February 12, 2007

Card companies now selling both the poison and the cure. Not rich enough selling Valentine's Day cards and pocketing some of the individual's average $92.30 spent each year, some greeting card companies are now aiming for the Anti-Valentine's Day crowd. Aah, the ironies of Capitalism...
posted by Capt. Renault 17 years ago
  • *looks at FTD shopping cart* *winces* *deletes puppy and balloon boquet*
  • I seent some of the anti-valentines valentines this weekend. Made me wanna stomp, curse & fart, it did. But then I heard a special on the radio playing the stories of people in the civil rights movement who actually suffered huge injustices just to be able to vote. Then I felt like a moran. But the cards are still stupid so there! *Pbtthh!*
  • Puppy bouquet?
  • I don't know where to begin with this one. Maybe next year they'll put out a line of Hanukkah cards for Anti-Semites.
  • More on Anti V-D Day here. J. More, the author of the Anti-Valentine's Handbook [...] suggests that Valentine's Day is actually worse if you're in a relationship, because it's extremely stressful. "If you're alone on Valentine's Day, you don't have that pressure." Uh huh. Right.
  • Mr. More's got something there. I'd could say a couple breakups were indirectly caused, or beagn to unfolded due to that blasted day. In a way, it's a good test to see how that person beside you is gonna react to the over-commercialization and pressure to 'follow the rules' instigated by that celebration. Just look at the desperation and awkwardness of couples that day, trying to do what one is supposed to be doing, specially young ones. Watch the crowded restaurants and, eh, other places. Seems almost funny when you're single. *sob*
  • And besides, everybody knows Valentine's Day is based on the Roman Horny Werewolf's Day.
  • Huh. My wife thinks V-day is yet another greeting card holiday. The sad thing about it is that, if not for Sweetest Day, Secretaries Day, Third Cousin Twice Removed Day, ad nauseum, we might actually buy more V-day cards rather than be burned out on cards altogether. The card companies seem to have saturated the market with meaningless "holidays", and are left with no option other than to compete with the fruits of their own bastard marketing schemes in vain attempts to sell cards for the "real" holidays. (Kind of like how I love pumpkin pie, but don't make it except for Thanksgiving and Christmas, because it seems more special to wait for it than to have it every day - I wouldn't care for it so much if I had it all the time.) I don't feel bad for them. Is that making sense to anyone besides me, or am I just overcaffeinated?
  • And not a single Flying-bullets-of-mind-semen Day card.
  • Or "Cheap Chocolate for Spinsters Day."
  • Roses are red Violets are blue I've had your mum And she was crap too.
  • So who's starting the monkey valentine thread? Snot gonna be me.
  • Violets are blue Roses are red You dropped your Viagra Under my bed
  • Roses are red Like a Valentine's bow Perhaps TUM got a visit From Cap't Renault?
  • Roses are red, But BLOOD IS MUCH REDDER! Since they changed my meds, I'm feeling MUCH BETTER.
  • Roses are red Violets are violet That being said I can't believe nobody's ever noticed that before.
  • Roses are red, Your lips are now blue. I think I shall visit My pig farm with you.
  • Roses are red And their thorns are a bitch. Goetter'd better watch out For the cop prison snitch.
  • Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF In Comic Sans verses I proclaim my twuu wuvv
  • Roses are blue Violets are red Some screw is loose in my head
  • Roses are red Violets are blue I'm tired of this Are you Monkeys finished?
  • NO!!! Roses are red Violets are blue I've got an STD Now you've got one too
  • Roses come in many colours And violets do too Let's celebrate our differences And have a nice cup of tea made from organic fair trade tea leaves and soy milk.
  • Daisies are white Pansies are pink-o I shot a hippie And carved him up in the sink-o
  • I have a monkey crush To reveal it would be loco 'Cause Simian XX Would learn I lust for Koko.
  • Busted!
  • Cats are great But Dogs are better If I could knit I would make you a sweater
  • If monkey lurv for you Were a lotta pee I think Id be a Medusarita *splosh* Whoops!
  • Roses are grey And violets are brighter. Monochromacy Is no laughing matter.