February 06, 2007

• Uh, that link seems to be a little dodgy. Try this one.
• Astronut!
• Among the many odd twists to this story: she wore diapers during the 12-hour drive so she wouldn't have to stop as often. This is an option that simply would not have occured to me. Must be the astronaut training.
• Space Cadet!
• It's the moments of clarity that kill you.
• I find this story heartbreaking. I feel for this woman; now she's embarassed herself and her family, on top of suffering from unrequited love. On the other hand, as smitten as you are, there has to be a point where you ask yourself, "am I going too far?" The moment where she loads the tubing and garbage bags into the trunk, and dons the adult diapers, should have been that moment. I hope she gets counselling.
• Diaper? I almost killed 'er!
• It is sad. But also fascinating -- astronauts have this perception of being prime specimens of the human race, and this runs directly counter to that. Anyone with some psychological weakness is to be weeded out, and not get anywhere near the program. So what happened? Did she slip through? Did the pressures of the program itself lead to a mental break? Gossippy minds want to know.
• a wig, a trench coat, an air cartridge BB gun and pepper spray Not to mention 'a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags'. What exactly was the plan (or will I be a better and happier person not knowing?)??
• The moment where she loads the tubing and garbage bags into the trunk, and dons the adult diapers Indeed, these are not the actions of a "well" person. It sounds like counseling could have helped beforehand, although I'd bet she'll definitely have the opportunity for some now. In other news, "tubing" is a fun word to say. Tooooobing. Say it with an umlaut. Toeubing. Intertübes.
• Perhaps the pressure of being a prime specimen of the human race was too much. Or that of being a mother of three and and astronaut. de plegm in de tubes
• mother of three and and astronaut. I dunno, I'd have hoped by the second child and the awe-inspiring views of space, one would have resolved the need to kidnap someone to force a man to love them. This is why it seems possible that things went . . mmm . . awry in the ol' membrane. OOoh. Was it meth? Maybe it was meth.
• Lisa Marie Nowak [...] must wear a GPS, or global positioning satellite device... Umm, GPS is only good when one is actually on the globe, right?
• I second what Koko said. Also, now, thanks to petebest, I'm freaking out my coworkers by muttering "tyubing" (another fun way to say it) and "t(u with umlaut sound)bing." And in a related story, I'm less than dazzled by the gentleman deemed so desirable he's worth wearing diapers nearly 1000 miles for... she does need counseling indeed.
• It was...
• I say "tyoobing", but then I'm English. Astronut!
• Where's the "batshitinsane" tag when you need one?
• From looking at the *cough* article, and comments unter Das Blauhaus (when did they change their URL style?), I think more and more that it was crack or meth. 'Cause that ain't even crazy crazy. That's drug crazy.
• Interesting . . "but she obviously had some sort of plan." Yes she did, and I think you can make a pretty good guess at the main features of her plan from that weirdness about the diapers and the 900 mi drive. As someone upthread pointed out, she must have left Houston before the plane took off and timed her arrival in Orlando to meet it. She was counting on being seen in Houston and then getting to Orlando so fast that she would not have been a suspect because no one would have believed she could get there in that time interval. But that means she wasn't worried about being identified by the victim and that means she was planning a murder. posted by jamjam at 11:02 PM PST on February 5
• I'd have hoped by the second child and the awe-inspiring views of space, one would have resolved the need to kidnap someone to force a man to love them. Perhaps the final frontier is not space, but ........... love?
• Stubing.
• That's not Love, not even with a capital-L. That's K-R-A-C-K crack. Or something I hope. Sheesh that's sad. This comment from MeFi was also interesting (Okay, okay, sorry - last one:) You know what keeps hitting me? This woman is an astronaut. When I get over the initial bemusement about that fact, it leads to subfacts. She is far more intelligent and well-educated than I am. She's in far better physical shape than I am. She has more commitment, drive, and composure than I have. She's better at writing a resume, taking a job interview, following orders, and leading others than I am. And she had a job, the job, that we all fantasized about as children. And, apparently, she had a family. By any measure I can think of, she won at life and I lost. But then I just whipped her in the 4th quarter. posted by roll truck roll at 1:32 AM PST on February 6 [12 favorites] And also Astronaut to be charged with attempted murder
• She does look like a meth-head in that latest picture. Definitely a far cry from her cutie-pie NASA pic.
