamus & squiddy about this thread.
  • Abigail will NOT be watching that episode!
  • Singing a version of her hit song “Toxic”, with lyrics changed to be more kid-friendly ARGH! This will not stand, man!
  • Lox-ick! ?
  • Britney's monthly clothes budget? $16,000. (Not including panties.)
  • ...the Toxic singer is ‘definitely pregnant’ following a brief fling with a dancer. "But I only put it in a little..."
  • Doesn'nt she have enough money to move to Montreal or someplace out of that scene and out of the limelight until she gets her shit together? She's never had any experience living a normal, healthy life; I don't suppose we should be surprised that she doesn't have any idea how to give her kids one.
  • Brit's baby sis 'bout to be bigger with a baby. I'm not saying that the skank apple doesn't fall far from the skank tree... OK, I am sayin'.
  • "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she told the magazine. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in." Maybe she should have tried a different position. Hey-O!
  • That abstinence-only sex ed is going great!
  • "I have no problem at all with nailing adults who sleep with children, but I have a problem with the prosecution of teenagers in consensual relationships." Poor word choice, shurely.
  • From the "How do you talk to your kids about Britney's sister" thingy off of Pete's linky link: "I'm hoping her father and I can sit her down and explain that sometimes we make poor choices and we are responsible for the consequences. Hopefully citing examples of when she's told a lie and gotten caught and the upcoming birth of her brother will help to clarify our discussion." Umm, I'm hoping the lying and upcoming birth are unrelated events. "I'm a 24-year-old mother, and my sister became a mom for the first time at 16. Her second son was born when she was 19. All you can do is educate your children. If you tell them what not to do, they'll do it." Like when people told your sister "learn from your mistake, don't be a teenage mother twice over?" "I really hope all those girls watching Nickelodeon won't try to follow in her footsteps." Perhaps it's not the 'trying' that's of real concern, here.
  • "What this case should focus the nation on is having a more evenhanded approach to these cases." I can definitely see having a more evenhanded approach to how the laws related to the cases are written. But I think that there are so very many variables between cases that when it comes down to applying those laws, evaluating each case on its pwn circumstances is essential.
  • "I'm a 24-year-old mother, and my sister became a mom for the first time at 16. Her second son was born when she was 19." Sounds like someone made taking care of that first baby just a bit too easy on the mother. I know that will sound hearltess and anti-baby to some readers. And no, I haven't walked a mile in your uterus.
  • I'll bet she didn't even have to do that bag-of-sugar assignment, either.
  • Fortunately, this closes the book on the whole tales-of-strange-trashery from the Britney camp. Everyone lives quietly and without incident after. /refresh
  • It's a bit like an old cliffhanger movie: can things possibly get any worse for the Spears gang?! Tune in tomorrow!
  • Mother Renault was actually commenting yesterday how K-Fed "bought himself a suit and became a proper young man". At least she hasn't mentioned her crush on Timberlake in a while...
  • The same drama is playing out all over the US, and all over the world. Except in those cases the people involved aren't millionaires. The Spears clan don't have problems. Not real ones, anyway.
  • Apart from mutated chromosomes.
  • Well except for drug addiction and/or depression issues. And teen pregnancy. And crazy parents. And child custody problems. Paparazzi loss-of-privacy. Paris-Hilton-has-your-phone-number issues.
  • But not real ones.
  • It's hard to take seriously when they're so good at putting themselves in the spotlight, though. Any attention is good attention, presumably. I know a lot of people are talking about how this pregnancy will glamourise teen pregnancy in general, but, uh, surely a) parents are not idiots and are actually teaching their children well, not relying on TV to educate them and b) that will happen only with the help of the media, who will surely not be interested in one silly/irresponsible teenager? *cries*
  • a) parents are not idiots and are actually teaching their children well, not relying on TV to educate them *deadpan*
  • OK...let me rephrase. The Spears girl's teen pregancy is far less concerning to me than the thousands of others out there. Jamie Lynn can afford a live-in nanny. I'm sure her 'lifestyle' won't suffer too badly.
  • I dunno, being well-off by itself doesn't make a good environment to grow up in. That's why the judge took away Britney's kids. 16 isn't old enough to know much about anything except how to breathe. Well, even that's debatable.
  • They seem like the Roaring Twenties all over again, except with different drugs. Voe-dodio-doe.
  • Lessons learned.
  • The sad part about fame and fortune lifting the Spears sisters out of the trailer park is that had it not been for that good fortune, odds are high that both girls' babies would have the same father.
  • I read that as odors are high.
  • I'm sure her 'lifestyle' won't suffer too badly. No doubt that played a part in her decision to keep it as well. Would have been perfectly possible for her to go for a "vacation" in "Switzerland" for a week, and no-one would have been the wiser as to a pregnancy. So full marks for coming forward and keeping the baby in the face of that kind of scrutiny. Doesn't mean I won't stop mocking all concerned, though.
