December 04, 2006

Military jams garage doors in quest for national security. A U.S. Air Force signal from Cheyenne Mountain renders automatic garage doors inoperable. Owners left to open doors manually like some godless Communist.
  • You mean I have to get out of my seat-warmed SUV to open the garage door of my McMansion?? You maniacs! What was that frequency that makes people randomly orgasm? Turn that thing on again. Y'know that's the problem with today's military, they're so doggone serious all the time.
  • This also happened a while back in nearby Victoria, when a visiting US aircraft carrier anchored in the harbour.
  • "It would have been nice not to have to get out of the car and open the door manually," said Dewey Rinehard". So! Dewey Rinehard, our paths cross once again.
  • If the frequency is reserved for military use, the manufacturers of the openers have a responsibility to repair every one of the devices.
  • “Capt. Tracy Giles of the 21st Space Wing said air force officials were trying to figure out how to resolve the problem of their signal overpowering garage door remotes.” *theme from Top Gun: Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar * (F-14 being fueled.) (Old man in wife beater opens his garage door.) *Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go* “Mustang, this is Maverick requesting flyby?” “That's a negative ghostrider, the pattern is full.” (Old man watering lawn) *Highway to the Danger Zone! Right into the Danger Zone!* (F-14 buzzes neighborhood) (Dogs barking, garage doors going up and down) (Garage door closes on hose. Old man on lawn shakes fist at passing fighter jets) “Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash.” *Gonna take you Right. the. Danger Zone!* (Beige colored Buick sedan stuck in garage honks horn) (Buick driver dies of carbon monoxide poisoning) “You two really are cowboys.” *Right into the Danger! Zoooooooone!*
  • This was happening in Ottawa a while ago. CBC Link from Nov 2005
  • I would love to express my offensive onion with you, but I have had it eaten by the staff. Strictly for laughs.
  • Owners left to open doors manually like some godless Communist Awesome