February 19, 2007

"Don't kiss her till she has carried out her duties," writes the cad of the kitchen, in his manual of cookery and seduction.
posted by some wander by mistake 17 years ago
  • Quite right.
  • Come and unpeel my banana, darling!
  • unpeel? *flings poo, poo falls on his head*
  • Generation that built the nation. Gin and pie-lids all round!
  • What a beautiful. hilarious, heartbreaking story. Good on ya, old Bill.
  • Woman! Come and top my pie! Crimp my pastries! Do not shy Away from these small kitchen tasks! Chop my parsley! Fill my flasks With gin - and when I quickly drink it Fill them up again! You think it Neither meet nor sweet that I Should use you thus? Well, "Pah!" says I! Man was made for fishing, hunting, Cutting up a sheep while grunting, And other tasks for which he's fit. Could women do these? Not a bit! Woman is a gentle creature And, in cooking, she should feature In just the jobs for which she's made She should not usurp, invade, Or seek to take the role of man T'was law from when the world began! Eh? What's that? A rolling pin? A kitchen knife your holding in Your hand? And in your eye a look Of hate! But, dear, within this book It says to treat you thus - that's how This gentleman of old was - OW! Wait - just a minute, darling dear - I was but - OUCH! - My ear! My ear! You've struck me on the head, my sweet! No-OUCH!- you're stamping on my feet! OK - OK - 'twas but a jest! A joke, a jape - please don't protest! I'll crimp the pastry, top the pie Myself - just sit down here and I Shall bring to you a G-and-T But please, my dear, just don't hit me!
  • *standing ovulation*
  • *sighs and waits impatiently waits for her drink*
  • *applesauces wildly*
  • Bra vol!
  • Quid and Rocket, a saucy pair indeed.
  • Allez cuisine!
  • *bangs pots and pans in appreciation*
  • Oh, so you've named them?
  • Squeegee, please.