• This is the exact kind of story that I will be doing my best to avoid. However, I will say that I would laugh as a defense attorney if the state charged my client with attempted murder when the only overt physical act was to spray a person with mace. If the defendant were an ordinary person, then she would be charged with misdemeanors. Assault. Stalking, perhaps. Communicating threats, maybe. That's it. 2000 dollar bond. Plea to misdemeanor. Put on probation with a 45 day suspended sentence.
• - Sir, the internet hits for the space program are the highest in ten years. - And how's the spacecraft doing? - I dunno. All this equipment is just used to measure Google searches.
• Unlike my sticky friend, I will be paying close attention to this story. I really want to know more about the guy in the love triangle, whom he was really dating, if he was actually leading somebody on or what. Maybe he had too much Tang?
• Jeebus! What are they putting in the Tang now, anyway?
• Does "overt physical act" include: "wearing a hooded tan trench coat and black wig and, along with the BB gun, was carrying a four-inch folding buck knife, a new steel mallet, black gloves, rubber tubing, plastic garbage bags and about US$600 in cash." ? Plus the notes, emails, directions to the victim's house, and . . yes . . the diapers? jamjam's MeFi-copied comment above is pretty compelling, innit?
• I really want to know more about the guy in the love triangle Me too. So did he like her or not? I bet now he doesn't. And a week before Valentine's Day too! That's gotta hoit.
• Those tools shout "dismemberment" to me. Though next time she should add a bone saw to the list. I am embarrassed to admit that I really want a picture of The Other Woman.
• The "new" steel mallet is a nice twist. Maxwell's silver hammer and all that. Just that little extra helping of lunacy.
• Does "overt physical act" include: "wearing a hooded tan trench coat and black wig and, along with the BB gun, was carrying a four-inch folding buck knife, a new steel mallet, black gloves, rubber tubing, plastic garbage bags and about US$600 in cash." ? Not really. Depending on the law there, she might be able to be charged with carrying a concealed weapon. Again, that is a misdemeanor anywhere that I know. Attempted murder is making an attempt to murder someone. It is not planning to do it. It is not preparing to do it. It is, essentially, doing it and failing. The most harmful thing she did in this case was spray him with mace. Unless a jury believed that she though the mace would kill him and it is possible for mace to kill someone, then she is not guilty of attempted murder.
• Sprayed her with mace, wasn't it? I thought she attacked a rival female astronaut for the luurve of a third male astronaut.
• - Sir, the internet hits for the space program are the highest in ten years. - And how's the spacecraft doing? - I dunno. All this equipment is just used to measure Google searches. Close.
• Unless a jury believed that she though the mace would kill him and it is possible for mace to kill someone, then she is not guilty of attempted murder. I disagree, Counselor. If the jury believed that the macing was a disabling first strike, i.e. an overt act towards a homicide, and that the possession of those tools connoted an intent to kill and dispose of the body, then she could indeed be found guilty of Attempted murder.
• I will stake Capt. Renault's law license against a conviction for the Attempted Murder charge.
• I would bet that since the police filed that charge only because they were miffed about her being released on bail, it will be eventually dropped.
• the police filed that charge only because they were miffed about her being released on bail ? Where's it say that? Or words to that effect? I thought it (the murder theory above) was a pretty good point considering (if it's true) the flight left Houston where Ms. Nowak was before she drove to Orlando where it landed, with a bunch of suspicous gear in her car and assaulted the woman. If one goes to some lengths to kill another but then doesn't because the plan was foiled - there's no charges to bring? I'll see Louie's papers and raise you RalphTheDog's favorite beer mug that this story has legs, my friend. Legs!
• I will stake Capt. Renault's law license against a conviction for the Attempted Murder charge. Pfft. An easy bet -- like my law licence is worth anything. Average income for an Ontario lawyer is only 60K, and it's so easy to get even I could do it...
• *chips in to buy Louie a preview button*
• Jeebus! What are they putting in the Tang now, anyway? Poo.
• Astronut's favourite beverage: poo 'n' tang.
• Isn't that what conspiracy charges are for -- if you plan to do something but don't go through with it for whatever reason? Maybe Florida doesn't have a conspiracy statute, though. Some states don't have attempted murder laws either.
• Lisa enjoys bicycling, running, skeet, sailing, gourmet cooking, rubber stamps, crossword puzzles, piano, and African violets. And, oh yeah, kidnapping love rivals.
• Our seedy friend is right -- there won't be a conviction on Attempted Murder. Either the charge won't stick, or she'll be found not criminally responsible by reason of Space Madness.
