January 29, 2007

• Being a poor student once myself, I made a huge bouquet of paper flowers to give to my beloved. Took me days to cut them all out. Got to be a fairly sizeable thing, and didn't look half-bad, if I say so myself. So something like that could be an option -- make a bouquet, and mail it out, with instructions that it is not to be opened until Valentine's. The labour-intensity and buildup of anticipation may make the gift better than the sum of its parts. (Went over like a lead balloon, as she supposedly "didn't realize we were dating", just screwing like crazed weasels at every opportunity, and that 'non-dating' thing was refuted anyway years later, but this is niether here nor there. The idea is good. The idea is sound.
• Ach. Wimmen, eh Louie? *pours two more*
• Well I say dump the old witch.
• Hah! I made my fiance a sock dog (red/black stripes, big lime-green button eyes) on our first Valentine's Day. I'd say that ideas would have to focus on Simian XY's predilections and skills.
• The labour-intensity and buildup of anticipation may make the gift better than the sum of its parts. Excuse me, I'm off to embroider this on my underwear.
• I vote for singing on her answering machine.
• I once had a hotel concierge deliver a bottle of champagne and box of donuts to my girlfriend, in NYC on business at the time. The donuts were quite the hit with her co-workers. Nowadays, nothing says "I love you" like a painstakingly photoshopped jpeg of your scrotum. Got to be a fairly sizeable thing, and didn't look half-bad, if I say so myself.
• Are you already in webcam contact? Is there any way for the roommates to arrange for a romantic dinner-for-one set up with a webcam (with you selecting the menu and music), and you could partake of the same arrangement/menu at your end, and thus the two of you have a nice dinner "together"? Not sure if candlelight is a good idea with webcams; you might have to experiment.
• Burn a compilation discs of romantic love songs and send them to her. Then listen to them online together.
• Cripes, fish tick beat me to it.
• I vote for singing on her answering machine. Just be sure not to be drunk. *sigh* Not sure if candlelight is a good idea with webcams; Just use your camcorder. Nightvision is your friend. Plus the almost-white-pupils-look is spooky.
• MonkeyFilter: I'm off to embroider this on my underwear. Embroidered underwear is always good. Of course you're going to send her a card, so make it the biggest and bestests card you can find. Write at least a three page letter telling her how much you miss her and how much you look forward to being with her. Stuff it all in an envelope with lots of sparkley hearts and stars confetti so that there's a big mess when she opens it, so she can think of you when she cleans all the sparkley stuff up. Appeal to all the senses: tunes, fine wine, candy, and a special food treat, some lovely scent--doesn't have to be perfume, maybe some essential oils, instead. Get her something silky--maybe a satin pellowcase, so she thinks of you at night. And a great book, maybe love poems, if she's into that. I <3 lovers.
• Why GramMa, you romantic rascal you!
• Captain, each and every day brings out more sordidness in your love history. Please don't stop!
• Also, what Grandma said. We girls love the big gesture. And a handwritten note is a huge gesture for most guys. And something big and sappy in a card.
• I've always been a sucker for a guy who makes me laugh. It may not be romantic in the classic sense of the word, but my knees get weak for teh funny. I say go for the embroidered underwear, really. It's brilliant. Embroidery floss and needles are cheap, and undies can be too if you stay away from Victoria's Secret. Just pencil on a picture of whatever design you want, and stitch over it. If it looks like crap, all the better.
• A USB plug going into a port!!!11!
• It's times like these when one wishes the internet plumbers would hurry up and perfect the Cupcake Transfer Protocol already. Buy a big bar of chocolate and an Exacta knife, cut her name into the surface of the chocolate, then send it to her. If it looks kind of rough and crude, that might be appealing too. Just don't get too much blood over your work.
• A USB plug going into a port!!!11! Simpletech!
• I <3 lovers Perhaps it is something that I don't understand in leetspeak, but why does GramMa consider herself to be less than three lovers? For what it's worth, I = .21 lovers.
• Tee hee! <3 It looks like boobies!
• Hmmm. If we only knew someone in Chicago to help you with your plans......
• well, i'm single and have been for a long time, but i can't for the life of me see how this (nsfw) wouldn't be well received by your paramour.
• oh wait, you wanted cheap, not dirty. sorry.
• GramMa: <3, >2.99999 *waggles eyebrows
• Oh Cheesy...... *shakes head*
• Simpletech! I hate you.
• i can't for the life of me see how this (nsfw) wouldn't be well received by your paramour You and me both, dude.
• Blood and Roses,,no really, ,,since I never,,am a part of any valentines celebration(cough,cough),, but I would think to prove your love, I would arrange for her to get strawberries and roses, and go donate some blood to Red Cross or someplace and send her your donation certificate.
• Or send her the blood.
• Captain, each and every day brings out more sordidness in your love history. It's nothing compared to the sordidness we could make together, Larababy, if you'd just give me the chance... Er, wait -- is that right? Let me think...
• Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
• Get a thread, you two!
• Hitchhike.
• Well, Siman XY? How'd it go?
• Yes, details please!