  • MonkeyFilter: like the Roaring Twenties all over again, except with different drugs.
  • full marks for coming forward I doubt it really occurred to her to try and keep it quiet. In other news, Christians Hail, Condemn Young Spears' Preganancy "We should commend girls like Jamie Lynn Spears for making a courageous decision to have the baby. On the other hand, there's nothing glamorous or fun about being an unwed teen mother,” How very.
  • I doubt it really occurred to her to try and keep it quiet. Ah here we go: OK! has agreed to pay $1 million to the younger Spears for a photo shoot when the child is born. That. is. so. sweet. *honk*
  • OK -- scratch what I said. I take it all back.
  • OMG Amblintzes! "Chaotic" doesn't even begin to describe the clusterf**k that went on around Britney Spears' home tonight as the popwreck was taken away to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in an ambulance. I dunno, I think it begins to describe it pretty well. Man, paparazzi are just nutty.
  • Pitcher! Everyone looks good in a Sheinhardt!
  • Aw, jeez. At least the kids aren't poor/will have health care/will go to school/etc. I.e. at least they'll have a fighting chance to turn out okay.
  • As long as they have a good nanny.
  • Only four days into it and she's already spoiled her chance for Mom of the Year.
  • Society is to blame. Well, and the drugs.
  • You know what I blame this on the downfall of? That's right, society.
  • Let's go get sushi and not pay.
  • It happens sometimes, people just explode. Natural causes.
  • Personally, I'm just going to enjoy the ride. Slim Pickens taught me that.
  • .... hemisphere .... hemisphere .... you know, I do feel funny.
  • Everything's gonna be O.K! Dr. Phil's on the case!
  • Poor woman has enough problems...
  • Kid should take whatever money she's got saved up and move to Montreal or Sweden or Someplace That Is Not LA. Reality sets in, bringing sanity with it.
  • I don't think they HAVE trailer parks in Montreal or Sweden.
  • I see the "Dr", in planning to talk about Ms Spears on his internationally broadcast chat-show, has no working concept of confidentiality. She deserves something better.
  • Why the quotes? He's a real doctor.
  • A real doctor, suspended from practice, yes.
  • Dr. Phil cancels show devoted to Britney. So he wasn't hired, then.
  • Alcoholism and drug addiction are a disease, a young life horrifically skewed is a potential result of enormous fame, and extremely bad lifestyle choices are commonplace. So maybe Britney gets a base on balls. On the other hand, leveraging your professional calling to become a "celebrity" professional is calculating, swooping down on the hot gossip story of the day under the guise of caring is gross hypocrisy, and trying to book a show about same in order to further fatten your wallet is naked exploitation. Dr. Phil, you are an asshole of the highest degree.
  • Ralphie speaks the truth.
  • Between Oprah and Britney, damned if the bald fucker doesn't know his coattails!
  • I feel nothing but pity for the poor girl. And I say "girl," partly because I'm just old enough to think of a woman of 25 as a girl, and partly because she never got the fucking chance to grow up, exploited by the uncaring adults around her who should have fucking known better. Yes, now it's up to her to pull herself together and grow up as best she can, overnight and under her own steam. Mind you, she has the money and resources to do it, which a lot of girls in the same situation don't have.
  • And why do I care? I don;t really, except that she's become a sort of avatar for all the fucked-up girls out there
  • Britney Spears' suicide threat: Troubled Britney Spears has allegedly threatened to commit suicide if she is forced into psychiatric care by her parents. It'd be harder to commit suicide inside the looney bin than out of it, right? So... for the parents, it's worth a shot. Some peace and quiet and no cellphone or paparazzi wouldn't be the worst idea. Catch up on some reading, work on that 2,000 piece puzzle you've been ignoring... It's not like she'd go to a state hospital -- she can afford something nice in the Swiss alps. Hang out there, get in some therapy and a spa cure -- s'allright.
  • Would that make Kevin Federline the new Courtney Love?
  • And to bring a touch of class to the thread: Predict when Britney is going to die, and win yourself a PS3.
  • Ooh, classy, indeed! (Also, be warned that the infamous Britney bajingo snapshot is on that page, so it's NSFW.)
  • Mr. Bajingo. Mr. Bajingo. Mr. Bajingo, Dance.
  • Naked Shopping! Public Schtupping! When Britney and Adnan stumbled out, Britney mumbled something unintelligible. "I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent," says the employee. "Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy. I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone. Dr. Drew sez: Follwoing the Anna Nicole blueprint
  • I wouldn't have imagined that salesclerks in a Betsey Johnson store would be so touchy. Huh.
  • Usually when I saunter out of the Betsey Johnson dressing rooms naked, I usually get a wink and the ol' thumbs-up from the salesclerks.
