January 24, 2007

• I tried saying that name three times fast and I think I dislocated my jaw.
• *bows to the Gurbangulybashi*
• That's it. My next pet bird is going to be named "Gurbanguly Birdie".
• Beardy-mucky-hammy-dovey-bashi? I like it!
• Under Turkmenistan's constitution, the chairman of parliament should have assumed the role of acting president until a fresh election could be held. However, within hours of Mr Niyazov's death the prosecutor's office launched criminal proceedings against the incumbent speaker, Ovezgeldy Atayev, thereby rendering him ineligible for the role. Shortly afterwards a special commission headed by Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, a deputy prime minister and minister of healthcare and the pharmaceutical industry, was established to oversee the arrangements for Mr Niyazov's December 24th funeral. Mr Berdymukhammedov was also appointed acting president and supreme commander of the armed forces. Big Pharma put in the fix eh? *nods, pulls trenchcoat collar up*
• No, I'm sorry, but we can't have a President-For-Non-Eternal-Life whose name we can't pronounce. Denied.
• But, but, but, we could call him Gur-ban-guly-man, you know, Hans und Franz style. *flexes* Or Ghân-buri-Gurbânguly, the Wild Man of the Petroleum-Deposit-Laden Steppes. *gives up* *slinks away*
• It's a gift to the Turkmen Boy Scouts, though. Gurbang-guly guly guly guly Berdymuk, hammedov, hammedov; Gurbang-guly guly guly guly Berdymuk, hammedov, hammedov...
• I like him already!
• Gurgly-burgly Butter-hammer-kov? Yes sir, yes sir, mister Bees sir!
• Stop! It's Berdymukhammedov time.
• This should make it easier for us all, Tracicle: "Gurbanguly Mälikgulyýewiç Berdimuhammedow (often referred to in the Western media by his Russianized name: Гурбангулы Мяликгулыевич Бердымухаммедов Gurbanguly Myalikgulyyevich Berdymukhammedov"
• Berdymukhammedov time. Kvant touch this!
• *gurgly-burgles*
• Wait -- a dictator-dentist? I can't decide if that's terrible, or a source of Komedy Gold. Probably both.
• Perhaps the Hammedowburglar was the hidden genius behind the Bashi's gold-teeth-bashing.
• Is it safe?
• No.......yeaaaahhhurrrghhh!! I mean, yes.....
• I nominate Gurglebashi.
• Gurglebashi always spits after quaffing cockpunch. That is all.
• Thanks to this guy I was able to crush my opponent in Proper Name Scrabble last evening. 618 points, bitches.
• Gurlybashi.
• Errrrrrrr... Gore-bang-ghouly ... Birdy-muck-hammer-dove?
• Thank you thank you Pleg for this, it's exactly what's been going through my mind all day...
• if every lengthy name's Turkmenistanish the Bashigore-bing-goalie isn't Spanish
• "Election" time. Dagnabbit, bees, where are you?
• All six of Niyazov's potential successors are members of Turkmenistan's only political party - the Democratic Party - that was created by the late leader. All flavors are Coke All colors are black Henry Ford would approve such election Yet the turnout is large For Democracy's snack In Turkmenistan's fixed next selection Opposition's outlawed No dissenters permitted One party's assured victories But my secret ballot Has a poem substituted 'Cause my vote's for President Bees (Viva! Viva!)
• I don't think I would feel comfortable being governed by a former dentist.
• Slight hope for improvements.
• I was just coming to post that, tick. Here's hoping.
• Waiting for Beedot
• I've been waiting weeks now for someone to say "Have you seen about this crazy guy from Turkmenistan?", so I can cooly reply; "Oh, you mean Gurbangully Berdimukhammedov? Or did you mean the late Saparmurad Niyazov, by any chance?", but it's become clear it will never happen.
• Promising news, inbeed.
• Russian publishers holding first book show in Turkmenistan The Children’s Book Club and the Russian Association of Book Publishers organized the show with the support of the Turkmen Culture Ministry and the Russian embassy in Ashgabat... This is the first Russian book show in independent Turkmenistan, and it has attracted a record number of visitors. Textbooks are in the limelight. Woot!!
• Let the Bashigravedancing begin!
• Gurbanguly lifts the ban on foreign travel for Cabinet ministers. Lifting the travel ban would allow government officials to go abroad to study other countries' experiences in various fields. The education minister will be visiting Malaysia, the trade minister will go to Russia, and other senior government officials will be making trips to Kazakhstan, Belarus and Turkey this month. Gur-BANG!
• Tajikmanbashi takes up the slack? Meanwhile, Turkmenistan: cradle of civilisation?
• Lobby Shops for Turkmenistan: Will lie for money
• Gurbanguly announces: Winter Olympics, here we come! I'm predicting a silver medal in bobsledding...
• Can we send a team from Monkistan? Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease? Our bashi can tell their bashi what's what.
• Operas and circuses have been approved.
• Not sure how I missed this until now... Guest appearance by cockroach on evening news broadcast forces Gurbanguly to sack 30 workers from the State-run TV channel.
• Turkmenistan: Stranger in a very strange land
• He's dead. Get over it. Get reasonable.
• J-Lo serenades Turkmenbashi 2, is shocked at subsequent criticism "Had there been knowledge of human rights issues any kind, Jennifer would not have attended." *sends J-Lo link to mofi*
• J-Lo only reads the funny pages?