December 23, 2006

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying
posted by HawthorneWingo 18 years ago
  • 16) Will you fart in bed then hold my head under the duvet (Dutch Oven)?
  • Aww man Mr Gomichild does that to me all the time... if only I had asked beforehand.....
  • 103) Will you gain a metric tonne in fat around your arse? 118) Will your face start looking like a severe burn victims arse? 143) Can I have your money when you're dead? 269) Will you wash your vag before I eat you out? 271) Will you still love me when I'm 64? 273) Can we spend Sundays spooning on the couch, eating chocolate and watching TV?
  • will you let me win all the fights?
  • I like the way that "Will there be a television in the bedroom?" is right up there with talking about kids and sexual compatability...
  • It does sound silly, but I can tell you that I would sleep in a closet before having a television in my bedroom. My wife and I actually discussed this while we were dating. Television is a lot more important to her. I imagine that there are others who feel like I do and I imagine there are those who can't function without one in their bedroom. I am glad that we had the discussion.
  • The only important question: Can I contemplate being able to stand this person for the rest of my life even though the answers to ALL these questions are likely to change? We weren't going to have kids, for instance, and our daughter turned 24 last October. There are times I would have cheerfully drowned his mother and his father. They're dead. We've never had a TV in the bedroom, though. That DOES matter.
  • 275. Will you spontaneouslt burst into Gilbert & Sullivan at random inervals throughout the day? Hey, will you guys marry me?
  • Marriage is like a rubber band. Pull too hard, and SNAP!
  • Marriage is like rubber pants...(I can't think of a reason why...) SNAP!
  • Marriage is like a rubber plant.
  • "A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year."
  • Giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me!
  • Marriage is like Robert Plant.
  • Marry a plant and put down some roots fer gawd sakes.
  • No! Abjure plants and conjugate instead with one of the many attractive and available protista, unicellular protozoans and unicellular and multicellular algae with cilia and flagella (called undulipodia). Plant-spouses are soooo 2005.
  • I married a particle man. Does that count? He's tiny, but don't let his size fool ya.
  • Maria robbed, hurt plant.
  • Marriage likes underpants.
  • mmmm... rubber pants....
  • Kids, go outside. Your monkeys are arguing.