• As stated in the MeFi thread: if a superfit, highly qualified, driven, thriving-under-pressure person like an astronaut can wreck her life over matters of the heart, guess I'm not doing that bad... *smug confidence boost*
• ¡¡¡!!!
• I hope Frances McDormand plays her in the movie. She could kick ass with that role.
• I hear her role is already cast... I know, I'm a terrible person.
• You're not a terrible person: I'm a terrible person. Got in touch with my inner stalker and learned entirely too much about Ms. Shipman the victim. She's a chemical engineering major from PSU, with classic nerdgirl looks as opposed to Ms. Nowak's All-American Astronaut appeal -- but thirteen years younger, which I suppose made Ms. Nowak insecure enough to strap on her space diapers and go mallet-crazy. It is all very sad.
• ? Where's it say that? Or words to that effect? It said it in one of the earlier versions of the Yahoo article. It's been updated now, and doesn't say it anymore. Revisionists!
• And, if I may paraphrase: MonkeyFilter: strap on your space diapers and go mallet-crazy
• Oh I drove from south of Houston Space diapers held my pee. I was goin' to Orlando-ana Where my true love fornickee. I felt so sane the day I left I was not drunk nor high. I brought knives and bags and mallets and 600 bucks, no lie. Oh my Spaceman Now don't you cheat on me 'Cause I come from fuckin' Houston With a diaper full of pee. I had a dream the other night, Decided I should kill The shrew that fucked you with her mouth The pepper spray does fill. Oh my Spaceman You shouldn't cheat, you see. You can orbit earth with anyone, But you're stuck with fucking me.
• I nominate the phrase below, from CNN's reporting of the story as the most confusingly-written law-related/auto mechanics-related sentence ever: Nowak, 43, had earlier posted a $15,500 bond on charges of attempted kidnapping, battery and attempted burglary of a car with battery. Oh, and very nice, Ralph.
• You people wait. I'm tellin' ya. Love? Pfft. Buncha Hallmark-addled bufforons. Nicely tuninated Ralph! Awful and terrible, but nice!
• Zero Gravity Dog
• I have no idea why I laughed at that as much as I did...
• Celine Dion: I drove all night, Crept in your room, Woke you from your sleep, To...
• Nicely crafted, RalphTheDog. *applauds by tapping table with shiny new mallet* And thanks, Flagpole, for clarifying just what it was that seemed so familiar about that mug shot. I'm hoping that Luke Wilson will be appearing as the apparently irresistable Mr. Oefelein.
• "Oh my Spaceman"?
• "When I'm president, I'll make my White House somewhere good. Not some hellhole like Crawford. That's where they insert the rectal thermometer into Texas." Heh heh. Ahh ol' Bill Lee. He's a character, y'know.
• "If I am remembered by anyone, I would want it to be as a guy who cared about the planet and the welfare of his fellow man. And who would take you out at second if the game was on the line." *sheds silent tear for beloved Expos*
• Astronaut showed strain before arrest. Warning: article features strained puns, lack of substantive detail.
• Man gets second chance at space ride. I hear there's an opening.
• Nowak, accustomed to wearing astronaut diapers during the space shuttle's launch and return to Earth, wore them on the drive from Houston so she would not have to make bathroom stops as she raced to confront Shipman at the Orlando International Airport, police said. Oooo Astronaut diapers eh? Wow. Thems fancy-nappies. I'm seeing a branding opportunitayyy!
• If they're used for launch and return, why would she have them at her house? Was that part of the pre-planning, or was it part of a take-home training assignment? Like the rest of the world, I want to know more about these diapers, and how they can be used humiliate a full-grown adult.
• The beeb's blurb 'bout busted beaming bios. Features photo of Oefelein which proves conclusively that he is not nearly the handsome sumbitch that Bill Lee is.
• "I think about the cosmic snowball theory. A few million years from now the sun will burn out and lose its gravitational pull. The earth will turn into a giant snowball and be hurled through space. When that happens it won’t matter if I get this guy out." "The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything." Aah, Spaceman. Your likes will not come our way again...
• Life imitates art: Behave. Last post from me at the expense of that poor woman, I swear...
• Do I HAVE to do this myself? OK, here we go: Does the diaper indicate a possible mental aberation? Depends.
• Hey, who leaked that joke? Sorry, couldn't resist.
