January 23, 2007

Cruise 'is Christ' of Scientology Made me laugh out loud at first. But then I realized that Tom's CGI guys could bring about much greater miracles than that tired old "feed the multitude" routine.
posted by orococo 17 years ago
  • Feeding the Multitude - brought to you by Burger King. that's how miracles would be reported now.
  • Well, as long as he's using the immortality device and taking his gorgeous pills, what could go wrong?
  • No, no. Keanu is THE ONE!
  • This reminds me of Survivor, by Chuck Palahniuk. And, of course, that South Park Scientology episode.
  • Um, I'm not from the UK or anything, but isn't The Sun kind of the equivalent of our National Enquirer?
  • A suitable medium for a serious Scientology story, in't it?
  • Lara, yes and no. In essence it is a full of BS as the National Enquirer, but in effect it shrowds itself with some respectability... and people buy it (in in both senses).
  • Isn't this taking Jesus Christ Superstar a bit too literally?
  • I don't know. It's not nearly as fun to yell "Tom H. Cruise!" or "Tom Fucking Cruise!" when I'm angry. It just doesn't have the same flow, ya know?
  • is this one of those things like pink being the new black?
  • Surely nailing him to a cross is going too far?
  • I tried out the two curses suggested by kittenhead above. I was surprised upon yelling "Tom Fucking Cruise" to discover that I was no longer wearing pants.
  • Travolta can not be happy about this. John Fucking Travolta!
  • Screw Tom Cruise. Fish Tick is on to something here! http://www.fadetoblack.com/wackorama/eternallife.html
  • A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. It would certainly explain a lot.
  • Oh, damn. Does that mean I've seen the saviour dancing in his underpants?
  • Well, are you a scientologist? If you're a Mormon he's only a prophet.
  • vitalorgnz: well, if you do it creatively, it may not be so bad...
  • Y'know, I kinda like the TFC and JFT curses. You can work up a lot of spit on the "T's." I think I'd draw the line at "Sonny Fuckin' Bono," though.
  • WTFWTCD?
  • Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure He's going to need a better beard. How many variations on that joke can I make? Stay tuned!
  • Of all the fairy tales cooked up to justify human existence, and all the predators out there eager to make use of same to part the populace from their hard-earned cash, Scientology has to be the biggest, most flagrantly materialistic racket EVER. That Cruise should be anointed savior somehow makes tons of sense. Anybody who's even thinking about taking any of it seriously should find out about their "spiritual healing for a price" concept. When will humans realize that a person's appearance in a film or on TV does not make their personal lives inherently important or interesting? *goes off to gaze dispiritedly at falling snow*
  • Ever? Oh, I don't know -- the fact that they built St. Peter's by selling indulgences seems to be fairly high on that list...
  • *starts rereading 95 Theses*
  • MonkeyFilter: The biggest, most flagrantly materialistic racket EVER.
  • Okay, Capt. Renault, you've got me there... Catholocism makes the Scientologists look like rank amateurs. *noisily squirts Cheez Whiz on hosts for snack*
  • WTFWTCD? O, Mighty Tracicracken, can you ban nunia? She's getting me in trouble at work with all the laughing. OKTHXBYE
  • Do not ye cast blame on me, Lady Lara. I am merely a victim of poor impulse control.
  • *Ignores cheez whiz, continues on to #37*