January 17, 2007

• You fell in love again??? Didn't you learn the first time? J/K. Personally, I think if it feels real, it is real. Now, go forth and nurture your growing sprout, just make sure not to overwater it!
• 1. It's not everything you think it is. You're projecting your images of the ideal onto your new love. 2. Which is fine and natural. It's what we do. Doesn't mean it ain't good. Advice: Ride the wave. Be prepared for the it's-perfect bubble to start showing cracks at some point. If you continue to make each feel and be better than you would feel and be without each other, work on understanding and dealing intelligently with those cracks. Meanwhile, don't spend too much time looking for ways to make it more difficult than it really is. Good luck!
• It's a nice feeling. Just dig it.
• But don't make it too permanent for a while. Long "engagements" have a purpose, especially in rebound situations. How do you know when it's getting broken? When the new lover doesn't meet the expectations you had of the old one. In the meantime, relax and be happy, but keep an eye on what you expect in case you need to adjust that.
• Seriously, don't worry until you have cause to. What's wrong with you?
• Oh, wait. Maybe there's something wrong with you. What's wrong with you? Oh crap.
• Never mind, never mind. Everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. Everything is just fine.
• A little too fine.
• Uh, oh. Something is wrong.
• Enjoy the high. Don't spoil it by worrying about the (possible, imminent, logical, illogical) down. When you find out his socks don't match his pants or something equally nefarious, deal with it. But don't ruin a perfectly good now.
• Well, hm. Having recently re-entered dating after a ten-year hiatus and having similarly found someone astonishingly fantastic in what seems a preposterously short time, I can sympathise with the phantom feeling of impending doom, aka the "other shoe" syndrome. Mine seems to be doing very well (knock on many various types of woods) after three months, despite all appearances which would lead even me, evaluating from the outside in, to objectively raise suspicions of a "rebound". Sure, "the honeymoon" is over now, but I've found the deficiencies to be not just tolerable, but perhaps even additive to the pleasure - in the sense that at least it feels more natural and I no longer have to wonder why it all looks so too-perfect. Bottom line is that my mother once said that being with someone for the long haul is not so much about finding someone whose assets you greatly treasure as much as finding someone whose faults you can accept. It's probably the best advice she's ever given and perhaps it can help you out as much as it has helped me in deciding where I stand. Good luck.
• I can't believe you're posting about us on the internets! *runs sobbing from room* But seriously, folks - it's perfectly natural for it to be roses and puppies and ponies at first. If, when that wears off you still love 'em, well - bingo!
• I love bingo! The dog that is, not the game. The game tries to trick me into doing things I don't want to do, like give it money. And since I'm the player, I must hate the game and not myself. This is what the therapist tells me, anyway. But the therapist reminds me of bingo. The game, not the dog. I love bingo!
• I second what path said - take more time than you think you need, just in case. Keep an eye out for things that you might not want to know about; they're difficult to spot at this stage! Good luck!
• I know precious little about relationships aside from how to mess them up, usually by worrying about what's going to go wrong, thus in itself causing something to go wrong. So don't worry about it. Ride it like an escaped ski going down the mountain.
• I typically watch escaped skis glide harmlessly down the mountain and call down to see if anyone can bring it up on the next chairlift ride. Not sure if that helps.
• All relationships are illusions. Just enjoy it while you can.
• Get married immediately. What's the worst that could happen?
• My advice is, if it's really still shiny new, then it's too late to tell if any relationship, rebound or not, is "real". But that's me.
• Make that "too soon". And somebody gimme some tylenol.
• Bliss followed by some sort of explosion. Do any monkeys have advice on how I can spot this phenomenon and avoid it? Tell him to think about baseball.
• QFTW!
• Monkeyfilter: Bliss followed by some sort of explosion.
• I don't like the word explosion there. No explodings. Tell 'em pete said. This is an 'igh-class operation 'ere. That's right out. Ta.
• Tell him to think about baseball. And more on Rosie O'Donnell than Madonna or a younger Geena Davis.
• I say milk him for all he's got, then dump him at the first sign of trouble. *watches more « les feux de l'amour » on TF1*
• Have a fun, but keep your bank account information to yourself. Besides, what's life without an explosion now and then to keep things lively? Once the dust settles you can sort it all out. Meanwhile, don't pass up any opportunity to feel good or to be in love.
• So, the message I'm getting here is 'stop worrying, but take things slow'. That seems like excellent advice. Thanks monkeys! and Insolent Chimp, thanks for the good advice about hating the game and not myself. In fact, I think I will ritually remove it from my life in song, one letter at a time.
• Personally, I don't believe in this so-called 'rebound' phenomenon. If you meet someone special right after a breakup, then be happy that you've met someone special. The fact that you've just gotten over someone else should be irrelevant. Enjoy.
• Eight years in with my own rebounder - and happy -I second rocket88.
• Get married immediately. What's the worst that could happen? Quality of life improving.
• huh?