December 09, 2006

BlackBerry Orphans - "The growing use of email gadgets is spawning a generation of resentful children. A look at furtive thumb-typers, the signs of compulsive use and how kids are fighting back."

Emma Colonna wishes her parents would behave, at least when they're out in public. The ninth-grade student in Port Washington, N.Y., says she has caught her parents typing emails on their Treos during her eighth-grade awards ceremony, at dinner and in darkened movie theaters. "During my dance recital, I'm 99% sure they were emailing except while I was on stage," she says. "I think that's kind of rude." Emma, 14, also identifies with adults who wish their kids spent less time playing videogames. "At my student orientation for high school, my mom was playing solitaire," she says. "She has a bad attention span." Her mother, Barbara Chang, the chief executive of a nonprofit group, says, "It's become this crutch." Safety is another issue. Will Singletary, a 9-year-old in Atlanta, doesn't approve of his dad's proclivity for typing while driving. "It makes me worried he's going to crash," he says. "He only looks up a few times." His dad, private banker Ross Singletary, calls it "a legit concern." He adds: "Some emails are important enough to look at en route."

  • I'm mildly offended when I see people wearing headphones while pushing prams or buggies. I know that infants can't really hold a conversation, but they generally like being spoken to all the same. Re the BlackBerrys, people need to form a greater distinction between "work time" and "nonwork time". I think this used to be easier when e-mails (or paper-based memoranda) were things you could receive only at the office. This always contactable stuff has its benefits, but if you're checking e-mail while driving, there's a problem.
  • I can already see myself as a parent who'll check her email too much, but typing while driving? That shows a basic lack of concern for your kid's safety.
  • You name your kid "Hohlt" with an extra "h" and you're just asking for a dysfunctional relationship.
  • "Some emails are important enough to look at en route." and risk killing your kid, some other motorist or a pedestrian because you're not paying attention? What a selfish, arrogant jerk.
  • Exactly so. Put me on the jury!
  • The driving example is just ridiculous. There is a reason you can't drive and talk on your mobile phone in some countries - it's dangerous! You aren't paying attention to the driving! Even without the kids issue these silly people are treading firmly on the path of communication burnout. The more mails you reply to the more you get back. Everyone gets trapped in this cycle. I'm pretty strict about communication in my business - my clients can mail me at any time - but they will only get a reply between 10am and 7pm on business days. While this may not seem the way to do it as far as being accommodating - it means that communication is more well thought out and effective. There is nothing more painful than having someone send several mails with one point in each which aren't thought out but just dashed off in a hurry. These people are creating more fires to put out at a later time by instantly sending off whatever is on the top of their heads. How do you feel when you are with someone and they are constantly mailing other people? Feels bad right? You can understand why these kids are pissed off. Sorry preaching to the choir here I suspect - just needed to get that off my chest.
  • "Some emails are important enough to look at en route." I doubt if they'd pick me for the jury. If there's an accident, I'm all for hanging the bugger. It's just as bad, if not worse, than being over the limit, IMHO. Oh, and I'm beginning to hate all these portable devices with the hate that burns hotter than a million suns. I've probably spent 6 hours on the phone with my damn Cingular account in the last three months. I get something resolved, and they screw the account up AGAIN. Turned the phones off THREE times, each their error. Buggers.
  • There are countless ways a child can be neglected, of course. This may be the latest form, in line with our technologically advanced, gadget-crazed world. Growing up as a latchkey kid, however, this sentence ...children should ask themselves, "Would you rather have your parents 20% not there or 100% not there?" jumps out at me, not as an acceptable defense, but as a clearly delineating point. At the end of the day, these parents are just being lazy, negligent drones. It's a completely different kettle of fish from neglected children of, say, working-class, single-mom families whose head(s) of household work 10-12 hours a day, a "Blackberry" being the least of their concerns. Yes, the article describes a middle-class problem for middle-class folk, and I'm muddling it up with possibly irrelevant/derailing class comparisons, but all this lament over how parents can't even pay attention during dance recitals and the like makes me wonder... what's the problem here, exactly? My heart remains resolutely unbroken.