I suppose we can still make fun of Bush.
It'll be interesting to see what happens next to the Turkmen. Can we set up a watch?
Who's going to fill the trifecta with Pinochet and our boy?
Castro?
Oh. my. god. I was not expecting that.
So long, 'Bashi. Don't let the door yadda yadda yadda. I wonder how long his golden statue will remain standing. And who will take over the presidency? Will there be an election (ha, as if)?
He had a meteorite too? Snap.
Bashi jokes funny again in 3...2...1...
I haven't been around here in ages, but as soon as I saw the news I thought "ZOMG! To MoFi!"
Hi Monkeys! No long time no smell. : )
"ZOMG?" What's the "z" for?
Oh my God!! I came out of hiding to comment in this thread! Oh Bashi Bashi Bashi!?! Who am i going to make fun of now?
.
Good for the people of Turkmenistan; woe unto us, the travellers who must seek new guidance.
Castro?
.
Isn't Castro mostly dead too?
Yes, but only mostly dead, which as you know, is still a little bit alive...
I think MonkeyFilter should take credit for this.
Latest word is: Castro is going to prove he is still alive by letting Barbara Walters interview him. Add your own punchline.
I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of Turkmen suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
No wonder I can't sleep.
Wasn't Star Wars banned in Turkmenistan?
To answer the poster's question, I suggest, in descending order:
Quodnenk
Louis
Gonzo from the Muppets
My boss
Anyone who doesn't like 'We Built This City on Rock & Roll'
Does that mean Chy can come back?
Farewell old Bashi,
You were flashi.
Does that mean Chy can come back?
The anti-Chy says "go and read a book".
About anything.
It's true that was an incredibly pissweak absence, but now Cryhen and glama are out, most of the sputtle is gone for me.
Bah, humbug!
According to Turkmen law, the president is succeeded by the head of the legislative body, the People's Assembly. But this post was held by Mr Niyazov himself.
*mind boggles*
*prays*
Dear God,
SUBJECT: BASHI REGIME CHANGE
Please refer to my previous prayer on this topic.
My instructions were, I thought, quite clear on this point, and I can only assume that there was some interference on the celestial line when I asked you to remove the "tracibashi" - not, as you seem to have misunderstood, the "turkmenbashi".
I trust that, when your next monthly invoice is received at my offices, this item will not appear on the traditional itemised listing under "disbursements".
If you have any questions on the abovemention matter, please do not hesitate to give me a sign.
Yours sincerely,
*smacks quiddie over head with spare gold statue*
Content de vous revoir, wolof!
Au revoir, t-bashi!
Why is the front page not draped in black crepe?
Why are we not rending our garments and gnashing our teeth in all-consuming grief?
What a solemn day this is now that the light has gone out of the world! And on the Solstice, no less! How fitting!
Will there be an election (ha, as if)?
Ceeb said this morning that the deputy PM announced that elections would be held December 24th. So, Sunday.
I don't think Jimmy Carter can find a flight before then...
Oh my God!! I came out of hiding to comment in this thread!
That was my first thought when I heard the news this morning.
Would an ice palace melt in hell?
This is a sad day indeed for the MoFi. One golden . for the 'Bashi.
Never before have we been faced with such a moment in our history, that each and every one of us, *cough*, should gather together, salute our fallen comrade/s, and git down! Let the floodgates open your majesty! Release the prisoners! Today, we are all Bashi at heart. They who post the next thread is a traitor and shall be sacrificed to the eternal flame!!
*drops to knees and submits to the allmighty Bashi*
Don't think I've ever rushed to MoFi so quickly before
I haven't been around here in ages, but as soon as I saw the news I thought "ZOMG! To MoFi!"
Same here. I wonder if we'll have a reunion of Old MoFites on this sad and joyous occasion? (Oh PF, where art thou?)
Oh, jeez -- I just realized that the election and the funeral are scheduled for the same day! Which, come to think of it, is pretty handy, as everyone's already in line.
In honour of his passing, I will not listen to commercial radio today. It's what Turkmenbashi would have wanted.
According to Turkmen law, the president is succeeded by the head of the legislative body, the People's Assembly. But this post was held by Mr Niyazov himself.
So now we've zombi Turkmenbashi! Braaaains!
So, are we allowed to grow beards now, or what?
It's compulsory.
I'm growing one right now!