• Is that 12 hours of urine in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
• Top Ten Signs An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill You 10. Says, "This is a giant leap for mankind" as she tosses you off a bridge 9. You turn on CNN and see the Hubble Telescope focusing on your house 8. She promises to "Take you out like Pluto" 7. It sounds crazy, but you could swear Mars is following you 6. You were on the "Maury" episode: "I Had A Booty Call And Now An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill Me" 5. Her previous attempts to kill you have been postponed due to high winds 4. She poisons your Tang 3. Says she looks forward to being the first to walk on your lifeless corpse 2. Been getting threatening emails from Connie@International Space Station.com 1. She keeps stabbing you with a pen that writes upside down
• Aah, this sad, overblown story is going to be with us for a long, long time... *rubs hands gleefully* "The issue here is not pussy. The issue here is monkey." -- Gus Grissom, The Right Stuff
• MonkeyFilter: The issue here is not pussy. The issue here is monkey.
• Thinking about pete's question if meth was involved, I was reminded of the four Canadians killed by friendly-fire in Afghanistan. Pilots may not be on meth as such, but Go-pills are regularly administered. Given her background as a Navy pilot, perhaps it's not unreasonable to think that she might have access to this stuff.
• Go pills . . yess, yess excellent point Captain. I shall take it under advisement! *adds another colored thumbtack to the wall chart, connects to another thumbtack with yarn*
• Koko: Normally, as the Self-proclaimed Royal Tagline Queen, I frown on paraphrasing. However... **YOU ROCK!** Just don't get carried away with your bad self
• you know it was only a matter of time.... jealousastronaut.com.
• NASA forces Nowak to resign, says it's no reflection on her innocence or guilt, only her being a total nutbar Space Cadet.
• They just started getting jumpy wondering what she brought to work every day in her trunk. And getting her to change those diapers. ICK
• I hear Dick Cheney's hiring . . .
• Yup, she ought to work out real well workin' for the Bush-Cheney cabal There is no cabal. There is no cabal. There is no cabal
• I was impressed that Tina Fey made a crack about the Space Cadet on 30 Rock last night. Her character, having fired a woman in accounting for being a love rival, spoke of the Astronut admirably, as a Woman With A Plan. Quite fun. And impressive -- that's a fast turnaround for a sitcom...
• Astronut asks to have ankle-bracelet removed, as it leaves a red mark or something. Also, first news story not to mention space-diapers.
• The Insanity Defense
• Maybe proving that she was whacked-out on pep pills is the way to go... 'Ordinary' stress of her family and work situation probably isn't going to do it, as her mental state would have no doubt been constantly monitored by NASA. But it's tricky to show that an act was a result of 'temporary insanity' rather than just plain ol' bad judgement.
• Boy those diapers should would come in handy in this instance.
• Looking at the photos -- why would lady astronauts have long hair? Wouldn't something short be a lot handier, with helmets coming on and off and zero-gravity-blowouts and such? Besides -- her haircut isn't a winner. Judging by that Mall Hair, I'd think she hasn't had a good stylin' since the mid-eighties. But I digress. Back to giggling about space-diapers.
• Looking at the pdf of her lawyer's brief on the insanity defense -- I'd think it's a tough go. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and Obsessive-Compulsiver Personality Disorder (whatever the difference is between the two), Asperger's -- those would be pre-existing conditions. How she could fly with those, I don't know (and maybe OCD isn't a bad thing for astronauts, thinking about it), but her handlers at NASA would no doubt have a close eye on her for freakout potential, if they were aware (and they would have had to have been aware) of those conditions. Other stuff, like the family problems -- fairly weak. To rely on the "Major Depressive Disorder, Single Episode, Severe" -- also tough. Again, her testing would have revealed a propensity for it, given her other conditions, and her handlers would have been on the lookout -- particularly given her significant and recent weight loss. The insomnia seems to be the only claim going for her, and even that's pretty weak. Insomnia-as-a-result-of-Go-pills would be a far better claim. Say she was under stress, she handled it poorly by popping the pills, and a massive chemical imbalance resulted. IMHO, YMMV.
• Yeah but this is America, Louis. Hell, the President invades a sovereign nation under false pretenses, scuttles the treasury doin' it, illegally wiretaps, admits that, condones torture, and when they ask what he would have done different he says he can't think of a thing. We don' need no steenkin' responsibility. OJ was framed by The Man, man!
• Perhaps the final frontier is not space, but ........... love? Does the diaper indicate a possible mental aberation? Depends. Thank you, Koko and GramMa. It'd been a long day of work, and these couple of good laughs were long overdue! Thank you.
• The Lisa Nowak Case, Back in Court.