  • The guy she's with has a little . . thing on his . . on his chin right there . . riiiight . . ah. Paparazzi booked for following too close What? It's a slow news day.
  • Dr. Phil may be guilty of not being a real Doctor? Really? No Sir! and apparently his visit didn't help the Britster, neither.
  • just rambling and confused the “scantily clad” pop star showed up at a Beverly Hills elementary school, saying she was there to pick up someone else’s kids. This just in: The new accent is Chinese and Spanish. Take a memo, kids.
  • Pop star Britney Spears was taken to a hospital early Thursday to get help, a law-enforcement official in Los Angeles told CNN. The group at Spears' house included plainclothes officers, motorcycle police, ambulance crews and some police "brass," the official said. It took the better part of the day to arrange the transport plan, the officer said. Maybe she's just trying to meet cute young doctor-type men. Did anyone think of that?
  • And because I don't know where else to put this: Christina Ricci sexually assaulted by a chimp.
  • "Finally they got him off me but my fear is completely validated and I did not go near him for the rest of the shoot. Monkeys are crazy and you never what they'll grab onto" too true.
  • The Rambert Dance Company, no less, to perform Meltdown, a modern ballet about the life of Britney Spears. "There is a lot of writhing," admits [choreographer Hubert] Essakow.
  • "Monkeys are crazy and you never what they'll grab onto" To be completely crass for a moment, if I may, there's not too much to grab onto, as opposed to her Opposite of Sex days. Thanks a LOT, anorexia...
  • Chim Chim?
  • MonkeyFilter: Monkeys are crazy and you never what they'll grab onto. MonkeyFilter: There is a lot of writhing. Oh, yeah!
  • Shame on you, GramMa, you missed MonkeyFilter: My fear is completely validated.
  • In a profane outburst, Spears promised to battle her parents in court. "Nobody's taking my house," she reportedly screamed. "Who is my family?" You know who could help. And it rhymes with "Willie Ruggum". Just sayin' we could tie a couple of these threads together, that's all.
  • Silly Smuggum?
  • Hilly Tuggums?
  • Turns out that Britney's A-OK -- it's all her manager's fault. That brute!
  • everytime this thread is in the sidebar I immediately thing its going to be an announcement of her death.
  • gk
  • Parents fear for Britney's life. I'm no fan of Ms. Spears but the description of her driving around upon premature release from a treatment facility with the paparazzi snapping photos at every red light certainly evokes sympathy. I understand the "public figure" argument but surely there ought to be a legal way to limit the harassment these people are perpetrating. It seems that the worse her life becomes, the more intense and aggressive these bloodsucking assholes become.
  • They're powered by the same machine that makes this thread exist.
  • Seems her parents want to take her back to Louisiana. I'm all for her getting out of Dodge, but I think her parents are half the reason she's so messed up.
  • They're powered by the same machine that makes this thread exist. I'm not sure I agree. I've heard this argument before. Does it follow that discussing the cult of celebrity in a critical manner feeds the beast that creates it? By that reasoning, one could never discuss it at all without the problem becoming worse. Sure, some/a lot of the interest in Britney et al, even within this thread, is fueled by the titillation of our prurient interests. OTOH, this phenomenon is a cultural cancer and surely deserves serious discussion (and even better but vastly more unlikely, a solution). More directly, how is this thread empowering more paparazzi to go out and snap invasive pics. I understand what you're trying to say but I fear that it's going too far to suggest that any discussion of the problem makes it worse.
  • We're not discussing a problem. We're discussing a celebrity. If it was any other girl with the same problem it wouldn't keep popping up on the sidebar every time the "Entertainment News" (read: Celebrity Gossip Column) runs a story on her. I don't think we're as detached from this issue as you think we are.
  • Point taken-well, I at least I thought I was discussing a problem .
  • Monkeyfilter: fueled by the titillation of our prurient interests.
  • Well, if it's from BANG Media International, it has to be true.
  • So out of all the threads I've posted, this is the one that's headed toward immortality? Fantastic.
  • The thing about Britney is that everyone has something to say about her. It's one of those conversational topics that transcends race, gender, age, class, income... talking about Britney is the great equalizer. Her derail potential is unstoppable.
  • K-Fed gets the boys, plus court costs. $375K? That's it? For that kind of aggro? Pfft.
  • Keef warns a troubled Amy Winehouse. You know it's serious when...
  • If she ends up with scars, she can just cover them with more fugly tattoos.
  • The Daily Mail is a seriously depressing newspaper.
  • Crossing the streams of crazy: Britney hanging out with Mel Gibson.
  • The Daily Mail is a seriously depressing newspaper sensationalist fascist rag. Fixed that for ya.
  • Because I have no idea where else to put this: Mini-Me sex tape pulled from site.
  • Monkeyfilter Sodomy Excuse #43: "Because I have no idea where else to put this".