No hint of a shadow yet, but it's only been two and a half hours.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners WELL-MENTAL MELON-WORSHIPPING NUT-JOBS come.
*polishes melon, regrets shaving*
According to Turkmen law, the president is succeeded by the head of the legislative body, the People's Assembly. But this post was held by Mr Niyazov himself.
I like that. Why let a little thing like death stop someone from leading. It would be no less insane than having him in charge whan he was alive.
Besides, world markets love stability.
I bet there are natural gas barons salivating right now.
I like that. Why let a little thing like death stop someone from leading.
Well it worked for Kim Il-sung, eternal president of North Korea even in death.
Seriously, though, this is good/bad news of a different kind. Succession can get very nasty in these situations. Any bets on when the Russians invade?
Am enjoying new moufful of gold teef right now.
Yeah, my Pirate Tooth and I are feeling much better now about our planned luxury vacation to the ice palace!
Applications are now being accepted for the title of Most Batshit Crazy World Leader. All nominees will be considered.
I nominate Werzog but in a good way.
Holy missing monkey Batman, it's goetter! Yo!
What a shocker! Any chance it wasn't a heart attack, but a well-placed bit of poison?
I'll eat a Watermelon Jolly Rancher to commemorate this day, and hope good things follow for the people of Turkmenistan.
The Bashi should have made it illegal to die.
The Bashi should have made it illegal to die. Ah, it is missing the small details that lead to downfall.
/giggling at smt
/bowled over to see goetter and the hat!!!
/expecting Fes to turn up any minute now
Wow. Turkmenbashi's passing brings us all together. In honor of this moment, I must link to a cheesy Turkmen song. As you can see, Turkmen music videos always involve a guy, a car and a girl who doesn't care.
Ding dong, the 'Bashi is dead.
This is a day of celebration; that man was a crazy dictator who made his people's lives hell. I just fear that chaos may make things in Turkmenistan even worse.
There is a woeful lack of bees in this thread.
Weezel>/b>: "ZOMG?" What's the "z" for?
I always assumed it referred to me ... no?
I think we'll be happy so long as our Monkeybashi still thrives. ;)
Here's to hoping the world gets better for the people of Turkmenistan!
Zombies, already!
It stands for ZUT!
Gheesh, you people!
So nice to see so many. Is it wrong to be so happy in a dead guy's thread?
So, is this the new roll call thread?
I'm here!
*adjusts HI MY NAME IS GOETTER nametag*
There's a social aspect to this funeral, as to every funeral. -- Hey, who made the salad?
Came straight here from the New York Times, posthaste.
Oh praise be to the Great Melon!
And lookit all the long-lost monkeys!
Interesting and perilous times ahead for the Turkmen people. I hope events provide some relief for them.
Turkmenbashi: You're soaking in it.
Should they bury him in the giant shoe? Can we stand in line to throw rotted melons on his grave?
Hey Wolly! Did you try this dip over here? Fantastic - Hey there's the wendellator! Lookin good Homer . . . Remind me to thank whoever invited these dancers . . Hey Goetter! Long time no post! Holy shit! The Hat even! Oh man this is great, where's the melonballer?
*Frugs to "Louie Louie", spills drink*
I sure hope they bury him in a huge gold and jewel encrusted casket. Anything less would be an afront to the 'bashi.
As always, funerals bring together long lost friends.
As here's hoping too for positive change to come to his people.
He was only President-For-Life -- he forgot to add the ever-important "Eternal" in front -- so I fear there will be no Zombibashi. It is the sad.
*eats commemorative melon*
The Turkmenbashi is dead. Long live the Monkeybashi!
*gets another melon daiquiri; scratches new beard*
I liked Chyren. Of course I don't want to say too much or I may be exiled, forced to feed on the frankly fatuous commentary of other tubes. First they came for the Chy, but I was not... etc.
Now all we need for this to be complete is for Mooshy to write an article about it.
It's truly a sad day for the whole world.
I DEMAND A BASHELEGY FROM THE BEESBASHI!
Ah but one does not demand honey. One simply waits.
Are there any more of those little . . cream puffy . . things?
*walks into thread, drops luggage*
Hey punks, what'd I miss?
Ah but one does not demand honey. One simply waits.
You'd make a lousy bear.
Let us take this time to bow our heads in a moment of quiet reflection for the Bashi.
