February 22, 2007
Chimps Observed Making Their Own Weapons
Chimpanzees living in the West African savannah have been observed fashioning deadly spears...
Fascinating yet disturbing. Also, this just about conclusively proves that we are indeed descended from the apes.
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And if they take the still-speared animal and roast it over a BBQ grill while drinking a beer and wearing an apron with a funny saying, it will definitely conclusively prove that we are descended from apes!
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Get your sharpened stick out of me, you damn dirty ape!
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Sure, that's what you say this morning.
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Did researchers look around for strange monolyths or some shiny-assed robot?
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I see the monolith I ordered has arrived.
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Damn you Flagpole!!
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OMG, it's started HERE, too! *screechs, runs away from Koko's pointy stick*
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I've been pointening my stick all day! Bring on the hairless ones.
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*secures his WORLD'S GREATEST SILVERBACK apron*
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Apparently they started with their own website and evolved up to pointy sticks.
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Just because nobody watches doesn't mean Chimps don't use tools. And are you boys fighting AGAIN?? Put down those sticks or yer GramMa's gonna whack ya one!
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I'm afraid I have to censor the title in case a filthy human finds it and realises the truth. You damn dirty apes.
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I believe the chimps will stop their wood enrichment program if we do likewise.
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We can still take 'em if we're quick.
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It seems to be an extension/adaptation of "termite fishing" observed initially by Jane Goodall.
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There are bonobos that mix up vats of chlorine gas in a remote corner of the DRC, too. That is, when they stop fucking.
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We have to fight them over THERE so we don't have to fight them over HERE!
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SB -har!
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"Termite fishing". Sure, that's what they'd like you to believe. Meanwhile, they're building aircraft carriers out of coconuts and missile launchers out of banana peels. Those filthy chipms, I mean.
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The chimps suck, too.
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Meanwhile, they're building aircraft carriers out of coconuts and missile launchers out of banana peels. Perhaps if one of these chimps were on Gilligan's Island instead of that retard, the Professor, they would have been able to fix the damn boat.
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Even among chimps, the pen is mightier than the sword!
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hehe "pen is"
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This just in... Chimps Are Out-Evolving Humans.
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For Christ's sake, that must be worth an FPP by itself. There's hope for us all yet.
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Chimps Spotted Using Caves, Like Early Humans
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Chimps share altruistic capacity with people
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Orangutan attempts to hunt fish with spear
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Chimps attack people after habitat loss
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I say we arm 'em!