And now, LET'S BOOGIE!!
The Bashi is dead
He fell on his head.
I think the most surprising news to emerge from this is that the old bastard actually had a heart.
Is anybody else thinking of applying for the vacant position?
Isn't it great how a funeral brings everyone together?
In the traditions of primitive kingship, Turkmenbashi has made the blood sacrifice to the Earth Mother that our fields may be fruitful in the year to come.
If you think this has brought us together, just wait to see who turns up when they read the will.
It's seems apparent that Monkeyfilter et al should step in and fill this power vacuum.
Tracy, are you ready?
Monkeybashi is, now, really, the one true Bashi. Spermutaniyazov whatever sucked anyways.
Niyazov's successor will be a person conceived by artificial insemination and known as Turkeybasterbashi.
Hi nunia!
In other news, daisy_may is still alive.
Jeebus, that's a name I haven't heard in a while.
*Puts lovely casserole on table*
Anyone hungry?
*Puts lovely bottle of booze on table*
Anyone thirsty?
*eats, drinks, is merry*
*waves happily to all the monkeys*
All hail the one true Monkeybashi!
nunia, baby!!
now ya'll stop mekking me laff I gotta TMJ thingy and it hoits :(
/weeps uncontrollably. eats melons. sniffles.
TMJ: Taste My Jelly?
Turkmen Melon Juice?
Sillyheads, it means Teanut Mutter and Jelly
Good grief.
'oo goes there? 'tis ooga!
Well, it seemed like everyone else was coming out of the woodwork so I thought I'd put in my two cents. Arr!
Lord Oogasworth! Good to see you, sir!
Lady Moth! The pleasure is all mine! Mine, I tell you! Mine! Bwahahahahaaa!
Too Much Jumpin'?
/pours self glass of lovely booze
In other news, daisy_may is still alive.
Perhaps Daisy May will become the new Turkmenbashi.
*pauses to consider the intricate levels of irony*
Ode on the Death of a Favorite Dictator,
Dead as a Pork Chop and None Too Soon
'Twas in a lofty palace dais
Where China's gayest art had laid
A marble white as snow;
The Father of the Turkmen kind,
The pensive Saparmurat reclined,
Gazed on the town below.
His bristly 'stache his joy declared,
The great square face, the noble chin,
The heaving of his chest;
His coat, with medals rich adorned,
His brows of jet, and beady eyes,
He saw; and thought it best.
Koko and Medusa! How Do?
I say we just invade.
Er, I mean, bring them freedom and democracy.
Lord knows we have so much of that in the USA to share nowadays.
nunia where the heckayou been?
Let this thread celebrate the glory that is MonkeyFilter!
Turkmenbashi is dead.
Long live the MonkeyBashi!
Break out the melons, put on your new shoes, and let's boogie!
all I want for Christmas is a preview button...
goetter!
*also misses PF*
nunia where the heckayou been?
I was about to ask you the same question.
Are you avoiding me?
oof! looks like i got here late...turkmenbashi dead, eh? wowza.
and, er, ^~ ....chy? where? what? huh?
have we ever seen the 2 of them together?
and glama?
wait WHAT?
...oh and the z in zOMG stands for 'zOMG I am soooo stupid i hit the z when i went for the shift key! but "Zombies" got me thinking
of a good replacement for the Turkmenbashi....
ZOMBIE TURKMENBASHI!!!!!
ding dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? The Wicked Witch! ding dong the wicked witch is dead!
seriously, what happened? fill me in...
For some reason I thought the Bashi had a 'stache-i. Must have confused him with my dear old Uncle Joe.
I share sexyrobot's confusion....what's up with Chy and Glama, did we miss some sort of trainwreck drama or spaz out???
sexyrobot!!! it's you!! And looking as fine as a robot can, might I add.
Yes, there have been alarums and excursions of late. Our lovely Filter's been bruised and battered; had a few bits surgically removed, and in the process lost some of her healthy and long-established limbs. So far she's standing and walking, but will she ever truly boogie again? Only the shadow knows.
In other news, how are you?
Hi Medusa! Listen, there's a little something we'd like you to do on 'Bashi's grave. It's what he would have wanted.
/hands over roll of TP, retreats to give our girl a bit of privacy
mournersWELL-MENTAL MELON-WORSHIPPING NUT-JOBS come.